I don't know how to emphasize this enough but things had been a bit hazy for me lately. I have made major decisions in my life and never had I been so powerful and firm in my lifetime.
Two weeks ago, I decided to call it quits and leave Convergys for good. I thought about resigning before but that did not materialize, not until now. Thanks to the friends I have and the bonds that I made, I procrastinated my plan.
I am writing this blog entry as my last one while still at Convergys. It will be that last one entry I am ever going to post. The rest that would follow are entries that would pertain to the new chapter for that road uncharted. The falls, the stumbles, the rises, the joys and the grims I have to go thru, not really in that order.
Bittersweet memories are running thru my head while writing this entry. I have been part of Convergys long enough to meet and bump with some interesting friends and other walks of life. Some that became friends. Some that became an inspiration. Few that became foes and that relatively small portion that I have had misunderstandings with. And yes, that one person that made my heart thump. That one person that made me experience the shivers, the excitement and the thrills of sneaking and stalking all for love's sake. All of those are but a past. The past better off reminisced but not relived.
I have made my resignation as quiet as possible. In fact, a few people only knew about it which I wanted. It was not because I hate dramas but because I preferred graceful exits over hysterical ones. After all, I am a model in my own right.
Many were shocked with the decision that I had made. I have always been the "perky one" among the flock. The hyperactive and the jolly one could ever meet. And I intend to keep the title. I don't want friends to see me crying with tears all over my face. I want them to remember that God damn jolly person they met. That happy-faced. That guy with a genetically unusual high-pitched voice not the crybaby.
I don't know if people were really sad I resigned. But I know majority did. There will always be that marginalized few that were happy I was gone because it was minus one to competition. Genuinely enough, I felt their "I-miss-yous" and the "I'll-text-yous".
I am a firm believer of that saying, "no goodbyes only see you later". And friends, we will see each other later still. It has been fun working with you guys.
Thursday, January 18, 2007
Wednesday, December 20, 2006
FRAIL
In times that you don't expect something to happen and it just happens all of sudden would be the most romantic and funny thing fate can ever do to you. Especially if it's meeting your soulmate or a yummy to-be partner. But if it just involves yourself and your stupid posture that caused the cracking of your spines while getting in a car or a public transport, that's a different story. And that's exactly what happenned to my oh-so-perfect-spines.
It all started on my way to work when I got in in this nice-looking "vehicle-for-rent" a.k.a as fx in the third world country. I was in a rush since a lot of people were trying to get in it. Scarcity of public utility vehicles during this desperate times are evident due to the juxtaposition of people side by side, waiting to be picked up like prostitutes in the red light district. It's like Filipino diaspora in the entire globe everytime I go to work. That's how worst it is. Believe me.
Last night, it was written in my stars that I would get into this not so fancy fx vehicle and it was embedded in my palm lines as well that I would injure my lumbar region without even knowing the reason why. It was like giving a complete stranger your cellphone because you spaced out.
And there I was, seeing myself in the faces of others trying to find a perfect position without that hurt rooted from my lumbar region injury. No matter how slanted or how I do my used-to-be comfy position, still the hurt won't go away. I spent the entire time supporting my body with my both hands grasping what my hands could get a hold of so the pain would be minimized. But it was an absolute discomfort. It really was.
I spent the entire night at work trying to look for that perfect spot so the ache won't consume me. And I was unsuccessful. After a handful of pain reliever and menthol scent on the floor getting into my colleagues' nostrils (poor victims), still I failed to fulfil my agenda - to be numb.
In these trying times when you thought you were invincible, it's funny how we all become vulnerable for a disease that we never ever thought would bring us down. It's funny how we draw our strength from others. To those people that we barely know. To those acquaintances and friends. Just like how we draw our faith from God, praying religiously for everything to go away. Just like that.
Healing is the law of nature. And it needs time to heal. It's just a matter of time for my back to bloom again and fully recuperate. I can't wait to reach my toes while arching my back again, hehe.
It all started on my way to work when I got in in this nice-looking "vehicle-for-rent" a.k.a as fx in the third world country. I was in a rush since a lot of people were trying to get in it. Scarcity of public utility vehicles during this desperate times are evident due to the juxtaposition of people side by side, waiting to be picked up like prostitutes in the red light district. It's like Filipino diaspora in the entire globe everytime I go to work. That's how worst it is. Believe me.
Last night, it was written in my stars that I would get into this not so fancy fx vehicle and it was embedded in my palm lines as well that I would injure my lumbar region without even knowing the reason why. It was like giving a complete stranger your cellphone because you spaced out.
And there I was, seeing myself in the faces of others trying to find a perfect position without that hurt rooted from my lumbar region injury. No matter how slanted or how I do my used-to-be comfy position, still the hurt won't go away. I spent the entire time supporting my body with my both hands grasping what my hands could get a hold of so the pain would be minimized. But it was an absolute discomfort. It really was.
I spent the entire night at work trying to look for that perfect spot so the ache won't consume me. And I was unsuccessful. After a handful of pain reliever and menthol scent on the floor getting into my colleagues' nostrils (poor victims), still I failed to fulfil my agenda - to be numb.
In these trying times when you thought you were invincible, it's funny how we all become vulnerable for a disease that we never ever thought would bring us down. It's funny how we draw our strength from others. To those people that we barely know. To those acquaintances and friends. Just like how we draw our faith from God, praying religiously for everything to go away. Just like that.
Healing is the law of nature. And it needs time to heal. It's just a matter of time for my back to bloom again and fully recuperate. I can't wait to reach my toes while arching my back again, hehe.
Tuesday, December 12, 2006
The Haunting
Everyday marks the beginning of our new haunting. From the time that we get off from bed til the time that we get on it again, it's interesting how we always see ourselves flawed and imperfect.
Mirror has always been our partner in crime. We always take a closer look at ourselves. Comparing what we don't have and hoping to have what we lack. We always find ways and routes to the road of ephemeral beauty - from our outta bed dos to our lashes to the lips to the pimple to the pore to the scar to the most uninhibited mole in the most unknown part of us, we notice. Hoping that it's gone and away. We find what we don't have and hate or hope for something that we think would look good on us. We drown ourselves with the "what-ifs" and the "I-wish" statements that draw and elicit personal disliking about one's self.
Comparison is just a contagious disease. It makes you realize what you don't have and not seem to be contented with what has been given to you. It makes you take things for granted. It makes you unappreciate the littlest graces, long and become thirsty of grave things you think important that just aren't.
When was the last time that you appreciated yourself? When was the last time that you embraced and walked tall with that wrinkle around your eye AND NOT think of botox for a second there? When was the last time that you counted your blessings?
When you look into the mirror, you see yourself's reflection. You ask about that pimple you see in between your eyebrows and how badly you want to go to your dermatologist for a facial. Oooh, that can be so soothing. And then you suddenly think of your hair, too. That it's begging you for a new do and hair color. And yeah, that hair spa would do such wonders to your scalp. But before you do that, think of children in the streets that have endured hunger whose last meal was yesterday. Those exact same children who had not taken a bath and who never dared to think of their scalp and skin tones simply because they get preoccupied shutting their eyes so they won't feel the hurt from their stomachs.
Whenever you complain about your job, think of people that badly wanted to be in your position - to earn as much and to do what you do. Those who badly need the work that you do to bring food on the table.
Whenever you long for a shirt or a pair of pants that cost hundreds or thousands of pesos, think of those people who could not even afford to buy one. Those who use cartons or grocery boxes as a "make-do" solution for their mishaps, to cover their slender and frail bodies.
I guess what I am saying is, we must learn to appreciate. Learn to savor every bit of something that is being given to us. Be thankful for the things that are provided and not ask for things that are lacking.
In this day and age when the situation has gotten from bad to worse I couldn't help but wonder, "how does an ounce of gratitude help us through life's inconsistencies? Is it really gratitude or faith that we hold on to?"
Friday, December 08, 2006
VEGETARIAN for a CAUSE
My first entry after a month of shutting up. That's a shocker. Gees, it has been a while indeed since I updated my blog and Jesus Christ, I missed it.
I had been busy worrying about my health for the past weeks. I had all sorts of check ups and going back and forth in Medical City. No serious health condition though, I just panicked and exagerrated the symptons. After some stressful tests here and there, I am in my best shape ever, except for my BP (short for blood pressure).
I have been regarded as the healthiest person around the workplace - nice body (ahem) but not body-builder-ish, positive outlook but not all-smiles all the time and the friendliest among the block with the hi-hello of sorts. But due to stress, I was not able to cope up with my borderline to hypertension blood pressure.
So I am doing all the precautions possible. And as for starters, vegetarianism. It's my third week as a vegetarian already. Well, not exactly. I am more like a flexitarian. I still eat meat - fish and chicken mostly. My diet would mainly be fruits and steamed veggies, sauteed or fried. I limit my carbs intake and confine myself with cereals and oatmeals as subtitutes. It has been good so far but man, it's killing me. Bluntless of food with little or no sodium just makes me feel like eating in a garden, literally. With the goats, rabbits and cows free in the green pasture.
Thank God, my BP is still the same, near the threshold of normal and beyond normal. And it is sometimes scary. Im starting to think this is something that is caused by my poor lifestyle and too much stress in the workplace. Little did I know that it's slowly killing me like a bastard waiting for his chance for revenge. Well, there is a consequence for every opportunity in life. Life is full of surprises. You just gotta do what you gotta do.
And as for me, I would have to take care of my body more because I only have one gorgeous, smooth and flawless complexion. I have thought of getting back in shape again and enrolling myself in a gym to tone muscles and do some cardiovascular activities. I need an outlet for stress. Or better, if I can do yoga. If I can afford it. Fuck it. It is so expensive. You relax for a month thru yoga lessons for Php 4000+. And I am NOT kidding. It's that much for a relaxation. So I guess in a busy world that we are living on now, relaxation is a mere luxury not everybody can afford.
But stick to vegetarianism. He. he. he. It's good for you. :)
I had been busy worrying about my health for the past weeks. I had all sorts of check ups and going back and forth in Medical City. No serious health condition though, I just panicked and exagerrated the symptons. After some stressful tests here and there, I am in my best shape ever, except for my BP (short for blood pressure).
I have been regarded as the healthiest person around the workplace - nice body (ahem) but not body-builder-ish, positive outlook but not all-smiles all the time and the friendliest among the block with the hi-hello of sorts. But due to stress, I was not able to cope up with my borderline to hypertension blood pressure.
So I am doing all the precautions possible. And as for starters, vegetarianism. It's my third week as a vegetarian already. Well, not exactly. I am more like a flexitarian. I still eat meat - fish and chicken mostly. My diet would mainly be fruits and steamed veggies, sauteed or fried. I limit my carbs intake and confine myself with cereals and oatmeals as subtitutes. It has been good so far but man, it's killing me. Bluntless of food with little or no sodium just makes me feel like eating in a garden, literally. With the goats, rabbits and cows free in the green pasture.
Thank God, my BP is still the same, near the threshold of normal and beyond normal. And it is sometimes scary. Im starting to think this is something that is caused by my poor lifestyle and too much stress in the workplace. Little did I know that it's slowly killing me like a bastard waiting for his chance for revenge. Well, there is a consequence for every opportunity in life. Life is full of surprises. You just gotta do what you gotta do.
And as for me, I would have to take care of my body more because I only have one gorgeous, smooth and flawless complexion. I have thought of getting back in shape again and enrolling myself in a gym to tone muscles and do some cardiovascular activities. I need an outlet for stress. Or better, if I can do yoga. If I can afford it. Fuck it. It is so expensive. You relax for a month thru yoga lessons for Php 4000+. And I am NOT kidding. It's that much for a relaxation. So I guess in a busy world that we are living on now, relaxation is a mere luxury not everybody can afford.
But stick to vegetarianism. He. he. he. It's good for you. :)
Friday, November 17, 2006
FREAKY FRIDAY
A week of turmoil has ended. And yet again, I am burnt-out. It it weren't for the people who got absent from work today, we should have been dancing and counting sheeps in the field. It was the total opposite. All of us spent our last day of work tending with customers with no educational background, who have not even attended college. Those who do not know the word please stored in their chicken brain. And believe me, cases today are the most unusual ones. Cases that I have not encountered in my entire stay here in this program.
Everything is just so wrong today. Except for my hair. My oh-so-lovely-hair that seems to have had so much praises, more so than those low-life beings who have won the Oscars. And who's complaining, I know it's hot. Burning like hell. Sweet. I guess it was blessing in disguise that I have made my curly hair so long to let it be styled like this. I so love it.
But aside from my good hairday, everything is just so screwed up. My pimple in my chin had grown so big it looked like a damn mini-face disguising as a pimple. Those idiots had grouped in throngs and asked for reinforcements that it had made it so much like a power-ranger robot stuck in my face. Good thing my hair gets to be noticed more than my nasty colossal pimple.
Aside from my pimple, I was late for work. I was so lazy I planned on skipping working. But my charlatan brain cells had decided that hey-go-to-work-it's-friday-no-calls-today! and poor me I believed them. Right after I got comfy with my seat, calls seem to just haunt me. And people with such behavoiral problems seem to know where I am. They find me like I have this LOSERS-THIS-WAY sign screaming at their faces. And there are no supervisors. How's that for a day, huh?
(Takes a deep breath)
Gees, this is so damn tiring. I so need love. And I don't know how to emphasis enough. Hahahaha!
Everything is just so wrong today. Except for my hair. My oh-so-lovely-hair that seems to have had so much praises, more so than those low-life beings who have won the Oscars. And who's complaining, I know it's hot. Burning like hell. Sweet. I guess it was blessing in disguise that I have made my curly hair so long to let it be styled like this. I so love it.
But aside from my good hairday, everything is just so screwed up. My pimple in my chin had grown so big it looked like a damn mini-face disguising as a pimple. Those idiots had grouped in throngs and asked for reinforcements that it had made it so much like a power-ranger robot stuck in my face. Good thing my hair gets to be noticed more than my nasty colossal pimple.
Aside from my pimple, I was late for work. I was so lazy I planned on skipping working. But my charlatan brain cells had decided that hey-go-to-work-it's-friday-no-calls-today! and poor me I believed them. Right after I got comfy with my seat, calls seem to just haunt me. And people with such behavoiral problems seem to know where I am. They find me like I have this LOSERS-THIS-WAY sign screaming at their faces. And there are no supervisors. How's that for a day, huh?
(Takes a deep breath)
Gees, this is so damn tiring. I so need love. And I don't know how to emphasis enough. Hahahaha!
Thursday, November 09, 2006
FRESH FROM A DAY OFF
A lot had happened the last two days of my absence from work. The first instance was I was sick and the other day was my off. If you ask me, I'd rather spend my off outside the house than being bed-ridden, touching and wiping the sticky fluid off of my nose incessantly just isn't fun at all. That's just gross. That is just so not my turf.
Aside from being sick, there were quite a number of instances that made me euphoric. It is too soon to tell. :) But once everything is final, I will make sure that the whole world would know about it. Only my closest friends know about this yet and I am sure they are so damn giggling right now because not a lot were privileged enough for it. Hihihi.
As the saying goes, when it rains, it pours. It's actually quite true. Elaborating further would make me caught for the things that I should not be divulging early on. I just wish everything would turn out well. I hope. In God's time, I have faith.
Aside from being sick, there were quite a number of instances that made me euphoric. It is too soon to tell. :) But once everything is final, I will make sure that the whole world would know about it. Only my closest friends know about this yet and I am sure they are so damn giggling right now because not a lot were privileged enough for it. Hihihi.
As the saying goes, when it rains, it pours. It's actually quite true. Elaborating further would make me caught for the things that I should not be divulging early on. I just wish everything would turn out well. I hope. In God's time, I have faith.
Thursday, November 02, 2006
RECUPERATING
I thought I couldn't come to work today since I have the worst contagious flu ever documented in history of me. Thanks to a liter of pineapple juice and three pieces of oranges I am a bit better now.
I swear I could barely breathe yesterday. Well, there had been remote instances when I feel that somebody is smothering me and putting something into my nicely-contoured nostrils, hehe. Each of my nostrils was clogged by a bubble waiting to be bursted. And I could not speak well. I sounded like I am a big walking harelip. Having bedroom voice is acceptable. But distorted speech like a drunk is a no, no.
I spent the entire day dealing with my predicament. Trying to recuperate, and at the same time, entertain calls with all out cheerfulness. Gees, no wonder call center agents sometimes end up in mental institutions for treatment. Schizophrenia. Paranoia. Dual Personality Disorder. Insomnia.
Good thing I have no work for tomorrow. I have all day to rest and recuperate. Too bad though I won't see the retards on the floor for that well-publicized Halloween Costume Party.
Bummer.
I swear I could barely breathe yesterday. Well, there had been remote instances when I feel that somebody is smothering me and putting something into my nicely-contoured nostrils, hehe. Each of my nostrils was clogged by a bubble waiting to be bursted. And I could not speak well. I sounded like I am a big walking harelip. Having bedroom voice is acceptable. But distorted speech like a drunk is a no, no.
I spent the entire day dealing with my predicament. Trying to recuperate, and at the same time, entertain calls with all out cheerfulness. Gees, no wonder call center agents sometimes end up in mental institutions for treatment. Schizophrenia. Paranoia. Dual Personality Disorder. Insomnia.
Good thing I have no work for tomorrow. I have all day to rest and recuperate. Too bad though I won't see the retards on the floor for that well-publicized Halloween Costume Party.
Bummer.
Wednesday, November 01, 2006
THE RAIN AND MY NOSE
The sudden pour of the rain had made my nose red today. Thanks to my itsy bitsy little black umbrella I got wet from the rain. And not to mention the strong wind that almost turned my umbrella an inverted mushroom.
This is just unfortunate. I got off to work thinking that the rain won't be as harsh since I waited for it to subside right before I left. But still, it got me. Just a few steps away from our door, the rain pelted hard on my oh-s0-frail umbrella. I could not go back, thinking it would stop any moment then. Yes, my theory was correct. It did stop, after I GOT WET. My so tiny toes got soaked and splashed from stepping on water holes strategically placed on the pavement. My pink shirt got wet from raindrops and the drizzles mixed with the wind. My fabric body bag was wet as well. I could not do anything but wait. And wait. And wait again.
The rain finally stopped. My body was shivering because of that cold darn weather. The hem of my jeans and my slippers were wet. Afraid to get leptospirosis from the water holes that my toes were soaked in, I decided to buy a bottle of alcohol to cleanse and prevent myself from getting future skin diseases. Who would have wanted fungi dwelling in between your toes? Or smelly feet? Shheeeesh. The minute I came to the office, I immediately did my cleanliness routine. Thinking that I weathered the rain, I was completely blindsided.
I started sneezing and water-like fluid just came dripping from my nose all of a sudden. My eyes were watery and I felt cold of a sudden. Darn it! I got a flu from that quick exposure! I hate it. I hate being sick. I hate being taken care of. I hate being bed-ridden. What I hate about it the most is the constant wiping of your nose til it gets red and get tired from doing it over and over again. Every second.
I hate to spoil Christmas but I hate it more when I get to be compared with Rudolph. I need to drink a lot of juices now, a lot of water and start getting medication. I have to be treated soon. I have to be better soon! If not for this darn rain, I would be jumping rope by now and helping out with the decoration in the office for halloween. Great. This is just great.
This is just unfortunate. I got off to work thinking that the rain won't be as harsh since I waited for it to subside right before I left. But still, it got me. Just a few steps away from our door, the rain pelted hard on my oh-s0-frail umbrella. I could not go back, thinking it would stop any moment then. Yes, my theory was correct. It did stop, after I GOT WET. My so tiny toes got soaked and splashed from stepping on water holes strategically placed on the pavement. My pink shirt got wet from raindrops and the drizzles mixed with the wind. My fabric body bag was wet as well. I could not do anything but wait. And wait. And wait again.
The rain finally stopped. My body was shivering because of that cold darn weather. The hem of my jeans and my slippers were wet. Afraid to get leptospirosis from the water holes that my toes were soaked in, I decided to buy a bottle of alcohol to cleanse and prevent myself from getting future skin diseases. Who would have wanted fungi dwelling in between your toes? Or smelly feet? Shheeeesh. The minute I came to the office, I immediately did my cleanliness routine. Thinking that I weathered the rain, I was completely blindsided.
I started sneezing and water-like fluid just came dripping from my nose all of a sudden. My eyes were watery and I felt cold of a sudden. Darn it! I got a flu from that quick exposure! I hate it. I hate being sick. I hate being taken care of. I hate being bed-ridden. What I hate about it the most is the constant wiping of your nose til it gets red and get tired from doing it over and over again. Every second.
I hate to spoil Christmas but I hate it more when I get to be compared with Rudolph. I need to drink a lot of juices now, a lot of water and start getting medication. I have to be treated soon. I have to be better soon! If not for this darn rain, I would be jumping rope by now and helping out with the decoration in the office for halloween. Great. This is just great.
Friday, October 27, 2006
STAYING POSITIVE
A day rest from work can do wonders, at least for me anyways. It's not about going out that lightens me up, but the sleep that I get - undisrupted since it's not everyday that I get one. Not thinking about the pressure and the mishaps that I get from stressful calls is something that keeps my mind off of things that constantly bug me from the moment I open my eyes til the time that I close them. How poetic! (and a bit exaggerated! hihi.)
So, whenever I have the time to somehow recharge and get as much sleep as possible, I take advantage. It keeps me positive, and watching movies that I buy in bulk everytime I go to the mall just reinforces that feeling.
You see, I do not go out a lot. I prefer watching movies at home and lying on our comfy couch the entire day til my eyes get weary. And close them. Snore. Wipe my sleep spittle. Wake up in the middle of the day and pee. Then sleep again. Watch movies after. And it's a vicious cycle, what can I say. Nevertheless, a simple life.
I am shallow. I know, I need to get a life. AND I don't want to grow old to be a grumpy grandfather or a loner in some retirement institute (I know it's not gonna happen!Filipino here, HELLO!!!). Somebody who never experienced to exercise and who has lived with the most disgusting body ever recorded in Guiness Book of World Records is definitely not my standard of beauty. I want to be called a hunk sometime in the future. Who doesn't?
(Thinks, aloud)
I have been called so many names already and I managed to live up to them. I have been called gorgeous always. I have been mistaken as a Hollywood celebrity. Some regard me as perfect. Some a model on a pedestal. And those terms are just music to my ears. Who's complaining? I will never get enough of those. You just can't help but appreciate those people that can admire true beauty.
If any of you bump into me in some high class promenade or some elite leisure haven, please, please, please, just be inventive in calling me such names. Being colloquial and Shakespearea-like won't hurt you, you know.
Can somebody think of another word for me? A word that would truly embody me.
ME. Geez, I am patronizing me. Self-preservation. I like it. If that's gonna make me stay positive, it ain't gonna hurt yah, yah know!!!
So, whenever I have the time to somehow recharge and get as much sleep as possible, I take advantage. It keeps me positive, and watching movies that I buy in bulk everytime I go to the mall just reinforces that feeling.
You see, I do not go out a lot. I prefer watching movies at home and lying on our comfy couch the entire day til my eyes get weary. And close them. Snore. Wipe my sleep spittle. Wake up in the middle of the day and pee. Then sleep again. Watch movies after. And it's a vicious cycle, what can I say. Nevertheless, a simple life.
I am shallow. I know, I need to get a life. AND I don't want to grow old to be a grumpy grandfather or a loner in some retirement institute (I know it's not gonna happen!Filipino here, HELLO!!!). Somebody who never experienced to exercise and who has lived with the most disgusting body ever recorded in Guiness Book of World Records is definitely not my standard of beauty. I want to be called a hunk sometime in the future. Who doesn't?
(Thinks, aloud)
I have been called so many names already and I managed to live up to them. I have been called gorgeous always. I have been mistaken as a Hollywood celebrity. Some regard me as perfect. Some a model on a pedestal. And those terms are just music to my ears. Who's complaining? I will never get enough of those. You just can't help but appreciate those people that can admire true beauty.
If any of you bump into me in some high class promenade or some elite leisure haven, please, please, please, just be inventive in calling me such names. Being colloquial and Shakespearea-like won't hurt you, you know.
Can somebody think of another word for me? A word that would truly embody me.
ME. Geez, I am patronizing me. Self-preservation. I like it. If that's gonna make me stay positive, it ain't gonna hurt yah, yah know!!!
Tuesday, October 24, 2006
THE ART OF LETTING GO
Last weekend was the best weekend I have ever had in my lifetime. It was somewhat paradoxical since I have not been into reflections and soul-searching much my entire life. For some weird reason, a friend sent me a message and wanted to meet with me to chitchat. And so we did.
Upon meeting, we had our usual exchanges - the common "how-are-you?", kisses, hugs and the eagerness to see a friend for ages. But not the things that 'friends with benefit' do, hell no!!!But it was nevertheless such a fun moment, like a saint on the verge of his epiphany.
And so, after our darn greetings, we decided to watch a movie - The Banquet starred by Zhang Ziyi. Loved it. Fell in love with it. Don't you just love the martial arts mixed with such ultimate grace? It was so refreshing to see people flying. And fighting. Flying and fighting at the same time. But of course, there's so much more than that. It's such done with great taste. I truly recommend it.
Well. On to my story.
Right after the movie, we decided to satisfy our tongues' urge for the Italian palate. Piadina became our witness for the conversation that became my eye-opener. Like me, She has gone thru a lot of risks. Risks that made her weigh her options and somehow choose the lesser evil. The lesser evil that would be more beneficial in dealing with life.
She mentioned her brother during our conversation over the quattro formagi (spell check, please), a thin-crust pizza made up of four kinds of cheese and carbonara on our table that somehow influenced her in a good way. She has made me realize things that are far more important and sort out my perspectives as well. I think it is my sole responsibility to impart that realization to you guys as these might help you go with the flow of life, and not go against it.
These are just some of the few good things to ponder:
1. Life is not all about career. Career is just a pseudo-goal most of us are preoccupied of. At twenty-something, we go thru the quarterly crisis. We compare ourselves to our peers and contemporaries, especially to those who became successful in their chosen careers, abruptly. You pity yourself for staying stagnant and become envious for people who seemed to be living their dreams.
What you must remember though is that God made plans for us. Plans that do not happen the same day or date your rival at school got his/her glory just as quick as exercising his/her knuckles.
WE DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT A CAREER IS. We were just laid with the possibilities, just like picking a trinket in that wide-stretched stalls in Divisoria. Options. Meaning ephemeral. Not lasting.
At most times, we get drowned thinking 'what-might-have-beens' or 'what-could-have-beens'. Our shoulda, woulda, couldas. Our aspirations in life. We were placed in awkward situations we never ever thought possible. We encounter people and friends. Colleagues and acquaintances. Friends and foes. All for a reason.
Don't be that person who has a career but never ever got to live a life he wanted. Be that person who lived the life he wanted and eventually got a career in the process. Look within yourself and contemplate. If you don't know the skills that you're good at, stop looking. Begin honing and treasuring each experience you pick up along the way. It's not all about the career, it's the process of getting there that makes the experience worthwhile.
2. Learn to appreciate the littlest things. Cherish each experience. Don't be such a haste.
Remember that an experience, no matter how sweet or bitter is worth every pain and joy. Cherish every heartache. Every smile. Every giggle. Appreciate that you have two legs and ten toes. Appreciate and embrace what makes you YOU. Discover and rediscover. Remember what Friedrich Nietzche (I think it was him, not sure though. :) ) had said, "that doesn't kill you makes you stronger".
Life is not always walking on the rainbow. It's not about discovering the pot of gold at the end of it. Sometimes, you have to work double as hard to unearth something to expose its true beauty. Like a heartbreak, it's a given. But still, one chooses to love. It's not anticipating the heartbreak, but picking up the shattered pieces and glueing them all together after. It's not the before. It's the after that's more important.
3. Let go. Letting go of something is somewhat the best exercise to be free. Be free from constrictions. Free yourself from pressure. From emotions that tire you. From thoughts that wear you out.
Letting go of a dream is achieving your dream. Events unravel themselves to your advantage. Leave everything to the Lord and loosen up. I am not saying to slack off and bum around like a sloth. But instead, make short-term goals instead of the long-term ones.
Live life as it unfolds itself. Live life one step at a time. The future is the uncertain. The uncertainty of life is what spices it up. Don't strip yourself from that, you owe yourself at least that.
Upon meeting, we had our usual exchanges - the common "how-are-you?", kisses, hugs and the eagerness to see a friend for ages. But not the things that 'friends with benefit' do, hell no!!!But it was nevertheless such a fun moment, like a saint on the verge of his epiphany.
And so, after our darn greetings, we decided to watch a movie - The Banquet starred by Zhang Ziyi. Loved it. Fell in love with it. Don't you just love the martial arts mixed with such ultimate grace? It was so refreshing to see people flying. And fighting. Flying and fighting at the same time. But of course, there's so much more than that. It's such done with great taste. I truly recommend it.
Well. On to my story.
Right after the movie, we decided to satisfy our tongues' urge for the Italian palate. Piadina became our witness for the conversation that became my eye-opener. Like me, She has gone thru a lot of risks. Risks that made her weigh her options and somehow choose the lesser evil. The lesser evil that would be more beneficial in dealing with life.
She mentioned her brother during our conversation over the quattro formagi (spell check, please), a thin-crust pizza made up of four kinds of cheese and carbonara on our table that somehow influenced her in a good way. She has made me realize things that are far more important and sort out my perspectives as well. I think it is my sole responsibility to impart that realization to you guys as these might help you go with the flow of life, and not go against it.
These are just some of the few good things to ponder:
1. Life is not all about career. Career is just a pseudo-goal most of us are preoccupied of. At twenty-something, we go thru the quarterly crisis. We compare ourselves to our peers and contemporaries, especially to those who became successful in their chosen careers, abruptly. You pity yourself for staying stagnant and become envious for people who seemed to be living their dreams.
What you must remember though is that God made plans for us. Plans that do not happen the same day or date your rival at school got his/her glory just as quick as exercising his/her knuckles.
WE DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT A CAREER IS. We were just laid with the possibilities, just like picking a trinket in that wide-stretched stalls in Divisoria. Options. Meaning ephemeral. Not lasting.
At most times, we get drowned thinking 'what-might-have-beens' or 'what-could-have-beens'. Our shoulda, woulda, couldas. Our aspirations in life. We were placed in awkward situations we never ever thought possible. We encounter people and friends. Colleagues and acquaintances. Friends and foes. All for a reason.
Don't be that person who has a career but never ever got to live a life he wanted. Be that person who lived the life he wanted and eventually got a career in the process. Look within yourself and contemplate. If you don't know the skills that you're good at, stop looking. Begin honing and treasuring each experience you pick up along the way. It's not all about the career, it's the process of getting there that makes the experience worthwhile.
2. Learn to appreciate the littlest things. Cherish each experience. Don't be such a haste.
Remember that an experience, no matter how sweet or bitter is worth every pain and joy. Cherish every heartache. Every smile. Every giggle. Appreciate that you have two legs and ten toes. Appreciate and embrace what makes you YOU. Discover and rediscover. Remember what Friedrich Nietzche (I think it was him, not sure though. :) ) had said, "that doesn't kill you makes you stronger".
Life is not always walking on the rainbow. It's not about discovering the pot of gold at the end of it. Sometimes, you have to work double as hard to unearth something to expose its true beauty. Like a heartbreak, it's a given. But still, one chooses to love. It's not anticipating the heartbreak, but picking up the shattered pieces and glueing them all together after. It's not the before. It's the after that's more important.
3. Let go. Letting go of something is somewhat the best exercise to be free. Be free from constrictions. Free yourself from pressure. From emotions that tire you. From thoughts that wear you out.
Letting go of a dream is achieving your dream. Events unravel themselves to your advantage. Leave everything to the Lord and loosen up. I am not saying to slack off and bum around like a sloth. But instead, make short-term goals instead of the long-term ones.
Live life as it unfolds itself. Live life one step at a time. The future is the uncertain. The uncertainty of life is what spices it up. Don't strip yourself from that, you owe yourself at least that.
Thursday, October 19, 2006
Pieces of Me
I was absent last night from work. I tried to get up and prepare to come to work but my body just could not endure such harrassment anymore.
The lack of sleep and the nocturnal lifestyle wore me down eventually.
The puffy eyes indicated that I am not invincibe after all.
The low blood pressure, emotional battery and mental shocks had visited my thoughts everyday, knowing that such a job with the so-so compensation would toll grave penalties.
I am but a candle lit with flame that flickers toward the direction of the wind. I am but the embers of the bonfire deeply buried into the sand for containment. Thus, a ripple that suddenly livens the water in the stillness of its serenity. I am but a wanderer during the day and a worker by night.
I am a creature that wanders. Whose thoughts fixates on inanimate thoughts and worthless ideas. A phoenix waiting to rise from the ashes. I am the warm breath that everybody covets. A star bragging its twinkle from the rest. A treasure waiting to be discovered from the test of antiquity.
I am no different from a diamond on the rough. The imperfections that define its perfection and beauty.
I am but me. I can offer no less or no more than who I am. Love me or hate me. It's just plain black and white.
Rawness defines me. I am the stain of blood that trickles in the sand. That endures time. That embodies tainted innocence.
The lack of sleep and the nocturnal lifestyle wore me down eventually.
The puffy eyes indicated that I am not invincibe after all.
The low blood pressure, emotional battery and mental shocks had visited my thoughts everyday, knowing that such a job with the so-so compensation would toll grave penalties.
I am but a candle lit with flame that flickers toward the direction of the wind. I am but the embers of the bonfire deeply buried into the sand for containment. Thus, a ripple that suddenly livens the water in the stillness of its serenity. I am but a wanderer during the day and a worker by night.
I am a creature that wanders. Whose thoughts fixates on inanimate thoughts and worthless ideas. A phoenix waiting to rise from the ashes. I am the warm breath that everybody covets. A star bragging its twinkle from the rest. A treasure waiting to be discovered from the test of antiquity.
I am no different from a diamond on the rough. The imperfections that define its perfection and beauty.
I am but me. I can offer no less or no more than who I am. Love me or hate me. It's just plain black and white.
Rawness defines me. I am the stain of blood that trickles in the sand. That endures time. That embodies tainted innocence.
Tuesday, October 17, 2006
TRAUMATIZED
I have not been enthusiastic enough to write interesting stuff lately primarily because I am undergoing a relatively deep and grave amount of trauma. A trauma that started from stress. Stress that was rooted from work. And it's painstakingly aggravating me, A LOT.
Recently, I found out that we have this perfomance action plan that reprimands people in the workplace, and that would be ME, US. People that have not reached and met one metric on the program - a satisfaction survey metric (a grade incurred from surveyed customers) would have a memo or a corrective action plan issued to them. A survey that is based and executed thru random sampling. That one metric that we have no control over. And we get reprimanded for it. For a survey. For a survey that we have no control of. A metric based on mere luck and timing.
AND GUESS WHAT, irate callers are so eager to fill out the surveys. To make matters worse, people that you have "helped" and considered you an "angel" never bother to fill the surveys out. Pathetic. So now, they give you some kind of a warning for something that you have NO control of.
Bottomline is, even if I perform well and pass all the metrics with flying colors and flunk that one metric which is actually the case, you're in for a big trouble. I got one already (Can you imagine? Double duh!), and this has been the first warning I have received and signed my entire life. Not just me actually, but most of us did. That just speaks a lot about that stupid thing. THAT that is NOT a valid criterion to measure or gauge one's performance. It's based on judgment. Unfair judgment. That's what's ticking me off real bad. You get this love letter from your Team Leader stating that if you don't comply and manage to leverage your game, you're out of the company. Meaning, Termination. FOR A SURVEY. FOR A SATISFACTION SURVEY. For a God damn survey that irate callers are so eager to fill out. And that would cause the termination of your employment. Sweet. So just and so becoming. Ew!
Considering the fact that we abide by the rules and procedures given to us by our superiors and the clients, we have no choice but to follow them. We do. At least I do, I strictly comply. In most cases, we get surveyed for calls concerning a policy or a procedure that customers are against with. And we are helpless. We get fried for something that we follow. For policies that could not be bent. Policies that we risk our asses off just so we can be reprimanded to result to termination.
(Typing with fingers pressed against the keyboard) (Translation - Annoyed)
What can I say? Need I say more? Injustice happens. I think, I would have to thank the people behind this brilliant idea. Without them, I would not have come to the realization that I am better appreciated in a program that actually recognizes me. WHICH is not this program.
(Sighs with desperation)
As frontliners in this business, we protect our client that we represent and the company that we work for. But neither is protecting us. We are always put on the spot. It disheartens me that there are no actions made to protect our interests. I guess I just have to wait and see what's gonna happen.
Just for the record, I am not the blonde stupid boy who doesn't know the difference of black and blue. I am not the male version of Paris Hilton.
-------------------------
Anybody can say whatever they want. This is what I am feeling now. I'm sure I share the same sentiments with others. I don't need assurance or whatever. So get lost. hehe.
Recently, I found out that we have this perfomance action plan that reprimands people in the workplace, and that would be ME, US. People that have not reached and met one metric on the program - a satisfaction survey metric (a grade incurred from surveyed customers) would have a memo or a corrective action plan issued to them. A survey that is based and executed thru random sampling. That one metric that we have no control over. And we get reprimanded for it. For a survey. For a survey that we have no control of. A metric based on mere luck and timing.
AND GUESS WHAT, irate callers are so eager to fill out the surveys. To make matters worse, people that you have "helped" and considered you an "angel" never bother to fill the surveys out. Pathetic. So now, they give you some kind of a warning for something that you have NO control of.
Bottomline is, even if I perform well and pass all the metrics with flying colors and flunk that one metric which is actually the case, you're in for a big trouble. I got one already (Can you imagine? Double duh!), and this has been the first warning I have received and signed my entire life. Not just me actually, but most of us did. That just speaks a lot about that stupid thing. THAT that is NOT a valid criterion to measure or gauge one's performance. It's based on judgment. Unfair judgment. That's what's ticking me off real bad. You get this love letter from your Team Leader stating that if you don't comply and manage to leverage your game, you're out of the company. Meaning, Termination. FOR A SURVEY. FOR A SATISFACTION SURVEY. For a God damn survey that irate callers are so eager to fill out. And that would cause the termination of your employment. Sweet. So just and so becoming. Ew!
Considering the fact that we abide by the rules and procedures given to us by our superiors and the clients, we have no choice but to follow them. We do. At least I do, I strictly comply. In most cases, we get surveyed for calls concerning a policy or a procedure that customers are against with. And we are helpless. We get fried for something that we follow. For policies that could not be bent. Policies that we risk our asses off just so we can be reprimanded to result to termination.
(Typing with fingers pressed against the keyboard) (Translation - Annoyed)
What can I say? Need I say more? Injustice happens. I think, I would have to thank the people behind this brilliant idea. Without them, I would not have come to the realization that I am better appreciated in a program that actually recognizes me. WHICH is not this program.
(Sighs with desperation)
As frontliners in this business, we protect our client that we represent and the company that we work for. But neither is protecting us. We are always put on the spot. It disheartens me that there are no actions made to protect our interests. I guess I just have to wait and see what's gonna happen.
Just for the record, I am not the blonde stupid boy who doesn't know the difference of black and blue. I am not the male version of Paris Hilton.
-------------------------
Anybody can say whatever they want. This is what I am feeling now. I'm sure I share the same sentiments with others. I don't need assurance or whatever. So get lost. hehe.
Wednesday, October 11, 2006
TIMES are HARD but...
I have contemplated and resorted to the idea that everybody strives to earn as much money as possible, especially in this era where money is all that makes the world revolve around its axis. So if you do not have the dough to pay for whatever service you can possibly render, then you're screwed.
Both services and commodities that vary from simple to complex need money to function. Horses and carabaos were replaced by wheeled-vehicles for transportation. The latest model of the car or an SUV, the better. Water that used to be free had been marked as the most profitable means for income production. Yes, you can still drink tap water. But do not expect to be all normal and jolly after that liquid intake. Consider yourself lucky if you're diarrhea-free after 24 hours which is not exactly always the case. If you are really, really unlucky you'll have amoeba swimming in your intestines as a bonus.
From simple kiosk to as grand as fine dining. From simple walking to full-tanked engines of four-wheeled vehicles, sometimes with two or three wheels. From simple and inexpensive sweet pleasures to lavish and money-driven activities. Massages that used to be free had been re-packaged to be as a profitable means to generate income and has been prevalent today hiding behind spas and lairs of leisure. Strategically stationed in mall promenades, blind people just seem to jump in the bandwagon as well. Capitalists have a haven for a used-to-be-free-relaxation to somewhat a luxurious activity for the rich and the famous. A peso could not even get us anywhere now, except for jueteng (a kind of gambling here in the brownass land Filipinas) and buying a local-made candy, I think.
Everything is being modified and molded to provide a better and money-driven society. But the question is, is it for our own betterment? Or is it just an indicator that we have managed to raise the bars even higher to satisfy our insatiable desires for things that can be bought by money? What happened to barter system and neighbor looking out for one another? What happened to us? What had made us monsters and money-whores?
Times are hard, yes. We need to look back and reflect on what had happened to us. Money may buy almost everything, but it should not be the reason for living.
Both services and commodities that vary from simple to complex need money to function. Horses and carabaos were replaced by wheeled-vehicles for transportation. The latest model of the car or an SUV, the better. Water that used to be free had been marked as the most profitable means for income production. Yes, you can still drink tap water. But do not expect to be all normal and jolly after that liquid intake. Consider yourself lucky if you're diarrhea-free after 24 hours which is not exactly always the case. If you are really, really unlucky you'll have amoeba swimming in your intestines as a bonus.
From simple kiosk to as grand as fine dining. From simple walking to full-tanked engines of four-wheeled vehicles, sometimes with two or three wheels. From simple and inexpensive sweet pleasures to lavish and money-driven activities. Massages that used to be free had been re-packaged to be as a profitable means to generate income and has been prevalent today hiding behind spas and lairs of leisure. Strategically stationed in mall promenades, blind people just seem to jump in the bandwagon as well. Capitalists have a haven for a used-to-be-free-relaxation to somewhat a luxurious activity for the rich and the famous. A peso could not even get us anywhere now, except for jueteng (a kind of gambling here in the brownass land Filipinas) and buying a local-made candy, I think.
Everything is being modified and molded to provide a better and money-driven society. But the question is, is it for our own betterment? Or is it just an indicator that we have managed to raise the bars even higher to satisfy our insatiable desires for things that can be bought by money? What happened to barter system and neighbor looking out for one another? What happened to us? What had made us monsters and money-whores?
Times are hard, yes. We need to look back and reflect on what had happened to us. Money may buy almost everything, but it should not be the reason for living.
Wednesday, October 04, 2006
A CONCERNED CITIZEN
Earlier this week, so much had been going around my head. I was planning to write about things that would NOT normally come out from my true self. Topics that spark for hope, love and dreams which I do NOT usually think of since I am so screwed up. (Kidding :) . I am SO PERFECT. I could not ask for something more. :) I just thank God I was created in a perfect mold, hihi.)
(Chuckles) I get deranged easily. My thought just flies by me whenever I don't take notes of them. So they're just like dust in wind. Just in limbo. I wonder when I can afford a laptop, a good one just so I can write down anything that comes to mind right after I had watched a good movie, while drinking a Venti Mocha frappucino at Starbucks or even in the stillness of the night where crickets hum and create some sick melody. I think that would be super.
I wanted to write something about what happened last week where a lot had been damaged due to that typhoon. Poor us. Trees were uprooted. Roofs were detached from the ceiling of houses. Billboard steel railing mounts were bent and crushed. We were a complete wreck. A lot had died. Some homeless in just a matter of hours. From bad, it became worse. And from worse to worst. And you know, I could have dwelled and expanded on this topic but I just had no time to even explain this in detail. Good thing I tried. And you get the picture. Words like uprooted, detached, bent, crushed, wreck and died pretty much say it all. It's just like giving a flyer in malls.
Besides, there was nothing much good fruition from that experience. Just homeless people, flooded homes and damaged structures. I think the only good thing were those politicians who came out again from their burrows to media-whore around! Assholes and Bitches! They really know when to step forward and be recognized. It's not like they would get my vote. Crazy and greedy suckers! Dream on!
(Chuckles) I get deranged easily. My thought just flies by me whenever I don't take notes of them. So they're just like dust in wind. Just in limbo. I wonder when I can afford a laptop, a good one just so I can write down anything that comes to mind right after I had watched a good movie, while drinking a Venti Mocha frappucino at Starbucks or even in the stillness of the night where crickets hum and create some sick melody. I think that would be super.
I wanted to write something about what happened last week where a lot had been damaged due to that typhoon. Poor us. Trees were uprooted. Roofs were detached from the ceiling of houses. Billboard steel railing mounts were bent and crushed. We were a complete wreck. A lot had died. Some homeless in just a matter of hours. From bad, it became worse. And from worse to worst. And you know, I could have dwelled and expanded on this topic but I just had no time to even explain this in detail. Good thing I tried. And you get the picture. Words like uprooted, detached, bent, crushed, wreck and died pretty much say it all. It's just like giving a flyer in malls.
Besides, there was nothing much good fruition from that experience. Just homeless people, flooded homes and damaged structures. I think the only good thing were those politicians who came out again from their burrows to media-whore around! Assholes and Bitches! They really know when to step forward and be recognized. It's not like they would get my vote. Crazy and greedy suckers! Dream on!
Tuesday, October 03, 2006
PROWLER
People are leaving, FAST. I don't know what it is or what lies beneath this oh-so-nice program of ours but people just seem to come and GO (all in caps). People just can't seem to get enough of this.
What are they complaining about? I see no problem with this program (dumbfounded), or maybe I am just overlooking it. I can't deny the fact that people are somewhat suffocated. Some had expressed such disdain to the account. Some who have the courage to endure such disdain serve the thirty-day-notice. Some who just can't stomach the run-arounds just disappear like a bursted bubble in the air. And to others that remain are just waiting for the right moment to express "issues", so to speak like a scorned woman waiting for revenge.
And you know what, I don't know. Maybe I am just naive or something. I somewhat do not feel such pressure in the air. Maybe I am just new in the account and I just haven't experienced such "hmmmf-ness" or encounter any adversaries along the way. There is definitely a little bit icky-ness about some things that I am not comfortable in sharing. Sorry guys. :) But nothing grave, really. Just a little bit of this and that.
I am not numb. I just prowl and watch over for now. I am new. So there's that prowling that I need to do. Yeah, just prowl. Otherwise, I'd be trapped in a quicksand like an innocent and careless low-life unimportant being on top of the earth. I wouldn't want that to happen. Afterall, my curly hair is slowly growing little by little. And I am loving it.
What are they complaining about? I see no problem with this program (dumbfounded), or maybe I am just overlooking it. I can't deny the fact that people are somewhat suffocated. Some had expressed such disdain to the account. Some who have the courage to endure such disdain serve the thirty-day-notice. Some who just can't stomach the run-arounds just disappear like a bursted bubble in the air. And to others that remain are just waiting for the right moment to express "issues", so to speak like a scorned woman waiting for revenge.
And you know what, I don't know. Maybe I am just naive or something. I somewhat do not feel such pressure in the air. Maybe I am just new in the account and I just haven't experienced such "hmmmf-ness" or encounter any adversaries along the way. There is definitely a little bit icky-ness about some things that I am not comfortable in sharing. Sorry guys. :) But nothing grave, really. Just a little bit of this and that.
I am not numb. I just prowl and watch over for now. I am new. So there's that prowling that I need to do. Yeah, just prowl. Otherwise, I'd be trapped in a quicksand like an innocent and careless low-life unimportant being on top of the earth. I wouldn't want that to happen. Afterall, my curly hair is slowly growing little by little. And I am loving it.
Friday, September 29, 2006
SABBATICAL
Maybe a lot (?) of my readers are wondering why I have not posted a single new entry for the entire week. One word for you guys - BUSY. What a week that was!
I have not even tried to open a blog site to post something on the net. It has been ages ago already, I know AND DON'T MOCK ME BITCHES!!! It's not going to help.
Hmmmmm. How can I explain this. Well, it's like this. I know that I have been busy the entire week. That's a given. But I don't even remember the things that I got busy with. Even how hard I try to twitch my brows and crease my lines on my forehead, nothing just would pop up on the top of my head. Maybe it was just a way of my oh-so-brilliant head to forget things that are not pleasant, therefore, emulating a burial ceremony in the deepest, darkest part of my virgin soul for a memory not worth keeping.
Wow, I like the sound of it. Let me repeat that. Maybe it was just a way of my oh-so-brilliant head to forget things that are not pleasant, therefore, emulating a burial ceremony in the deepest, darkest part of my virgin soul for a memory not worth keeping. Oh gees, I am hallucinating now. I need to end this nonsense and get some sleep because this is absolutely going nowhere.
I want to recharge my brain. Sabbatical is what I think is the perfect adjective for it. Or maybe that was exactly what I did. Or so I thought. I need to meditate and sort out my priorities. I need some real inspiration, not the kind that you see in the pages of a porn magazine. Thank you very much.
Friday, September 22, 2006
VICTIM
I do not know if I am just plain unlucky or I carry this curse in job applications and job interviews. I got an email just this week about a job vacancy that I thought was cool and was very reputable, from JobsDB.com. It was an Advertising Copyright Specialist. For one, it sounded like a royalty. It was something that I would love to do.
I checked the website and tried to further research about the company details. For a while there I thought it was very promising, and I was enamoured by it. So silly me applied for the job vacancy online.
After just a few days, I got a call from one of the HR personnel and was invited for a job interview. And of course, (like I said before) as a common courtesy, I confirmed my appointment. No matter how hard it was to wake up and prepare two hours early before work, I showed up. The least that they could do was to have the decency to show up and be professional enough to come up to me and give me the time I deserved.
Waiting was the name of the game. So I did. Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock. And bam. There was a lady in blue uniform approaching me whom I thought was from the janitorial services. (Oooops) She was telling me her boss was in a meeting and she was informed to do the interview. I said fine. Whatever works for you. And there I was, in their receiving area with people coming in and out being interviewed in one of the coffee-bean-like chairs. OUT IN THE OPEN. NOT in the conference room. But in a common area. Where people are. Period.
The interview lasted for a few minutes. Shorter than expected. Lousier than anything bad combined. No comparison to any of the interviews I have had. And that was it. It all happened in their common area. It will all end there. I would never go back to that pit again. Ever.
*****
Lesson learned : Not all pretty women are women. Some are homos. Some are lesbos. Some are just pretty men but not homos. So relate that to this experience.
I checked the website and tried to further research about the company details. For a while there I thought it was very promising, and I was enamoured by it. So silly me applied for the job vacancy online.
After just a few days, I got a call from one of the HR personnel and was invited for a job interview. And of course, (like I said before) as a common courtesy, I confirmed my appointment. No matter how hard it was to wake up and prepare two hours early before work, I showed up. The least that they could do was to have the decency to show up and be professional enough to come up to me and give me the time I deserved.
Waiting was the name of the game. So I did. Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock. And bam. There was a lady in blue uniform approaching me whom I thought was from the janitorial services. (Oooops) She was telling me her boss was in a meeting and she was informed to do the interview. I said fine. Whatever works for you. And there I was, in their receiving area with people coming in and out being interviewed in one of the coffee-bean-like chairs. OUT IN THE OPEN. NOT in the conference room. But in a common area. Where people are. Period.
The interview lasted for a few minutes. Shorter than expected. Lousier than anything bad combined. No comparison to any of the interviews I have had. And that was it. It all happened in their common area. It will all end there. I would never go back to that pit again. Ever.
*****
Lesson learned : Not all pretty women are women. Some are homos. Some are lesbos. Some are just pretty men but not homos. So relate that to this experience.
Thursday, September 21, 2006
The sound of the phone ringing, music to my ears.
I have not had much sleep today. When I got home this morning with my Max' one whole chicken to go order, I had my meal "microwaved" just so I can have my breakfast meal the soonest possible time. I work from nine to eight. It's from pm to am. Not the other way around. AND IT'S TIRING. So you can imagine how my life is during the day. And you get my point.
Right after my meal, I washed my face, had my teeth brushed and prepared my bed a.k.a couch in the living room since there is a huge possibility that I won't get up if I sleep in my room, for a well-deserved peace and quiet time after a hard night's work (emphasis on the night word, please). I always leave the TV on and program it to turn off after thirty minutes. It is somewhat my lullaby now lately.
So there I was on the couch, enjoying my serene and tranquil moment when the phone rang that disrupted the only thing that makes me happy these days - sleeping. One ring. Completely ignored it. Second ring. Didn't mind it. And then on the third and the nth ring, I was pretty much all grim and ready to pull the phone cords out of the wall. Thankfully, the caller somewhat felt that it was pointless since nobody was answering. Literal translation, nobody's home!!! That should deliver the message. But no! After some hours, the phone rang again. And this is no joke. I was sleeping. And sleeping = me happy. It's like seeing a dancing banana man mascot to Shakira's Hips Don't Lie song. But no! I got interrupted again. This better be a real call for me and not some silly prank or a nobody dialling the wrong number. Otherwise, I would totally wreck the couch.
Thank God, it was for me. But still I was unhappy. Sleeping = me happy. This disrupted my sleep and since I was up already, might as well answer the damn thing. The call was for me indeed and some freaky man answered the call. He was looking for me. It was me who answered the phone. I confirmed my identity. But still, he was looking for me. Or maybe I just sounded so gorgeous over the phone with my bedroom voice. Still, how much does it take to actually buy a brain in black market these days?
After a few minutes of conversation, the turmoil has subsided. Or so I thought. I then again got a phone call from my sister inviting me to do the grocery with her because she got this eerie feeling that it was my off again. And guess what, not gonna happen. I don't run the company. I work for it.
The next thing I heard was my cellphone alarming. I didn't wake up. Logical reason, not much sleep. I have been bugged so many times the least it could do was shut up and let me be. I was planning to not go to work but due to my golden heart and dedication to my job (loser, I know) I went for work.
Here I am, palpitating and the only thing that keeps me awake is friendster. Getting thru the day with so much caffeine in my system. My heart doing overtime. With eyebags circling my oh-so-perfect black eyes and curly lashes. Good thing I look good today. Better than usual. Perfect like a god. (Giggles)
(Smiles) (And giggles again) ...
Right after my meal, I washed my face, had my teeth brushed and prepared my bed a.k.a couch in the living room since there is a huge possibility that I won't get up if I sleep in my room, for a well-deserved peace and quiet time after a hard night's work (emphasis on the night word, please). I always leave the TV on and program it to turn off after thirty minutes. It is somewhat my lullaby now lately.
So there I was on the couch, enjoying my serene and tranquil moment when the phone rang that disrupted the only thing that makes me happy these days - sleeping. One ring. Completely ignored it. Second ring. Didn't mind it. And then on the third and the nth ring, I was pretty much all grim and ready to pull the phone cords out of the wall. Thankfully, the caller somewhat felt that it was pointless since nobody was answering. Literal translation, nobody's home!!! That should deliver the message. But no! After some hours, the phone rang again. And this is no joke. I was sleeping. And sleeping = me happy. It's like seeing a dancing banana man mascot to Shakira's Hips Don't Lie song. But no! I got interrupted again. This better be a real call for me and not some silly prank or a nobody dialling the wrong number. Otherwise, I would totally wreck the couch.
Thank God, it was for me. But still I was unhappy. Sleeping = me happy. This disrupted my sleep and since I was up already, might as well answer the damn thing. The call was for me indeed and some freaky man answered the call. He was looking for me. It was me who answered the phone. I confirmed my identity. But still, he was looking for me. Or maybe I just sounded so gorgeous over the phone with my bedroom voice. Still, how much does it take to actually buy a brain in black market these days?
After a few minutes of conversation, the turmoil has subsided. Or so I thought. I then again got a phone call from my sister inviting me to do the grocery with her because she got this eerie feeling that it was my off again. And guess what, not gonna happen. I don't run the company. I work for it.
The next thing I heard was my cellphone alarming. I didn't wake up. Logical reason, not much sleep. I have been bugged so many times the least it could do was shut up and let me be. I was planning to not go to work but due to my golden heart and dedication to my job (loser, I know) I went for work.
Here I am, palpitating and the only thing that keeps me awake is friendster. Getting thru the day with so much caffeine in my system. My heart doing overtime. With eyebags circling my oh-so-perfect black eyes and curly lashes. Good thing I look good today. Better than usual. Perfect like a god. (Giggles)
(Smiles) (And giggles again) ...
Wednesday, September 20, 2006
VIP Ticket to Hell
Working in the call center industry is like working for Satan's father. First, they'll lure you with money. Then, they bombard you with phone calls. And after that, you'd be dead for phone calls right before you know it.
Call center is fun. Yeah. For the first few months. It's fun when you seldom get irate calls from people you don't even know. Solve their problem everyday. And the least that they could do is say "thank you" which they find difficult to say. Talk about etiquette.
Come to think of it, the pay is very well worth it for the job that we do. Nobody has ever been paid this less as "Professional Shock Absorbers". The last time I checked, psychologists and psychiatrists are paid by the hour and are paid real money by just talking to their patients, big time. I never ever looked at it that way. Oh gosh, we are so lucky (in monotone). Then sighs. Yipee! (Again, in monotone).
AND OH MY GOD, our benefits. I can't wait to talk about them...
Since we, people are considered to be the highest paid individuals for an entry-level position, we are the targets of the hungry, deranged and money hooker predators who hide in the likes of robbers, snatchers and crazy bad-ass out there. People that like to leech and not flex a muscle since they find it more tedious than just plain terrorizing and targeting the poor, the nocturnal and the sleep-hungry "us" for money. And what do they give us in return? Well, NIGHT DIFFERENTIAL that ranges from 10%-30% of your salary. And that's just like saying, Come to work and I'll give you a lollipop! So rewarding. That makes me come to work eagerly everyday, risk my life, weather the storm and fingers crossed, not end up dead in a dark nook in some cheap alleyway. And not to mention the transporation allowance and the meal allowance to make up for the shortcomings of the job. That makes me feeeel so important.
Hospitalization is included, too since there's a higher risk of being stabbed, ran over and being admitted in ICU. But for just P100, 000, why not, huh? Some companies have higher medical insurances. It just depends. But for us, it's just a hundred gran and if you're lucky, the services are reimbursable.
In the call center industry, culture is another thing. It seems that it has a life of its own. It just continues to grow and evolve into something that has this huge impact to the ciruit of people in the business. You'd learn to smoke cigarettes. First, a stick til you reach your one pack per day limit. But of course, I am not speaking for myself. I am speaking for the majority. Smoking while hanging out in Starbucks. Spending all the money, money for multiple coffee breaks to keep the eyes open for the day, or the entire night.
Talk about sex-hungry people as well. Married men act as single men and as for women, mmmn, yeah they do the same. At least some of them. It starts with flirting. Oh yes, flirting is the name. Sex is the game. They act as if casual sex is just like eating pancakes in the morning. A part of a daily regimen, like brushing the teeth and peeing. Maybe because of deprivation. Also because of the smothering testosterone and estrogen level in the air. You know men. Men like to mark their territories - rubbing their pheromones all around the globe. No wonder Darwin concluded that we came from apes. Sex hungry apes, polygamous animals. Sheesh.
I hate to spoil your smiles and your laughs while reading this blog entry since I know a lot of you relate to this one way or the other. Whether you admit it or not. You know who you are. I guess the point is, we have to deal with toxic bosses everyday, the evolution of culture and the vicious lifestyle. I think the survival tip is just knowing where you stand so you won't get consumed by it. Otherwise, you'll be earning a VIP Ticket to hell just like that.
Call center is fun. Yeah. For the first few months. It's fun when you seldom get irate calls from people you don't even know. Solve their problem everyday. And the least that they could do is say "thank you" which they find difficult to say. Talk about etiquette.
Come to think of it, the pay is very well worth it for the job that we do. Nobody has ever been paid this less as "Professional Shock Absorbers". The last time I checked, psychologists and psychiatrists are paid by the hour and are paid real money by just talking to their patients, big time. I never ever looked at it that way. Oh gosh, we are so lucky (in monotone). Then sighs. Yipee! (Again, in monotone).
AND OH MY GOD, our benefits. I can't wait to talk about them...
Since we, people are considered to be the highest paid individuals for an entry-level position, we are the targets of the hungry, deranged and money hooker predators who hide in the likes of robbers, snatchers and crazy bad-ass out there. People that like to leech and not flex a muscle since they find it more tedious than just plain terrorizing and targeting the poor, the nocturnal and the sleep-hungry "us" for money. And what do they give us in return? Well, NIGHT DIFFERENTIAL that ranges from 10%-30% of your salary. And that's just like saying, Come to work and I'll give you a lollipop! So rewarding. That makes me come to work eagerly everyday, risk my life, weather the storm and fingers crossed, not end up dead in a dark nook in some cheap alleyway. And not to mention the transporation allowance and the meal allowance to make up for the shortcomings of the job. That makes me feeeel so important.
Hospitalization is included, too since there's a higher risk of being stabbed, ran over and being admitted in ICU. But for just P100, 000, why not, huh? Some companies have higher medical insurances. It just depends. But for us, it's just a hundred gran and if you're lucky, the services are reimbursable.
In the call center industry, culture is another thing. It seems that it has a life of its own. It just continues to grow and evolve into something that has this huge impact to the ciruit of people in the business. You'd learn to smoke cigarettes. First, a stick til you reach your one pack per day limit. But of course, I am not speaking for myself. I am speaking for the majority. Smoking while hanging out in Starbucks. Spending all the money, money for multiple coffee breaks to keep the eyes open for the day, or the entire night.
Talk about sex-hungry people as well. Married men act as single men and as for women, mmmn, yeah they do the same. At least some of them. It starts with flirting. Oh yes, flirting is the name. Sex is the game. They act as if casual sex is just like eating pancakes in the morning. A part of a daily regimen, like brushing the teeth and peeing. Maybe because of deprivation. Also because of the smothering testosterone and estrogen level in the air. You know men. Men like to mark their territories - rubbing their pheromones all around the globe. No wonder Darwin concluded that we came from apes. Sex hungry apes, polygamous animals. Sheesh.
I hate to spoil your smiles and your laughs while reading this blog entry since I know a lot of you relate to this one way or the other. Whether you admit it or not. You know who you are. I guess the point is, we have to deal with toxic bosses everyday, the evolution of culture and the vicious lifestyle. I think the survival tip is just knowing where you stand so you won't get consumed by it. Otherwise, you'll be earning a VIP Ticket to hell just like that.
WRITERS
My friend used to say, "If you're creative enough, you can absolutely write anything under the sun". All the while I happenned to believe that friend of mine, until I realize that not everyday is sunshine day, especially if you're in Alaska. And I find it hard to believe - the things that my friend is telling me since THAT friend is ME. Weird. I know. Narcissistic even to some point. But I can't help it. I SO LOVE MYSELF.
So let me start again. I used to say, "If you're creative enough, you can absolutely write anything under the sun". All the while I happenned to believe myself, until I realize that not everyday is sunshine day. (Psycho, I know. But just play along) Well, there maybe a gazillion topics to write about - all good things about myself (ahem!!!), a lot of people to lambaste, the putrid smell of the slums, the oil spill in Guimaras, the fashion slips of stars and co-workers and the list goes on, but there are just quite a few topics that just run in your head worthy of your writing.
There are frustrating times when you try your best to squeeze and juice out creative juices from your oh-so-precious brain cells. But no matter how hard you make an effort to write a sentence, it just won't come out right. It just won't come out with substance.
Writers to some extent in their lives reach their saturation point. And in order to be reincarnated, they needed to go sabbatical to refresh their so-called imagination and feel the urge to write again like a sweet child who just discovered the wonders of porn and masturbation. And gees, I ryhmed. Imagination and masturbation. Nice.
And since I don't consider myself a writer (or am I?) and somebody that DOES not write novels and short stories, I therefore conclude that it would be impossible to run out of ideas. I hope. There maybe times that I feel so lazy writing something at home since my PC is like the rendez-vous of 900-something trojan viruses - all kinds of it. I so need a laptop. But up til such time comes when I can afford it, I have to make do using our company's PC, hihihi. What do you have to say about that, huh?
So let me start again. I used to say, "If you're creative enough, you can absolutely write anything under the sun". All the while I happenned to believe myself, until I realize that not everyday is sunshine day. (Psycho, I know. But just play along) Well, there maybe a gazillion topics to write about - all good things about myself (ahem!!!), a lot of people to lambaste, the putrid smell of the slums, the oil spill in Guimaras, the fashion slips of stars and co-workers and the list goes on, but there are just quite a few topics that just run in your head worthy of your writing.
There are frustrating times when you try your best to squeeze and juice out creative juices from your oh-so-precious brain cells. But no matter how hard you make an effort to write a sentence, it just won't come out right. It just won't come out with substance.
Writers to some extent in their lives reach their saturation point. And in order to be reincarnated, they needed to go sabbatical to refresh their so-called imagination and feel the urge to write again like a sweet child who just discovered the wonders of porn and masturbation. And gees, I ryhmed. Imagination and masturbation. Nice.
And since I don't consider myself a writer (or am I?) and somebody that DOES not write novels and short stories, I therefore conclude that it would be impossible to run out of ideas. I hope. There maybe times that I feel so lazy writing something at home since my PC is like the rendez-vous of 900-something trojan viruses - all kinds of it. I so need a laptop. But up til such time comes when I can afford it, I have to make do using our company's PC, hihihi. What do you have to say about that, huh?
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