Looks Is No More

When I was a little younger, I have always looked at the physical side of things. For a possible relationship, I tended to gear towards what others and I would say beautiful. Nice porcelain complexion, blue eyes/green eyes/brown eyes but not squinted, model-like features and the rest I left with total embodiment of a God. For things that I want, it still remains the same. I still gauge the things that I buy with the short-lived and most cliche standards of beauty. Of what I think is beautiful.

Looks was what made me swoon over this person. And during the course of the hopeful loving, sour experience of being heartbroken and thanks to that person who invented the words moving on, it's all plain history. I was just telling Marky how I was able to move on already and how funny it was that I only feel a little tingling love sensation to this naive person now. And that was a few days ago.

It is ironic because this heartbreaker I meet everyday in the office. Every second I tended to feel the sparks and the giddy feeling when I see him and when I talk to him. Funny how I was forced to move on. It wasn't the three-month-moving-on rule. It was way more than that. But anyhow, I moved on. And I can honestly and completely say that I have this time around.

I met the heartbreaker again at the gym last night. Did the usual his and hellos just like in the office but with a hug this time. With a big strong hug. With a smothering hey pal hug. And guess what. No feeling. Zilch. Zapped. Na-da anymore. The feeling that used to make me smile over my head is now something that I consider relevant to my existence to transcend into a new me.

I guess what I am trying to point out is I used to rely so much on beauty. And believe me, standards of beauty can be practiced so much in the gym where all walks of life try to exude that beauty that they thought they have. And you can feast your eyes on those sculpted bodies with Godly features, faces whom you wish did not have bodies and those bodies who need not have heads because of the not-so-desirable features.

After a while, you would get used to it and realize that hey, these people look for the same people as themselves and God knows how narcissistic that is. But they still look for it. If not better and more good looking. After observing these people (me not included as I am the observer, hihihi), these hopefuls are actually looking for heartbreaks.

Looks is not the very foundation of relationship. It's bound to fail. Don't get me wrong. Beautiful people make my head turns and go for a second look. But thats all there is to it. I have learned my lesson. The hard way.

I just don't know if what I wrote is true or if it has something to hold it together. What the heck. That's why it's called blogging. So I can blur it out.