Today is such a lame day. Today is the official start of my weekend and my friends are just not in the mood to go out and have a good time!!! Do they ever know what nightlife is like? All my friends are nowhere to be found. They're either in their state of hibernation (sleepyheads!!!) or God knows what they're doing... Partypoopers!!!
Damn it... I am so bored to death. I have pratically watched all day. Scanned channels and what's worse is there is nothing interesting to watch. Can just anyone shoot me in the head to end my misery?
I practically utilized all my options and done everything from my to-do list. Watched tv while having my lunch, check. Prepared my laundry for later, check. Thought of my crush, check. Checked my email, done. Talked with strangers through Yahoo Messenger, done... And now here I am in front of my old PC, updating my blog and writing all this non-sense blah, blahs.
(Sighs) Now that I am stuck at home, done watching all my favorite koreanovelas, I don't know what to do next. I just have to make do with what I have. Hmmm, since I am all alone I can watch porn all night and jack-off til my privies sore. But I am not going to do that. That is not very becoming, people might think I am some sick virgin gone delirious because of zero sexual encounters. But come to think of it, that's not a pretty bad idea afterall. Haha! Kidding! There's no fun in that either! :)
Saturday, June 17, 2006
Wednesday, June 14, 2006
Buffet a la PIMP-les!
Just when I thought I have outsmarted puberty that it suddenly visits me again out of nowhere. Don't you hate that curly hair growing on your legs until they become public pubic hair everytime you wear those shorts? Don't you just abhor that soft and silky skin turned into some grim and dark mudpit you get from exposure mostly from the sun? Don't you just LOVE your armpits growing those vicious hair that get wet whenever you perspire? Don't you LOVE them?
Well there are certain things that I liked transforming from a little boy to a guy, a term they call puberty, which by the way is confusing since I think there's just little relevance to the word compared to transformation of the body. For one, it made me a LOT taller that I was before. From the first to the middle in line is not a bad improvement at all. And that's because of puberty, too. Had I known masturbation is encouraged to boost your height at an early age, I would have done so in the past in my early years. What's there to lose than an excess teaspon of immature, sticky semen? Height is everything. Semen can be reproduced hard core by the two hardworking balls especially when horny.
Puberty also causes hormonal changes. Kids my age who used to have the soprano and operatic suddenly got stuck with the heavy, deep tenor vocals. And as for me, I got stuck with the pitchy and loud voice because of genetics. Bone structures change as well. Guys become more mascular, girls become more feminine. Girls start to go thru menstruation, and as for guys, they learn to sneak and crawl to their father's lair of porn, dirty and nude magazines with male and/or female bodies to pleasure themselves, hahaha!
But apart from all of these, what I hate most about this silly metamorphosis are those little and sometimes volcano crater-like zits that don't seem to stop from growing in the face, back and everywhere. Ladies and gentlemen, let me introduce to you the worst and my archenemy - buffet a la PIMP-les!!!
Pimples are like your enemies, they sometimes treat you nice and good. But once you diss them off and argue with them, the sudden ungodly inflammation and wrath of these tiny mother fuckers would just grow from your hair follicles til they become gigantic life-forms! They would fill your face up with zits and pus til there is no room for confidence! And they get the best of you. And after these crazy mother fuckers subsided, these scars would be left to scorn you for life! Just like your enemies.
Yes it's part of puberty, the good and the bad to balance it. But the truth of the matter is, I AM NOT transforming anymore. I AM DONE WITH PUBERTY! And still these tiny little lumps filled with bacteria just won't leave me alone. Sometimes, they let me be for a few days but these tiny, deadly and unmerciful zits just retaliate again, not just one or two but in groups. And boy they like to cuddle in one exact area, giving you a one big red bump and lump that looks like a burrow of an anthill or a cocoon. Fuck!
I have tried absolutely everything. From ointments to going to top notch dermatologists for facials and treatments. Thanks to Dra. Vicki Belo it made my skin a lot better. Thanks to that Vitamin A overdose intake that almost got me broke and scared of cholesterol as this medication does something from the inside to screw your gland secretion. It made my skin better but still, I have them, not in throngs but only mild breakouts this time. What can I do, I have an oily skin, my skin secretes too much oil that mainly causes my break-outs mixed with the worst environmental conditions in the country. Anyhow, thanks to my oily skin as well it makes rejuvenation and my youth intact, hihihi!!! I am still lucky...
I must admit it brings you down and it wrecks your self-confidence, it's true. BIGTIME! But all of you suffering or had suffered and still choose to live unnoticed, consider yourselves lucky and beautiful. Channel that negativity into something else and rediscover yourself. Focus on what you can become and not what you are at the moment. Great gifts are wrapped simple, sometimes even undesirable to conceal it's worth. Caterpillars are given the chance to become butterflies. And you, what more!
After all, beauty is just skin-deep. But it's important to be comfortable in your own skin, too with or without the Buffet a la PIMP-les!!!
Well there are certain things that I liked transforming from a little boy to a guy, a term they call puberty, which by the way is confusing since I think there's just little relevance to the word compared to transformation of the body. For one, it made me a LOT taller that I was before. From the first to the middle in line is not a bad improvement at all. And that's because of puberty, too. Had I known masturbation is encouraged to boost your height at an early age, I would have done so in the past in my early years. What's there to lose than an excess teaspon of immature, sticky semen? Height is everything. Semen can be reproduced hard core by the two hardworking balls especially when horny.
Puberty also causes hormonal changes. Kids my age who used to have the soprano and operatic suddenly got stuck with the heavy, deep tenor vocals. And as for me, I got stuck with the pitchy and loud voice because of genetics. Bone structures change as well. Guys become more mascular, girls become more feminine. Girls start to go thru menstruation, and as for guys, they learn to sneak and crawl to their father's lair of porn, dirty and nude magazines with male and/or female bodies to pleasure themselves, hahaha!
But apart from all of these, what I hate most about this silly metamorphosis are those little and sometimes volcano crater-like zits that don't seem to stop from growing in the face, back and everywhere. Ladies and gentlemen, let me introduce to you the worst and my archenemy - buffet a la PIMP-les!!!
Pimples are like your enemies, they sometimes treat you nice and good. But once you diss them off and argue with them, the sudden ungodly inflammation and wrath of these tiny mother fuckers would just grow from your hair follicles til they become gigantic life-forms! They would fill your face up with zits and pus til there is no room for confidence! And they get the best of you. And after these crazy mother fuckers subsided, these scars would be left to scorn you for life! Just like your enemies.
Yes it's part of puberty, the good and the bad to balance it. But the truth of the matter is, I AM NOT transforming anymore. I AM DONE WITH PUBERTY! And still these tiny little lumps filled with bacteria just won't leave me alone. Sometimes, they let me be for a few days but these tiny, deadly and unmerciful zits just retaliate again, not just one or two but in groups. And boy they like to cuddle in one exact area, giving you a one big red bump and lump that looks like a burrow of an anthill or a cocoon. Fuck!
I have tried absolutely everything. From ointments to going to top notch dermatologists for facials and treatments. Thanks to Dra. Vicki Belo it made my skin a lot better. Thanks to that Vitamin A overdose intake that almost got me broke and scared of cholesterol as this medication does something from the inside to screw your gland secretion. It made my skin better but still, I have them, not in throngs but only mild breakouts this time. What can I do, I have an oily skin, my skin secretes too much oil that mainly causes my break-outs mixed with the worst environmental conditions in the country. Anyhow, thanks to my oily skin as well it makes rejuvenation and my youth intact, hihihi!!! I am still lucky...
I must admit it brings you down and it wrecks your self-confidence, it's true. BIGTIME! But all of you suffering or had suffered and still choose to live unnoticed, consider yourselves lucky and beautiful. Channel that negativity into something else and rediscover yourself. Focus on what you can become and not what you are at the moment. Great gifts are wrapped simple, sometimes even undesirable to conceal it's worth. Caterpillars are given the chance to become butterflies. And you, what more!
After all, beauty is just skin-deep. But it's important to be comfortable in your own skin, too with or without the Buffet a la PIMP-les!!!
Thursday, June 08, 2006
A Fallen Leaf
I am as good as a leaf that has fallen from a tree. I am no special.
God created me like everyone else. As normal as I can be. I am physically endowed, pretty much the same as everybody else. I have eyes, arms, legs, feet, a heart and a brain just like most of us. In that case, I am no special.
I am dissed off at times. Worse, Maltreated. I maltreat someone, too. I am misjudged. I also misjudged people. I have lustful dreams, and a few times, nightmares. I am just like you.
I am no different physically. But in the outside, I am a totally different package. I maybe Asian, termed by most by the uncivilized as a brown monkey but I am no different than a Caucasian, European or African guy.
I am unique in different ways. I think, unlike most males who use testosterone for judgment. I act according to my will. If you think you know me, you better think again. You are in for a surprise of your life.
A leaf, once fallen from a tree goes places. Once airborne, it can even reach the skies and kiss the clouds.
God created me like everyone else. As normal as I can be. I am physically endowed, pretty much the same as everybody else. I have eyes, arms, legs, feet, a heart and a brain just like most of us. In that case, I am no special.
I am dissed off at times. Worse, Maltreated. I maltreat someone, too. I am misjudged. I also misjudged people. I have lustful dreams, and a few times, nightmares. I am just like you.
I am no different physically. But in the outside, I am a totally different package. I maybe Asian, termed by most by the uncivilized as a brown monkey but I am no different than a Caucasian, European or African guy.
I am unique in different ways. I think, unlike most males who use testosterone for judgment. I act according to my will. If you think you know me, you better think again. You are in for a surprise of your life.
A leaf, once fallen from a tree goes places. Once airborne, it can even reach the skies and kiss the clouds.
Sex and Something more
It never fails to entertain me whenever I think about sex. The word sex, the three-letter word that seems to mean a lot of things is just so amazing. Who would forget the burning sensation of capital S-E-X in the verge of bursting and exchanging bodily fluids between you and your partner, ahem! basing this thru the books that I read and not-so-dirty mags that I pick up every once in a while of course. (And pls, don't ever think that it came from a personal experience. I am not a classless asshole bitch, at least not yet. Haha!) Who would forget that aggressive couple who all of a sudden are parents because the guy just was so caught up in passion he forgot to put a condom on and suddenly impregnated his girlfriend. Who would forget that one crazy little boy who tried to rape his playmate just because he wanted to put his small dick in that little girl's skirt all for the sake of fun. Who would forget that married man who all of a sudden was cock-less because he was caught cheating by his wife. Geez, how does he even piss? Well, the list just goes on and on. And all of these because of this three simple letters, S, e and x.
Sex is a feeling. In fact, a burning sensation. Who would not want to experience that? Even Catholic priests and nuns could not contain that sudden urge of "mmmfff" feeling. Sometimes, that vow of celibacy would just have to be set aside. Who are we to blame them. They are after all humans with cocks and pussies. All after sex.
As with my case, there would always come a time that I think of it. Sometimes if not most of the time, even more. From a virgin's point of view, yes my friends, I AM, (Get over it!) it's so ideal. We always like to picture sex in some lucid and surreal dimension. No hassles, just pure satisfaction. No diseases, no ungodly misconduct but ungodly things and all for the sake of pure sex.
But the things is, everytime I think and I tell myself I want to do it, that's just the time that I back out. So many things pop in my head. The "what-ifs", "how-abouts" and "in-case" phrases just keep on going forever. There was this one time that I wanted to have sex and one step closer of doing it, it just gave me butterflies in my stomach. There goes the "what-ifs" etc. again. What if my sexual partner isn't safe? What if we want it unprotected? Will I end up one day in a hospital with a needle stuck in my right hand, having myself treated from AIDS just because of that one stupid mistake? Or will I walk away clean, divirginized brown-ass guy who just could not stop smiling because of that unforgettable sexual encounter? Will I like it? (duh!wrong question) and my worst what if... What if I like it so much I get so hooked up to it? Will I be some heartless sexual predator hunting alleys and streets for sex? Will I be caught most of the time in cheap motels with multiple unknown partners to satisfy the urge? Will I ever stop? You know, things like that...
Sex has became somewhat a responsibility for me. Yes, it can be so consuming and somewhat splendor but you can also end up in a hospital for an STD-treatment. A penicillin and a coconut juice can only do so much for you. Aggressive as youth can be, we can always take precautions and yes, sometimes be carefree.
Life may be a one, big red-and-black roullette (spellcheck, pls), but it's up to us to play it. Sex consumes you. Sex can also make you sane, happy, blah, blahs. I am not saying it's bad or anything. As for me, as long as there is my hand as my company, masturbation would do for me until I meet that selfish, drop-dead georgeous special someone who's diseased-free, stylish and clean-looking. And whoever you are, hurry up son of a bitch, will you... I met get tired waiting for you I might end up hiring a sex slave to satisfy my bursting, uncontrolled and unleashed sexual drive!!! All my waiting for nothing!!! Hahaha!
Sex is a feeling. In fact, a burning sensation. Who would not want to experience that? Even Catholic priests and nuns could not contain that sudden urge of "mmmfff" feeling. Sometimes, that vow of celibacy would just have to be set aside. Who are we to blame them. They are after all humans with cocks and pussies. All after sex.
As with my case, there would always come a time that I think of it. Sometimes if not most of the time, even more. From a virgin's point of view, yes my friends, I AM, (Get over it!) it's so ideal. We always like to picture sex in some lucid and surreal dimension. No hassles, just pure satisfaction. No diseases, no ungodly misconduct but ungodly things and all for the sake of pure sex.
But the things is, everytime I think and I tell myself I want to do it, that's just the time that I back out. So many things pop in my head. The "what-ifs", "how-abouts" and "in-case" phrases just keep on going forever. There was this one time that I wanted to have sex and one step closer of doing it, it just gave me butterflies in my stomach. There goes the "what-ifs" etc. again. What if my sexual partner isn't safe? What if we want it unprotected? Will I end up one day in a hospital with a needle stuck in my right hand, having myself treated from AIDS just because of that one stupid mistake? Or will I walk away clean, divirginized brown-ass guy who just could not stop smiling because of that unforgettable sexual encounter? Will I like it? (duh!wrong question) and my worst what if... What if I like it so much I get so hooked up to it? Will I be some heartless sexual predator hunting alleys and streets for sex? Will I be caught most of the time in cheap motels with multiple unknown partners to satisfy the urge? Will I ever stop? You know, things like that...
Sex has became somewhat a responsibility for me. Yes, it can be so consuming and somewhat splendor but you can also end up in a hospital for an STD-treatment. A penicillin and a coconut juice can only do so much for you. Aggressive as youth can be, we can always take precautions and yes, sometimes be carefree.
Life may be a one, big red-and-black roullette (spellcheck, pls), but it's up to us to play it. Sex consumes you. Sex can also make you sane, happy, blah, blahs. I am not saying it's bad or anything. As for me, as long as there is my hand as my company, masturbation would do for me until I meet that selfish, drop-dead georgeous special someone who's diseased-free, stylish and clean-looking. And whoever you are, hurry up son of a bitch, will you... I met get tired waiting for you I might end up hiring a sex slave to satisfy my bursting, uncontrolled and unleashed sexual drive!!! All my waiting for nothing!!! Hahaha!
Wednesday, May 03, 2006
Change
Thing have definitely changed. The only thing that motivated me to come to work has been take away from me. Today is the third day of having to go to work without my former team members. They, too got transferred to different teams. I must say I do not miss all of them, but I definitely miss the things that we do together. The things that we argue about, which were mainly nonsense.
One thing I miss the most would be the noise we all create together during avail (avail = when there are no calls) time. We just try to kill time and just laugh at something that we think is funny. Though now I could get to feel the vibe of my new time, it still won't be the same. There won't be familiar faces anymore. No distinct laughs. No definite things in common we used to share together.
I guess life means moving on. Getting to accept change as it is. And try not forgetting the good times. And speaking of change, there would definitely be a big change in all of our lives. After we have been dispersed in different teams, this is much worse. XM RADIO, the program that we work for has not renewed its contract to Convergys. THEY say Convergys was too expensive, but I guess it's deeper than that. Reasons that we don't and will never know.
So here we are again, starting from scratch. Trying to choose a different program to work for, again. A whole new environment, a whole new experience. New friends, new faces, new challenges. Though it may be good, I can't seem to ask myself, "What's going to happen next?"
I don't know what the future holds. I don't know what I will become in the future. Everything seems to have been all smoked up and hazy since I started to work and taste the dog-eat-dog environment. But no matter the situation is, all I know is I am destined to do something big. Something bigger than what my heart tells me.
So hang in there and watch me get it slowly. It may not be no yet, but I will surely get there.
One thing I miss the most would be the noise we all create together during avail (avail = when there are no calls) time. We just try to kill time and just laugh at something that we think is funny. Though now I could get to feel the vibe of my new time, it still won't be the same. There won't be familiar faces anymore. No distinct laughs. No definite things in common we used to share together.
I guess life means moving on. Getting to accept change as it is. And try not forgetting the good times. And speaking of change, there would definitely be a big change in all of our lives. After we have been dispersed in different teams, this is much worse. XM RADIO, the program that we work for has not renewed its contract to Convergys. THEY say Convergys was too expensive, but I guess it's deeper than that. Reasons that we don't and will never know.
So here we are again, starting from scratch. Trying to choose a different program to work for, again. A whole new environment, a whole new experience. New friends, new faces, new challenges. Though it may be good, I can't seem to ask myself, "What's going to happen next?"
I don't know what the future holds. I don't know what I will become in the future. Everything seems to have been all smoked up and hazy since I started to work and taste the dog-eat-dog environment. But no matter the situation is, all I know is I am destined to do something big. Something bigger than what my heart tells me.
So hang in there and watch me get it slowly. It may not be no yet, but I will surely get there.
Tuesday, April 11, 2006
The Diary of a Call Center Slave
Time flies.
A couple of months ago, I just started working and now look at me, I am nearly reaching my sixth month - about to be regularized and about to lose most of my co-workers. Most of them have plans of resigning. It's either they found a better job (or at least would find one) or just plain burnt out of what we usually do for customers - solve their problems and sometimes even worse. But knowing the job vacancies in the Philippines where most of the people earned a college degree, THERE IS NO BETTER JOB. JOB FAIRS offer call center employments. Nothing more. I know so, been there, done that!
In a call center world, it's normal to burst into tears. Not because of joy but frustration. It's normal to hear agents shouting and cursing because of bad calls. It's absolutely normal. A perfectly abnormal setting in the outside world is the absolute normal setting in the call center world. You are paid to be the Americans' shock absorbers. You get to be blamed, shouted at and cursed for something that you did not do. That my friend is the cost of a good paying job here in the Third World Country. We work for every single penny we get. And mind you, most of the time even more. We don't get to have that downtime and idle time where most employees get in their eight-hour-jobs. Our worktime is closely monitored, no time to socialize with co-workers and lunchbreaks are the sickest thing. We go on lunches separately and at different schedules. And no overlunches and overbreaks, otherwise, salary deduction!
In a call center world, we do almost everything. Get to answer calls, one after the other with absolutely no stop. Sometimes it's so sickening you just wished no phones were invented or phones were busted. But whichever the case is, we still would do it all over again all for the sake of money. Money that keeps the world going. Period.
(Sighs.) Gruelling as it is, my job I mean, it pays the bills. It gives me a rather convenient life. If only phonecalls could get me rich, I am now a billionaire. I might be in Carribean even as we speak tanning my butt off and feasting my eyes with men's sculpted bodies flaunting and floating on the sand beaches. But reality check, it's a harsh world. I am not one of the fortunate ones who come from a rich family. I am not bryanboy who constantly travels from one country to the other and regards his journey as just a trip from his house to Starbucks. I am not Paris Hilton whose brain floats in tequilla and goes spending my parents millions to party and be drunk all night everyday. I am not like her whose hobby is to do a sex video and get it available online just because I could not do something more. Unlike the rich and the famous, I need to work to survive. I need to work to pay for the conveniences of life and basic commodities.
Had I known I would be in this business, I should have never studied and squeezed my brains off to graduate, earn a degree and be in this mudpit.
Call Center is a good business. And I am not saying it's an easy job. Hell no!?! It takes a lot of patience to deal and make it in the business. You'll learn to smoke cigarettes (some like crack better), curse while on mute and get back to the customer with all smiles pretending you're unaffected, bitch around after a very bad call, practice the art of selective plasticism (Selective plasticism, a term I used to refer to being good to people who can influence your way up because brilliance and hardwork won't get you there!. In laymans term, sucking up to your bosses.) and to some, get a whole lot of fucking buddies. It takes a lot more if the company you're working for does not recognize your potential and your superior just milk out money from you with her butt tied to her chair doing absolutely nothing!
A lot happens in this business. But that's life - harsh, cruel and selfish. You have to set aside your ideals and principles in the meantime, go with the flow and learn the tools of the trade. That my friend is the bitter truth of the Call Center Business. Very glamorous, huh?
A couple of months ago, I just started working and now look at me, I am nearly reaching my sixth month - about to be regularized and about to lose most of my co-workers. Most of them have plans of resigning. It's either they found a better job (or at least would find one) or just plain burnt out of what we usually do for customers - solve their problems and sometimes even worse. But knowing the job vacancies in the Philippines where most of the people earned a college degree, THERE IS NO BETTER JOB. JOB FAIRS offer call center employments. Nothing more. I know so, been there, done that!
In a call center world, it's normal to burst into tears. Not because of joy but frustration. It's normal to hear agents shouting and cursing because of bad calls. It's absolutely normal. A perfectly abnormal setting in the outside world is the absolute normal setting in the call center world. You are paid to be the Americans' shock absorbers. You get to be blamed, shouted at and cursed for something that you did not do. That my friend is the cost of a good paying job here in the Third World Country. We work for every single penny we get. And mind you, most of the time even more. We don't get to have that downtime and idle time where most employees get in their eight-hour-jobs. Our worktime is closely monitored, no time to socialize with co-workers and lunchbreaks are the sickest thing. We go on lunches separately and at different schedules. And no overlunches and overbreaks, otherwise, salary deduction!
In a call center world, we do almost everything. Get to answer calls, one after the other with absolutely no stop. Sometimes it's so sickening you just wished no phones were invented or phones were busted. But whichever the case is, we still would do it all over again all for the sake of money. Money that keeps the world going. Period.
(Sighs.) Gruelling as it is, my job I mean, it pays the bills. It gives me a rather convenient life. If only phonecalls could get me rich, I am now a billionaire. I might be in Carribean even as we speak tanning my butt off and feasting my eyes with men's sculpted bodies flaunting and floating on the sand beaches. But reality check, it's a harsh world. I am not one of the fortunate ones who come from a rich family. I am not bryanboy who constantly travels from one country to the other and regards his journey as just a trip from his house to Starbucks. I am not Paris Hilton whose brain floats in tequilla and goes spending my parents millions to party and be drunk all night everyday. I am not like her whose hobby is to do a sex video and get it available online just because I could not do something more. Unlike the rich and the famous, I need to work to survive. I need to work to pay for the conveniences of life and basic commodities.
Had I known I would be in this business, I should have never studied and squeezed my brains off to graduate, earn a degree and be in this mudpit.
Call Center is a good business. And I am not saying it's an easy job. Hell no!?! It takes a lot of patience to deal and make it in the business. You'll learn to smoke cigarettes (some like crack better), curse while on mute and get back to the customer with all smiles pretending you're unaffected, bitch around after a very bad call, practice the art of selective plasticism (Selective plasticism, a term I used to refer to being good to people who can influence your way up because brilliance and hardwork won't get you there!. In laymans term, sucking up to your bosses.) and to some, get a whole lot of fucking buddies. It takes a lot more if the company you're working for does not recognize your potential and your superior just milk out money from you with her butt tied to her chair doing absolutely nothing!
A lot happens in this business. But that's life - harsh, cruel and selfish. You have to set aside your ideals and principles in the meantime, go with the flow and learn the tools of the trade. That my friend is the bitter truth of the Call Center Business. Very glamorous, huh?
Tuesday, March 28, 2006
Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus. Homosexuals are from ...ahm...eh...ahm...?!?
When you go thru books at a bookstore, browse thru the pages and read privately on purpose since those books are so damn expensive, you browse thru the covers. And whichever has the best cover would catch your attention. It is true among all of us, but few nerds just know how to pick good books from a single glance. That's just beside the point. Anyways, do you remember the book "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" or is it the other way around? That one book that was published how many years back that distinguishes and explains the difference of men and women? Well, judging from the cover and how dainty it looks like, I am assuming (because I haven't read the book yet!)that it tries to explain the obvious. In literal translation would go like, women have vaginas and men have penises.
I don't know if I would be happy of having that book published since it tries to explain the nature of opposite sexes. Yes, it sheds some light to naive people who just couldn't seem to be sensitive enough to figure out and read between the lines. But, this is just for heterosexual people. How would somebody explain an action a homosexual does when in fact that person is a half-bred of a man and a woman in one body, emotionally or physically and vice versa. How would a book explain the nature of somebody that could not be explained yet, or so I think it couldn't.
I am not discounting the fact that the book has some value, and I would have to give it a benefit of the doubt since I have not read it yet. But if it is true that Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus, what would you call the planet that homosexuals are in?Would it going to be something like Marnus, Pluto or the planet that had been kapooshed during the infamous Big Bang?
I don't know if I would be happy of having that book published since it tries to explain the nature of opposite sexes. Yes, it sheds some light to naive people who just couldn't seem to be sensitive enough to figure out and read between the lines. But, this is just for heterosexual people. How would somebody explain an action a homosexual does when in fact that person is a half-bred of a man and a woman in one body, emotionally or physically and vice versa. How would a book explain the nature of somebody that could not be explained yet, or so I think it couldn't.
I am not discounting the fact that the book has some value, and I would have to give it a benefit of the doubt since I have not read it yet. But if it is true that Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus, what would you call the planet that homosexuals are in?Would it going to be something like Marnus, Pluto or the planet that had been kapooshed during the infamous Big Bang?
Wednesday, March 22, 2006
Friendster Testimonial + Big Crush on Sam = Jealousy
Having been new with this falling in love thing, I can only imagine how a heart breaks. I just turned 23, still single. It sucks to some people, yes but it has somehow became my defense mechanism to go thru with life.
I recently had a crush, or so I thought it was. I first saw this bastard at the company's christmas party, all-groomed up but with a gargantuan apetite (in Filipino layman's terms, MATAKAW!). He was not the typical guy because he's short. I hate to site the obvious but he is really short. Short limbs, cute eyes, short limbs, nice hair, short limbs and nice smile. Since then, he caught my heart without even him knowing. A mere infatuation? I believe so.
The tables were turned when I checked his friendster and this lady made him a testimonial, like it was a big deal. I read and yeah it was mediocre. But the bad thing was this flirt guy made her a testimonial as well. It was short, sweet and nice. What bothered me the most was the last of the sentence I could not even decipher. What the hell did it mean? What the hell does this mean, and I quote, "She's an amazing girl and I am proud to have her with me." Can somebody tell me what the hell does this mean? I know that I can not compete with her since she has those gifts of puffy boobs and a VAGINA. And the bastard is a flirt! And who would compete with a VAGINA? I don't have that and I don't plan on having one! I love my PENIS hanging in between my thighs thank you very much!
I just turned 23, and the nerve of having that posted a day after my birthday was just so aggravating. Did they do that in purpose? Does he even know I exist? Or is he so damn pre-occupied flirting with this Rochelle Ann that he did not even think before he posted that!
I don't know what a heartbreak feels like but I think I have an idea. Before I stangle this poor girl, dice her into pieces and feed to the goldfish and skin her alive, can somebody explain to me what that last sentence means? Does that mean that he is very fortunate that he had the chance to know her and work with her as a colleague or he is proud to have this bitch with her as a couple? But I guess not, they're both single on their friendster profile. I just hope they're telling the truth. I will watch you two! Better be good or else, I'd beat you two to death.
I recently had a crush, or so I thought it was. I first saw this bastard at the company's christmas party, all-groomed up but with a gargantuan apetite (in Filipino layman's terms, MATAKAW!). He was not the typical guy because he's short. I hate to site the obvious but he is really short. Short limbs, cute eyes, short limbs, nice hair, short limbs and nice smile. Since then, he caught my heart without even him knowing. A mere infatuation? I believe so.
The tables were turned when I checked his friendster and this lady made him a testimonial, like it was a big deal. I read and yeah it was mediocre. But the bad thing was this flirt guy made her a testimonial as well. It was short, sweet and nice. What bothered me the most was the last of the sentence I could not even decipher. What the hell did it mean? What the hell does this mean, and I quote, "She's an amazing girl and I am proud to have her with me." Can somebody tell me what the hell does this mean? I know that I can not compete with her since she has those gifts of puffy boobs and a VAGINA. And the bastard is a flirt! And who would compete with a VAGINA? I don't have that and I don't plan on having one! I love my PENIS hanging in between my thighs thank you very much!
I just turned 23, and the nerve of having that posted a day after my birthday was just so aggravating. Did they do that in purpose? Does he even know I exist? Or is he so damn pre-occupied flirting with this Rochelle Ann that he did not even think before he posted that!
I don't know what a heartbreak feels like but I think I have an idea. Before I stangle this poor girl, dice her into pieces and feed to the goldfish and skin her alive, can somebody explain to me what that last sentence means? Does that mean that he is very fortunate that he had the chance to know her and work with her as a colleague or he is proud to have this bitch with her as a couple? But I guess not, they're both single on their friendster profile. I just hope they're telling the truth. I will watch you two! Better be good or else, I'd beat you two to death.
Sunday, February 12, 2006
"What-Ifs"
We are our own self.
We always hear this advice from successful people especially from personalities who eventually made their mark in their respective fields. For some reason they just make it easier to believe, and say it for that matter. They always say to be comfortable with your own skin, you are what you are and among those remarks of wisdom. They tell us to be us and not be someone else.
In a world, where standards of beauty rely on race and social constructs, we will never be comfortable in our own vessel, unless everything in the world is created equal and flawless. We will only be our own self if all peoples regard each race as equal as they are.
We have a lot of "what-ifs" in our lives, trying to live a dream that we know will never happen and somehow fulfill a fantasy we know we can never attain in our lifetime. Our "what-ifs" give us a much more reason to believe in ourselves. Our "what-ifs" make us who we are. These keep us going in a world full of communal chaos and splashes of deceits. Our "what-ifs" give us an opportunity to experiment and provide an scapegoat for ourselves, creating a prism of our different selves or would-be personalities.
Some may never accept or embrace their race or denounce who they are, but we will come to terms with our thoughts and our selves, thus keeping us sane and grounded. We will somehow deal with our "what-ifs" and so-called inferiorities, in time. Change does not happen overnight, it is a process.
Until it happens, fire up the hopes of our "what-ifs" and continue with the journey of our so-called-life.
We always hear this advice from successful people especially from personalities who eventually made their mark in their respective fields. For some reason they just make it easier to believe, and say it for that matter. They always say to be comfortable with your own skin, you are what you are and among those remarks of wisdom. They tell us to be us and not be someone else.
In a world, where standards of beauty rely on race and social constructs, we will never be comfortable in our own vessel, unless everything in the world is created equal and flawless. We will only be our own self if all peoples regard each race as equal as they are.
We have a lot of "what-ifs" in our lives, trying to live a dream that we know will never happen and somehow fulfill a fantasy we know we can never attain in our lifetime. Our "what-ifs" give us a much more reason to believe in ourselves. Our "what-ifs" make us who we are. These keep us going in a world full of communal chaos and splashes of deceits. Our "what-ifs" give us an opportunity to experiment and provide an scapegoat for ourselves, creating a prism of our different selves or would-be personalities.
Some may never accept or embrace their race or denounce who they are, but we will come to terms with our thoughts and our selves, thus keeping us sane and grounded. We will somehow deal with our "what-ifs" and so-called inferiorities, in time. Change does not happen overnight, it is a process.
Until it happens, fire up the hopes of our "what-ifs" and continue with the journey of our so-called-life.
Friday, February 10, 2006
A Difference Between Work And A Laundromat
Have you ever felt so bummed you could just not do anything aside from work? Have you felt that sudden urge to let go and resign to relieve yourself of your work duties and end it all? I have, but not everyday.
Working is the same as doing your own laundry, washing and wearing your clothes every once in a while. You feel no definite satisfaction other than the company of friends and colleagues. In doing the laundry and having a work, one follows a step by step procedure, a procedure only different in maybe one or two steps.
In doing the laundry, you wear the clothes first, take them off, soak them with a detergent, put them in the washing machine and then rinse. Well, same goes when you have work. You go to work directly from bed, take a bath but not necessary a detergant but a bath soap or better, damp dry your body and put whatever lotion or any beauty secret you're zealotously hooked with and get an office outfit and, voila, you're ready to go to work. There may have been changes in the steps to follow, but, nevertheless, same in nature.
The only thing noticeable and distinct is in doing a laundry, you can stop at anytime you want. You can suspend and put your life behind you and you could do it after suspension. Well, at work, when you resign, you do things again. You start from scratch and you're back from square one. It doesn't matter if you have removed the stains and marks of mishaps and achieved triumph in oh-so-little-time. Every work, every job, needs a time to prove one's self and be ahead of everyone, if possible.
Working is the same as doing your own laundry, washing and wearing your clothes every once in a while. You feel no definite satisfaction other than the company of friends and colleagues. In doing the laundry and having a work, one follows a step by step procedure, a procedure only different in maybe one or two steps.
In doing the laundry, you wear the clothes first, take them off, soak them with a detergent, put them in the washing machine and then rinse. Well, same goes when you have work. You go to work directly from bed, take a bath but not necessary a detergant but a bath soap or better, damp dry your body and put whatever lotion or any beauty secret you're zealotously hooked with and get an office outfit and, voila, you're ready to go to work. There may have been changes in the steps to follow, but, nevertheless, same in nature.
The only thing noticeable and distinct is in doing a laundry, you can stop at anytime you want. You can suspend and put your life behind you and you could do it after suspension. Well, at work, when you resign, you do things again. You start from scratch and you're back from square one. It doesn't matter if you have removed the stains and marks of mishaps and achieved triumph in oh-so-little-time. Every work, every job, needs a time to prove one's self and be ahead of everyone, if possible.
Tuesday, February 07, 2006
Somebody's somebody
I was doing my own laundry at this time when I got to ponder on something that hasn't crossed my mind in my lifetime yet. This would be the day of my awakening, awakening of my adult state of mind and views with matters of love and soulmate?
When I try to view the concept of love, I could not help but view the world, too. Getting in love is just like a game of hope. A game of luck. Majority of people get to fall in and out of love so many times in their lifetime before they get to find the one and get in love all over again. It's like a vicious cycle. A cycle we don't know when to end. A cycle of love and hate and recovery. I could not decipher how two people get to meet and eventually click, and only to find out later that they are better off living their separate lives. Or, a person loving someone that doesn't love that person back. I mean, yes, there will always be that animal behavoir, that pheromone scent to mark the territory when it comes to love and partners. It's a given. But how does two individuals get to meet and find their opposite halves with that exact same feeling of love for one another? In a world where people interact with people, is there such a thing as finding a soulmate? Or is this term as vague as finding a needle in a haystack, or even worse, finding you're own guiding star amidst the galaxies?
Is finding a soulmate as good as finding somebody within your territory? Or is finding one bigger than that concept? We get to meet people within our boundaries, within our comfort zones. There might be times that we get to meet and have some wild encounters outside our circle of friends but that's just a rare ocassion. And if that's the case, is finding a somebody's somebody an obligation or does it come in God's time? Lucky are the people who got hold of their opposite halves in so little time from far away places.
But when will that prince charming climb that tower and rescue you if he doesn't even know which tower in the world he should climb to to find and give his kiss away? For how long will that princess have to wait staying in that encaged and isolated confinement for his prince to climb that filthy tower? Are fairy tales bound to remain on books and children's stories and leave men and women hopefuls for their somebody's somebody?
Is humanity bound to its predestined doom? Or is the concept so intricate and perfect that each one of us has that distinct opposite that looks for us too, no matter how far we are fom them. Does it matter if we're here from the Philippines and they're there in Timbuktu or Antarctica or will they eventually find their way to us?
I guess that question is, how long will we have to wait?Better yet, how long will we have to be hopeful for our knights in shining armor or our damsells in distress? Will we wait til the princes' penises could no longer raise their flags and squirt their sperms to the so called fallopian tubes? Will we wait til the damsels' egg cells become raisins and imperfect for fertilization and reach that menopausal stage and literally run out of egg cells?
I guess what I am saying is, how are we sure that the love that we have now is really meant for that somebody when in fact we have so much unchartered territories to discover and unravel? Is that love our single and only option to not lose hope in finding that somebody for us? Is that how we find our own somebody's somebody?
When I try to view the concept of love, I could not help but view the world, too. Getting in love is just like a game of hope. A game of luck. Majority of people get to fall in and out of love so many times in their lifetime before they get to find the one and get in love all over again. It's like a vicious cycle. A cycle we don't know when to end. A cycle of love and hate and recovery. I could not decipher how two people get to meet and eventually click, and only to find out later that they are better off living their separate lives. Or, a person loving someone that doesn't love that person back. I mean, yes, there will always be that animal behavoir, that pheromone scent to mark the territory when it comes to love and partners. It's a given. But how does two individuals get to meet and find their opposite halves with that exact same feeling of love for one another? In a world where people interact with people, is there such a thing as finding a soulmate? Or is this term as vague as finding a needle in a haystack, or even worse, finding you're own guiding star amidst the galaxies?
Is finding a soulmate as good as finding somebody within your territory? Or is finding one bigger than that concept? We get to meet people within our boundaries, within our comfort zones. There might be times that we get to meet and have some wild encounters outside our circle of friends but that's just a rare ocassion. And if that's the case, is finding a somebody's somebody an obligation or does it come in God's time? Lucky are the people who got hold of their opposite halves in so little time from far away places.
But when will that prince charming climb that tower and rescue you if he doesn't even know which tower in the world he should climb to to find and give his kiss away? For how long will that princess have to wait staying in that encaged and isolated confinement for his prince to climb that filthy tower? Are fairy tales bound to remain on books and children's stories and leave men and women hopefuls for their somebody's somebody?
Is humanity bound to its predestined doom? Or is the concept so intricate and perfect that each one of us has that distinct opposite that looks for us too, no matter how far we are fom them. Does it matter if we're here from the Philippines and they're there in Timbuktu or Antarctica or will they eventually find their way to us?
I guess that question is, how long will we have to wait?Better yet, how long will we have to be hopeful for our knights in shining armor or our damsells in distress? Will we wait til the princes' penises could no longer raise their flags and squirt their sperms to the so called fallopian tubes? Will we wait til the damsels' egg cells become raisins and imperfect for fertilization and reach that menopausal stage and literally run out of egg cells?
I guess what I am saying is, how are we sure that the love that we have now is really meant for that somebody when in fact we have so much unchartered territories to discover and unravel? Is that love our single and only option to not lose hope in finding that somebody for us? Is that how we find our own somebody's somebody?
Saturday, February 04, 2006
Only When I Sleep
Everyday I try to look for you,
Day by day I wait and long for you.
To be the sunshine of my night,
The star of my barren darkness.
You make my heart pound faster,
You make it smile like no other.
Knight you are in my life.
You're mine, but only when I sleep.
The smile, the hair and the whole demeanor,
Your scent makes me sigh, makes me soar.
The chinky eyes that sparkle like twin stars,
You're mine, but only when I sleep.
Time flies and love grows,
From nothing to simple infatuation,
I think this love is growing,
Love that is splendid but painstakingly impossible.
Day by day I wait and long for you.
To be the sunshine of my night,
The star of my barren darkness.
You make my heart pound faster,
You make it smile like no other.
Knight you are in my life.
You're mine, but only when I sleep.
The smile, the hair and the whole demeanor,
Your scent makes me sigh, makes me soar.
The chinky eyes that sparkle like twin stars,
You're mine, but only when I sleep.
Time flies and love grows,
From nothing to simple infatuation,
I think this love is growing,
Love that is splendid but painstakingly impossible.
Friday, February 03, 2006
One of the days...
Still at work today... My third day of the five-day work-week. Same old, same old. Still hanging, but not getting anywhere. I really don't know where the wind would take me. So I don't want to make a long-term goal for myself.
I am at the point of my almost-mid-life crisis. I tend to compare myself to friends who have successfully penetrated and made a name for themselves on their respective fields. I never envied them. Envy is not in my vocabulary, at least not yet.
I am not one of the people who turns yellow and curse successful people. It is their choice to make, it is their dream. Success as it is, is a complex thing. Degrees of success vary with different kinds of people. Success for one may not necessarily be success for others. We define our "it". We define "it".
I have had success in my studies and it happenned so fast I didn't know it was "it" already. I made my mark and got it on my own. I guess in work, that's a different story. I have yet to take a hold of it. I am in my own state, my own ground. Not in a rush though, just on a look-out. Possibilities are endless, and in a world full of possibilities, nothing seems to be impossible.
I just have to be in that perfect time and perfect place. Impossible, ahm, yes, but do-able.
I am at the point of my almost-mid-life crisis. I tend to compare myself to friends who have successfully penetrated and made a name for themselves on their respective fields. I never envied them. Envy is not in my vocabulary, at least not yet.
I am not one of the people who turns yellow and curse successful people. It is their choice to make, it is their dream. Success as it is, is a complex thing. Degrees of success vary with different kinds of people. Success for one may not necessarily be success for others. We define our "it". We define "it".
I have had success in my studies and it happenned so fast I didn't know it was "it" already. I made my mark and got it on my own. I guess in work, that's a different story. I have yet to take a hold of it. I am in my own state, my own ground. Not in a rush though, just on a look-out. Possibilities are endless, and in a world full of possibilities, nothing seems to be impossible.
I just have to be in that perfect time and perfect place. Impossible, ahm, yes, but do-able.
Wednesday, February 01, 2006
You don't know how much I am loving my job right now!!!
On my way to work earlier this evening (which by the way was around 10:30PM), I was not feeling it. I was not in the mood whatsoever to work and be a phone slave for eight hours. I just came from my days off, so it was understandable that I might have been experiencing a post-day-off experience. Well, let's just say there was nothing to anticipate now. There would be nobody to lighten up my woozy night. There would be nothing to anticipate. Absolutely nothing.
But as they say, when it rains, it pours. So when things go bad, they would really go bad. When things are otherwise, they're better, big time. On our way up to set-up our work station, pull up the systems we used, etc., we got an unexpected news. That information came from our friends who were supposedly taking in calls already for the ever-so-good program, the satellite radio. Our systems are down, not much calls. With no calls, that would mean no stress for us, especially me as I have been stressed out in dealing with customers who are basically devil incarnates, haha. Pun intended!
Breaktime...I have gone down with a friend, Dea. No inspiration still. And newsflash...Calls are normal again. So we are paid on what we are worth for, or even less. Time to do the carabao labor again, and start plowing the fields for productivity. Have to be that employee that does his best again and pretend every bit of my work is just a walk in the park, hehe.
Time to go to work. But anyhow, you don't know how much I am loving my work right now! Even for one bit, downtime was fun and just bonding with my colleagues are the best part of this experience.
But as they say, when it rains, it pours. So when things go bad, they would really go bad. When things are otherwise, they're better, big time. On our way up to set-up our work station, pull up the systems we used, etc., we got an unexpected news. That information came from our friends who were supposedly taking in calls already for the ever-so-good program, the satellite radio. Our systems are down, not much calls. With no calls, that would mean no stress for us, especially me as I have been stressed out in dealing with customers who are basically devil incarnates, haha. Pun intended!
Breaktime...I have gone down with a friend, Dea. No inspiration still. And newsflash...Calls are normal again. So we are paid on what we are worth for, or even less. Time to do the carabao labor again, and start plowing the fields for productivity. Have to be that employee that does his best again and pretend every bit of my work is just a walk in the park, hehe.
Time to go to work. But anyhow, you don't know how much I am loving my work right now! Even for one bit, downtime was fun and just bonding with my colleagues are the best part of this experience.
Friday, December 02, 2005
A Jukebox Celebration - Dea's B-Day Celebration. :)
As I am writing this second posting for the day after a relatively long time, I have my colleagues jamming in my background. We have a rather interesting group. There are singers, musicians, comedians and just plain audience amidst all the commotion.
I never came here to ever use my friend's PC nor make synergy of vocalists and creative fellas. It's Dea's birthday celebration, actually not technically. She is just celebrating her birthday today. Tomorrow is her big day. But who cares, as long as we get free food, free music, free internet connection (ahem!) and among all things that come with the package, I am not even close to complaining. (hehe!)
We have our own posts here in her house. Whie, the pianist is closely working with his hands over the keys. Chevy is singing her heart out, with those doll eyes up and down motion. Bong is just done smoking that Marlboro ciggy. Tita just went upstairs to probably get something. And the remaining people, the outcast of the group (haha!) (PUN intended!) are doing their own thing exchanging stories and playing with the violin and God knows what else more!
Music, noises and talks fill up the space. And it is so much fun. :)
I never came here to ever use my friend's PC nor make synergy of vocalists and creative fellas. It's Dea's birthday celebration, actually not technically. She is just celebrating her birthday today. Tomorrow is her big day. But who cares, as long as we get free food, free music, free internet connection (ahem!) and among all things that come with the package, I am not even close to complaining. (hehe!)
We have our own posts here in her house. Whie, the pianist is closely working with his hands over the keys. Chevy is singing her heart out, with those doll eyes up and down motion. Bong is just done smoking that Marlboro ciggy. Tita just went upstairs to probably get something. And the remaining people, the outcast of the group (haha!) (PUN intended!) are doing their own thing exchanging stories and playing with the violin and God knows what else more!
Music, noises and talks fill up the space. And it is so much fun. :)
Seasons...
It has been a while since I last checked my blog. I haven't posted anything, I haven't written anything yet. My PC just crashed, so that's one of the reasons why I haven't posted anything. I have been busy pursuing a career I thought at first as somewhat preposterous. I had no intentions of pursuing it at first as I have had my future plans plotted for myself. But, it just makes me think twice again. Why would I be in this industry in the first place if God has no reason for it afterall?It just makes me think, what's my purpose?Why was I somehow drawn to this? (sighs)
Customer service has never been a stranger to me. As my first job, I was employed at Etelecare Global Solutions, and from there I knew the ins and outs of the business by heart like a child who for the first time discovers the wonders of making a stride. I liked it at first simply because I have had established bonds up til now I treasure. By the time I was nine months old in the company, I was able to establish routines that I eventually detested, A LOT! I am a zealot of variety. I embrace it. I breathe it. So by then, I decided to come out there and just search for that green pasture everybody talks about. I belonged to the latter. I failed. I brushed my feet off the ground every now and then just to have my feet soaked. Still, I was a failure.
Now, I am back again in the industry I had thrown and removed from my psyche. I am back doing the thing that I hated, and worse I am somewhat enjoying it. They say, life is a journey. But it is not all about getting there, it's about the people and things you meet along the way. Taking the journey gives more pride than getting where ever.
Now, I consider myself a free spirit. I don't see myself ten years or a year from now. I don't make plans for the future. I leave everything to chance, to fate - a principle not everybody agrees to. I just take wherever the wind takes me.
I sway just the same as a tree that has been there withstanding the odds of nature. I'd like to see myself surviving the four seasons of my life - as I fall, I wait in winter, incarnated in spring and a whole new person in summer.
Customer service has never been a stranger to me. As my first job, I was employed at Etelecare Global Solutions, and from there I knew the ins and outs of the business by heart like a child who for the first time discovers the wonders of making a stride. I liked it at first simply because I have had established bonds up til now I treasure. By the time I was nine months old in the company, I was able to establish routines that I eventually detested, A LOT! I am a zealot of variety. I embrace it. I breathe it. So by then, I decided to come out there and just search for that green pasture everybody talks about. I belonged to the latter. I failed. I brushed my feet off the ground every now and then just to have my feet soaked. Still, I was a failure.
Now, I am back again in the industry I had thrown and removed from my psyche. I am back doing the thing that I hated, and worse I am somewhat enjoying it. They say, life is a journey. But it is not all about getting there, it's about the people and things you meet along the way. Taking the journey gives more pride than getting where ever.
Now, I consider myself a free spirit. I don't see myself ten years or a year from now. I don't make plans for the future. I leave everything to chance, to fate - a principle not everybody agrees to. I just take wherever the wind takes me.
I sway just the same as a tree that has been there withstanding the odds of nature. I'd like to see myself surviving the four seasons of my life - as I fall, I wait in winter, incarnated in spring and a whole new person in summer.
Wednesday, October 26, 2005
A job, at last...
After those gruelling months of waiting and searching, applying from one company to the other with my best corporate attire possible, I finally landed on a job. A job not that I wanted really but a job that would finally pay the bills and would be a lucrative endeavor to at least help my survival in this harsh world. Let's just say the dream job has been quite elusive, so I used my brain and settled for the best possible option.
For the past months, I have tried everything to look and search for it (the so-called dream job a.k.a. impossible dream), and whenever I do find it, it's either I am caught in such a bad timing and worst circumstances. They would always say that they stopped hiring, something came up, yada, yada, yada. The hell with those reasons, the hell with my dream job. I had to settle and at least sustain my lifestyle, which has been so boring and so frugal these past months (ges, one can only imagine). So that became my eye-opener and my sign to actually start working again.
Actually, I was accepted with a handful of companies. Majority of the companies that accepted me the soonest were call centers. The call center industry in the Philippines has been the bread and butter of almost 75 percent of fresh graduates in the country, primarily because of lack of job opportunities and the monetary rewards. I am not a fresh graduate, but I started my career from there. The results were rewarding and it was a great experience, really but, ahm, I started looking and searching after that, after my shortlived career in the call center industry. I have had two regular jobs after that, and after almost a year and a half, I am back in the same nature of the business, teh call center industry.
I am supposed to start tommorow, and I think there's no backing up. I don't have any butterflies in my stomach and I convinced myself already that this is the best option. This may not be the best decision of all time but this one I have to make. And now, right at this very moment, this is the best decision and the right thing to do. I had to earn as much money as possible, so that I can do what I want to do.
Money is everything in this world. A world where money is truly a very important commodity, in fact a necessity to influence to buy your daily needs, buy your leisure time, support the sport you want. The list just goes on and on. Money is indeed an object that makes the world revolve around you. This was a lesson that took me months of being unemployed to learn and realize that if you have no money, you're basically nothing and worthless.
I kept my hopes up. And now, it led me nowhere. It timewarped me from the time I first started working. And now I am here in the same business again. I had no regrets, I guess history just keeps on repeating itself. But I still have that tiny spark in my being, I know what I want, and sooner or later, I would have to open my dream cabinet again and reach out for that dream I have set aside to survive.
Only time will tell. Only God will plot my fate.
For the past months, I have tried everything to look and search for it (the so-called dream job a.k.a. impossible dream), and whenever I do find it, it's either I am caught in such a bad timing and worst circumstances. They would always say that they stopped hiring, something came up, yada, yada, yada. The hell with those reasons, the hell with my dream job. I had to settle and at least sustain my lifestyle, which has been so boring and so frugal these past months (ges, one can only imagine). So that became my eye-opener and my sign to actually start working again.
Actually, I was accepted with a handful of companies. Majority of the companies that accepted me the soonest were call centers. The call center industry in the Philippines has been the bread and butter of almost 75 percent of fresh graduates in the country, primarily because of lack of job opportunities and the monetary rewards. I am not a fresh graduate, but I started my career from there. The results were rewarding and it was a great experience, really but, ahm, I started looking and searching after that, after my shortlived career in the call center industry. I have had two regular jobs after that, and after almost a year and a half, I am back in the same nature of the business, teh call center industry.
I am supposed to start tommorow, and I think there's no backing up. I don't have any butterflies in my stomach and I convinced myself already that this is the best option. This may not be the best decision of all time but this one I have to make. And now, right at this very moment, this is the best decision and the right thing to do. I had to earn as much money as possible, so that I can do what I want to do.
Money is everything in this world. A world where money is truly a very important commodity, in fact a necessity to influence to buy your daily needs, buy your leisure time, support the sport you want. The list just goes on and on. Money is indeed an object that makes the world revolve around you. This was a lesson that took me months of being unemployed to learn and realize that if you have no money, you're basically nothing and worthless.
I kept my hopes up. And now, it led me nowhere. It timewarped me from the time I first started working. And now I am here in the same business again. I had no regrets, I guess history just keeps on repeating itself. But I still have that tiny spark in my being, I know what I want, and sooner or later, I would have to open my dream cabinet again and reach out for that dream I have set aside to survive.
Only time will tell. Only God will plot my fate.
Wednesday, September 07, 2005
A Voice from a Twenty-two-year-old
The Philippines is in chaos. It is an indeed tough time for us Filipinos to seek total independence and complete satisfaction for work and happiness. The president was vindicated. She was relieved from the allegations and the impeachment trial is halted even before it began. Still, here we are, somewhat abandoned and are left to watch ourselves.
No president. No politician. No higher power to guide us for they watch and seek their own preservation in the so-called numbers game in politics. They set aside their duties they swore to fulfill when they were elected to service the public. They set aside their responsibilities and soaked their feet in the muddy grounds of political rivalry.
Our hero, Jose Rizal once said, 'ang kabataan ang pag-asa ng bayan' [translated as 'the youth is the hope of the nation']. But how can we be the hope of the nation if we, ourselves, stopped believing. If we, ourselves stopped hoping. If we, ourselves, see the dark truth and grim future of our nation.
We, all, should take time to reflect on ourselves. This is the time to reflect on our nation's welfare. The youth cannot build the nation with hope and ideals learned from universities. We cannot do this alone.
Sometimes I wonder, Philippines would have been a great nation without a leader and without a system. Having no leader or system would mean no corruption, no moral defamation and no world of struggling politicians hungry for absolute power.
We are left out for ourselves. We are to watch our own step. Genuine politicians are a relatively small amount of the majority. Philippines is left out to take care of herself.
No president. No politician. No higher power to guide us for they watch and seek their own preservation in the so-called numbers game in politics. They set aside their duties they swore to fulfill when they were elected to service the public. They set aside their responsibilities and soaked their feet in the muddy grounds of political rivalry.
Our hero, Jose Rizal once said, 'ang kabataan ang pag-asa ng bayan' [translated as 'the youth is the hope of the nation']. But how can we be the hope of the nation if we, ourselves, stopped believing. If we, ourselves stopped hoping. If we, ourselves, see the dark truth and grim future of our nation.
We, all, should take time to reflect on ourselves. This is the time to reflect on our nation's welfare. The youth cannot build the nation with hope and ideals learned from universities. We cannot do this alone.
Sometimes I wonder, Philippines would have been a great nation without a leader and without a system. Having no leader or system would mean no corruption, no moral defamation and no world of struggling politicians hungry for absolute power.
We are left out for ourselves. We are to watch our own step. Genuine politicians are a relatively small amount of the majority. Philippines is left out to take care of herself.
Tuesday, August 23, 2005
My Life and My Traffic Light
I don't know why I haven't posted anything on my blog for so long. But I know for sure that I have not published and written a word for more than a month now. I think this is the time to actually get busy again with writing, hehe.
Nothing much had happened really for the past month. Same old story. Same old characters and same old grudges. I think I am better now, but still jobless.
Sometimes, I mean in most of the time, things don't happen the way you want them to. In fact, things happen when you don't expect them to happen. Unforeseen circumstances, others call it fate. Or otherwise.
This past month, I had been busy. Busy checking on the sunday newspapers in the classified ads section hoping to find and cut job advertisements for employment. From one sunday to the other, I had been vigilant and I kept seeing the call center job advertisements as big as a one newspaper page, more or less a sign that this country is going nowhere. I took it as a sign that somehow and in some way, this would be the scapegoat, my scapegoat. Or more of like a fate I should be taking that I have denounced for so long.
Clipping classified ads from the sunday newspapers became my hobby. And inquiring over the phone for the job description specified became my tool. There were a few jobs that were posted that I became interested in. Not exactly my cup of tea, but close.
From one job inquiry to another, I kept myself occupied and alert for interesting jobs. I may have clipped the best jobs there were on the newspaper, the question still wondered in my head, "Would I be qualified?"
I spent a rather fair amount of my time job hunting, distributing my resume from one company to another with hopes of getting a phone call from them for an interview or an exam schedule. But still, of no luck.
As minutes turned into hours, hours into days, days into weeks, and weeks in months, I heard no phone calls, not even one job that I seriously wanted. Ah, yeah, I got a letter from an advertising firm stating that I was qualified for the post but they did not have a vacany at that point. So it was just a way of saying, "You're good, but not good enough!" (Did that suppose to make me feel better?)
Months had passed since my last job and believe me, I have had my shares of depression, denial, rejection and low esteem in the process. It was a rough road and it still is. But I have said that lessons in life need to be experienced in order to be learned. And this is exactly what's happenning.
From my rough journey, I realized that dreams are to be postponed for a while in order for you to fulfill and live them. That timing is everything. And that you are not yet ready to live those dreams.
Life is a one, big traffic light. God does not flash His red light to stop us from dreaming but only flashes the yellow one to tell us to wait for our turn, that our go signal, the green light will have to come at the right time.
My being jobless is one thing I consider my wake up call. Dreams remain dreams for some people because they stop dreaming. They stop believing. I have my own dreams, too. They may not happen now, but I know that if I keep on dreaming and believing, I will get there. I would just have to wait for my yellow light to turn green and I am ready for the ride. But for now, I should live within my means. Work with whatever available resources there is. And simply enjoy the ride.
Nothing much had happened really for the past month. Same old story. Same old characters and same old grudges. I think I am better now, but still jobless.
Sometimes, I mean in most of the time, things don't happen the way you want them to. In fact, things happen when you don't expect them to happen. Unforeseen circumstances, others call it fate. Or otherwise.
This past month, I had been busy. Busy checking on the sunday newspapers in the classified ads section hoping to find and cut job advertisements for employment. From one sunday to the other, I had been vigilant and I kept seeing the call center job advertisements as big as a one newspaper page, more or less a sign that this country is going nowhere. I took it as a sign that somehow and in some way, this would be the scapegoat, my scapegoat. Or more of like a fate I should be taking that I have denounced for so long.
Clipping classified ads from the sunday newspapers became my hobby. And inquiring over the phone for the job description specified became my tool. There were a few jobs that were posted that I became interested in. Not exactly my cup of tea, but close.
From one job inquiry to another, I kept myself occupied and alert for interesting jobs. I may have clipped the best jobs there were on the newspaper, the question still wondered in my head, "Would I be qualified?"
I spent a rather fair amount of my time job hunting, distributing my resume from one company to another with hopes of getting a phone call from them for an interview or an exam schedule. But still, of no luck.
As minutes turned into hours, hours into days, days into weeks, and weeks in months, I heard no phone calls, not even one job that I seriously wanted. Ah, yeah, I got a letter from an advertising firm stating that I was qualified for the post but they did not have a vacany at that point. So it was just a way of saying, "You're good, but not good enough!" (Did that suppose to make me feel better?)
Months had passed since my last job and believe me, I have had my shares of depression, denial, rejection and low esteem in the process. It was a rough road and it still is. But I have said that lessons in life need to be experienced in order to be learned. And this is exactly what's happenning.
From my rough journey, I realized that dreams are to be postponed for a while in order for you to fulfill and live them. That timing is everything. And that you are not yet ready to live those dreams.
Life is a one, big traffic light. God does not flash His red light to stop us from dreaming but only flashes the yellow one to tell us to wait for our turn, that our go signal, the green light will have to come at the right time.
My being jobless is one thing I consider my wake up call. Dreams remain dreams for some people because they stop dreaming. They stop believing. I have my own dreams, too. They may not happen now, but I know that if I keep on dreaming and believing, I will get there. I would just have to wait for my yellow light to turn green and I am ready for the ride. But for now, I should live within my means. Work with whatever available resources there is. And simply enjoy the ride.
Saturday, July 09, 2005
Flying with a Broken Wing, MY STORY
After months of waiting, months of having to think and figure out what I wanted to do with my life, that it’s all taking its toll on me. I have not been the most productive person during those months, but I can and want to say that I perfectly know what I wanted to do with my life. I have straightened my priorities and I have a specific career – a career that somehow glitches its way away from me.
Reality bites. I have been telling everyone that I finally found a job to perfectly fit me - my needs and my wants. But still, no matter how hard I strive to get to it, or at least how much effort I put into it, my dream manages to escape and break away my walls of succession.
Here I am, stuck in a very old computer, writing about a story most of you would not even relate to or care to read. Who would have wanted to read a depressed twenty-year-old who is unemployed, confused and broken? Who would have wanted to shoulder other person’s misery when in fact that person could not handle his burden he hopes to unload? Who would want that? Who wants that?
I came from a family of four, from a middle class family. We don’t have much but we are happy with what we have. I have an older sister and I am the youngest in the family. Growing up, we were nurtured and we were guided accordingly. I can say that now I am a grown-up, I am very much instilled with good values.
I was a consistent honors student. Even in my early days, I was seen competing in quiz bees and inter-school competitions. Luckily, I won majority of them. Everyone knew that I was going to be the Valedictorian, the crème de la crème of the batch, which I became after six years of primary schooling. I did not feel the pressure growing up to accomplish the things that I accomplished. I was showered with love and care from my parents and my sister. I wanted to give them that prestige of having a son and a brother, who gave his best in the academic field since I was not the type to bring home medals from sports. I was lame. I was never athletic, that I knew for sure.
The sweep for academic excellence went on and on. I did have a rough start during my high school days but nevertheless got the second highest distinction from our batch. I was the class Salutatorian, and I knew that I made them proud. I pursued college and passed the UPCAT, and was eventually enrolled to the country’s top state university, University of the Philippines, where I took BA Art Studies (Interdisciplinary program) in three and a half years, which earned another academic distinction - cum laude. I knew that at that point, I could not even made them more proud of me. I did all of those for them more than for myself. At that point, I could have never felt more fulfilled in my life.
Right there and then, I thought it was enough to actually exceed my flaws and my shortcomings over those accomplishments. I never expected that it would raise the bar of expectations even more.
I requested and I told my parents that I would rest for a while since I graduated sooner than expected. They agreed and during that time, I was doing nothing for as long as I could remember – doing things I never got to explore more and never got to do since all I did was study and come home early, which were all on my own volition. They supported me all through out even if we were not as well off as the others. They were supportive. I got the best parents God could ever give me.
The time has come to face the real world, the corporate world. The dog-eat-dog world. I was the bait, a vulnerable fresh graduate seeking for employment. Lucky enough, I got to be employed in a call center, a top caliber call center in the Philippines, Etelecare International. The graveyard schedule and the routine work gave me the chills to pursue a different career. After nine months, I have had it. It was time to do a work different from the usual. All through out this time, my family remained very supportive, reminding me and guiding me of what I wanted to do but still letting me decide, somehow.
I got a second job from Thames International Business School, which became a ground for me to know a lot of friends and further my skills in mingling with people. I was assigned in the Admissions Department, helping applicants and future students during exams, interviews and enrolment. From that experience, I became multi-tasker times two. I loved the job but my boss was toxic, my immediate supervisor, that is. So no matter how hard I was trying to prove myself, politics overshadowed my performance, aside from the piles of work remained undone by those workers who became before me. There was no order, no system and could not endure having to deal with irate parents and callers everyday. For that, I resigned.
I got the job description that I wanted in my latest job. It was a dynamic industry, it was in the filed of publishing. A small company, I got exposed to different working environment. I got to meddle with fields I never knew existed. I enjoyed what I was doing. I loved it. I was molded and I got to realize my niche already. But as much as I wanted to pursue and stay, the company closed. The publisher decided to end and put a stop after the second issue. The second issue was never published, but I have heard that it will be published. I do now know when though.
I saw myself jobless again, an achiever not going anywhere. The irony of having to be brilliant but not having to find a job he wants. It was turmoil. It was chaos. It was a roller coaster emotional imbalance – of guilt, of frustration and of pressure.
I was once told that brilliance is never to be wasted. But here, brilliance is always wasted. My predicament was not as worse as the other, I know. I go for the job that I want, until this morning.
Upon waking up on a weekend, I heard a sermon from my mom, a constant reminder that I needed to do something with my life. A job that will pay the bills, she says. Times are hard, she explains. Not all things cannot be achieved according to your [my] way. I am very well aware that it was a sermon of concern other than a sermon of damnation. She was concerned, she was worried that I might end up with nothing and be nobody else. She was concerned with my welfare, like all moms and parents.
I have been loyal to my shepherd. In fact, I don’t say a word or justify anything when it comes to family concerns. I am submissive and I take things – sermons and reminders as they are. I embrace them. I don’t justify my actions or reason out with my family. I am but a sheep to a shepherd.
Sometimes, I wonder, if I were somebody who did not achieve so much academically, would it be easier for my parents to accept failure from me? Or does it really count? Is pressure lessened if I were a college drop out? Will I be understood? From where I stand?
Pressure pains me. I know it pains them, too to do that. But, I think it is about time to figure things out myself. Decide for myself for my own welfare – for decisions that only I would have to answer to when I fail or succeed. I am grateful for my parents, I really am. At times, one needs to extend and spread his wings to fly. A kid is taught to ride a bicycle with guidance but eventually, rides it on his own.
Sometimes, the best lessons are learnt when experienced. And no matter how many times I break my wings, I know I can fly again and soar even higher. After all, those wings are forged from my parents. I just need to learn how to use them on my own, no strings attached.
Reality bites. I have been telling everyone that I finally found a job to perfectly fit me - my needs and my wants. But still, no matter how hard I strive to get to it, or at least how much effort I put into it, my dream manages to escape and break away my walls of succession.
Here I am, stuck in a very old computer, writing about a story most of you would not even relate to or care to read. Who would have wanted to read a depressed twenty-year-old who is unemployed, confused and broken? Who would have wanted to shoulder other person’s misery when in fact that person could not handle his burden he hopes to unload? Who would want that? Who wants that?
I came from a family of four, from a middle class family. We don’t have much but we are happy with what we have. I have an older sister and I am the youngest in the family. Growing up, we were nurtured and we were guided accordingly. I can say that now I am a grown-up, I am very much instilled with good values.
I was a consistent honors student. Even in my early days, I was seen competing in quiz bees and inter-school competitions. Luckily, I won majority of them. Everyone knew that I was going to be the Valedictorian, the crème de la crème of the batch, which I became after six years of primary schooling. I did not feel the pressure growing up to accomplish the things that I accomplished. I was showered with love and care from my parents and my sister. I wanted to give them that prestige of having a son and a brother, who gave his best in the academic field since I was not the type to bring home medals from sports. I was lame. I was never athletic, that I knew for sure.
The sweep for academic excellence went on and on. I did have a rough start during my high school days but nevertheless got the second highest distinction from our batch. I was the class Salutatorian, and I knew that I made them proud. I pursued college and passed the UPCAT, and was eventually enrolled to the country’s top state university, University of the Philippines, where I took BA Art Studies (Interdisciplinary program) in three and a half years, which earned another academic distinction - cum laude. I knew that at that point, I could not even made them more proud of me. I did all of those for them more than for myself. At that point, I could have never felt more fulfilled in my life.
Right there and then, I thought it was enough to actually exceed my flaws and my shortcomings over those accomplishments. I never expected that it would raise the bar of expectations even more.
I requested and I told my parents that I would rest for a while since I graduated sooner than expected. They agreed and during that time, I was doing nothing for as long as I could remember – doing things I never got to explore more and never got to do since all I did was study and come home early, which were all on my own volition. They supported me all through out even if we were not as well off as the others. They were supportive. I got the best parents God could ever give me.
The time has come to face the real world, the corporate world. The dog-eat-dog world. I was the bait, a vulnerable fresh graduate seeking for employment. Lucky enough, I got to be employed in a call center, a top caliber call center in the Philippines, Etelecare International. The graveyard schedule and the routine work gave me the chills to pursue a different career. After nine months, I have had it. It was time to do a work different from the usual. All through out this time, my family remained very supportive, reminding me and guiding me of what I wanted to do but still letting me decide, somehow.
I got a second job from Thames International Business School, which became a ground for me to know a lot of friends and further my skills in mingling with people. I was assigned in the Admissions Department, helping applicants and future students during exams, interviews and enrolment. From that experience, I became multi-tasker times two. I loved the job but my boss was toxic, my immediate supervisor, that is. So no matter how hard I was trying to prove myself, politics overshadowed my performance, aside from the piles of work remained undone by those workers who became before me. There was no order, no system and could not endure having to deal with irate parents and callers everyday. For that, I resigned.
I got the job description that I wanted in my latest job. It was a dynamic industry, it was in the filed of publishing. A small company, I got exposed to different working environment. I got to meddle with fields I never knew existed. I enjoyed what I was doing. I loved it. I was molded and I got to realize my niche already. But as much as I wanted to pursue and stay, the company closed. The publisher decided to end and put a stop after the second issue. The second issue was never published, but I have heard that it will be published. I do now know when though.
I saw myself jobless again, an achiever not going anywhere. The irony of having to be brilliant but not having to find a job he wants. It was turmoil. It was chaos. It was a roller coaster emotional imbalance – of guilt, of frustration and of pressure.
I was once told that brilliance is never to be wasted. But here, brilliance is always wasted. My predicament was not as worse as the other, I know. I go for the job that I want, until this morning.
Upon waking up on a weekend, I heard a sermon from my mom, a constant reminder that I needed to do something with my life. A job that will pay the bills, she says. Times are hard, she explains. Not all things cannot be achieved according to your [my] way. I am very well aware that it was a sermon of concern other than a sermon of damnation. She was concerned, she was worried that I might end up with nothing and be nobody else. She was concerned with my welfare, like all moms and parents.
I have been loyal to my shepherd. In fact, I don’t say a word or justify anything when it comes to family concerns. I am submissive and I take things – sermons and reminders as they are. I embrace them. I don’t justify my actions or reason out with my family. I am but a sheep to a shepherd.
Sometimes, I wonder, if I were somebody who did not achieve so much academically, would it be easier for my parents to accept failure from me? Or does it really count? Is pressure lessened if I were a college drop out? Will I be understood? From where I stand?
Pressure pains me. I know it pains them, too to do that. But, I think it is about time to figure things out myself. Decide for myself for my own welfare – for decisions that only I would have to answer to when I fail or succeed. I am grateful for my parents, I really am. At times, one needs to extend and spread his wings to fly. A kid is taught to ride a bicycle with guidance but eventually, rides it on his own.
Sometimes, the best lessons are learnt when experienced. And no matter how many times I break my wings, I know I can fly again and soar even higher. After all, those wings are forged from my parents. I just need to learn how to use them on my own, no strings attached.
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