Of Life and Death, Shoosh...

Beyonce, Beyonce!

2008-11-24T07:13:00.001-08:00

I got this image as well as the one below from www.dlisted.com and let me just say, it's freakin' hot and smoking, in a weird way. I can't say I love the "chimes shades" that she was wearing but it looked acceptable. I just can't imagine wearing the glasses in Alaska. I might die from infection and not from shivers. Those pointy, shiny, deadly blinding tools can poke my eyes straight out I'll die from bleeding.

This is one lesson I will instill in me for good. Comfort over fashion. Functionality over image. Safety first over fad.

I love Beyonce. And I accept the fact that she's doing us a favor - what not to buy during the lowest of your lows. But I think she's the only one who can only pull this off. Gees, I won't even get this for free. It's creepy. And you don't wanna go there. It's like having four nipples attached to your testicles. It's that icky. Period. But it's just me.

Whatever girlfriend. She's Beyonce. Whatever floats your boat.

A Royal Treat from Prince William

2008-11-24T06:41:00.000-08:00

I was just going to check my mail and my facebook as well as my friendster accounts, but these shocking photos just drew me out of my shell to prove true the so-called images. I got this information from a site I usually go to for gossips and for the fashion sense he exhibits - bryanboy.com.

Well, I ended up going to the link - hopefully with no viruses and saw the entire set (set of 3's I think) of the Prince's intimate time with himself - if you ever think that pissing is such a holy and inviolate deed for such.

For the purpose of respect (self-righteousness, to some, haha), people who are interested can go to this LINK to treat yourself with royal but soon evanescent image of him.

Paparazzis sure are weasels that will do whatever to sell an exclusive set of photos. But as soon as there are people like us who somehow get intrigued and catered to these people, they will remain creeping in the shadows, and a click away from an awkward but indulging photos.

I think I can't let go of the guilty pleasure yet. But I will keep trying. In the meantime, the photos can satisfy the voyeurism in us but he's still a prince. You cannot get a royal treat twice!

Dirty Skin?

2008-11-18T08:10:00.000-08:00

Much to the shock of everyone, this guy, let's just call him Ira Luna, has decided to call me thru my extension and come right on, lambasting not only my personality but also my work ethics. Apparently, he is a human machine gun. He shoots but never eyes on the target. He started accusing me of how offensive I was and how I kept on targeting him, insinuating that I did that on purpose to look like he was not doing his job right. He then continued on with such profanity that I was going to rot in the company I am working for as he is going to leave the company and go to the States. Much to my thinking, how did it ever become the point of argument. Clearly, he was getting all personal. He came so personal that he even said to me how dirty my skin was.

Dirty skin friends. Yes, dirty skin. I tried to grasp the meaning of what he said. Dirty skin. I tried to get the connotative and denotative meaning but in no way I could comprehend what he meant. Even with much recollection and reflection over this statement and a few hot flashes in my head (Spell furious), I could not help but wonder, is dirty skin a term to fret about? Or did those two words come out as fillers that completed a so called intellectual statement?

Gees, I guess I better scrub my body double time until it reddens to relieve myself of dirty skin. But then again, why would I give him such satisfaction when in fact he is the only one who thinks so. I must admit, I may not have the perfect skin. I may have zits and acne over my face. A few big ones at times they cover up a big chunk of my face, but I refuse to be branded as one with a dirty skin. Or whatever he means by it.

I guess it will just be plain mystery how these two words came about. I had no plans of dwelling into such shallowness and had no intentions of impugning his phone etiquette as he clearly has none to begin with. I better not indulge myself with so much bickering.

My parents taught me better. I just hope he wakes up someday, gets his senses back, rediscovers himself and hopefully not get his own share of unpleasant behavior. A poison is still a poison.

So to Ira Luna, you owe your parents good manners. You owe them at least that. Please try to pick a lesson or two from this incident.

A dirty skin (with a big question mark) is clearly better than a tainted soul. May God guide you for a better life ahead.

P.S.

Thanks to all my friends who supported me in this interesting "commotion". I guess we can all laugh about it and use this as somewhat a joke over a cup of coffee at Starbucks or elsewhere. I love you guys!

Lazy Saturday

2008-11-15T05:03:00.000-08:00

I spent practically the entire day in front of my computer watching video streaming over the net. And I would say that my nape got stiff staring at my laptop screen for hours. You could say that I enjoyed every second of it more so than regretting it.

It was so refreshing to just bum around, sit on my touche with my legs crossed, lay on the bed against my chest while my forearms resting on a comfy pillow and watch all day. Not really in that order.

Awkward silence just works every once in a while. Doing and thinking of nothing. Not stressing on things in particular. Just going with the flow, just as the wind blows to where it pleases.

Indulging on such lazy Saturday is pure fun. But unproductive. Who says it has to be so?

Ultimate Food Trip

2008-11-05T07:23:00.000-08:00

There was this one thing on my mind when I went back to Las Islas Filipinas for a short vacation. I believe that one word to describe the experience was INDULGE. Indulge on everything, most especially with all the Filipino food stuff that I missed living in a country known for its chili sauce, satay, chili crab and noodles - Singapore.

I made it a point to list down in my head the food cravings and the fast food to visit to silence my stomach from its forever long rally over good Filipino food.

Who would not want that fresh bibingka on this very BER month? That one sumptuous food delight famous during the festive Christmas season. Thanks to my loving father and my gracious mother who continue to spoil us whenever we come back home to the province - Nueva Ecija, with all those food delicacies we want. They would always buy, prepare and take home to their children the unique and the most sought after food superstars in my entire hometown - balut, hokbo, day-old chicks, sampelot with the yummy inangit, chicharon, relyenong bangus, crispy pata, sinampalukang manok with fresh sampalok shoots, barbeque-d liempo, tiim na manok, itlog na maalat, etc. Thanks Pa and Ma! You're the best parents ever, even to this yummy bibingka. :)

Of course, it doesn't end there. A trip to the Philippines will be worthless if you miss out on going to our fast food trademark - Jollibee. The world famous isa pa, isa pang chickenjoy and the oh-so-sinful jolly hotdog will be worth the trip over and over and over again. Jollibee is my Mecca - my inner peace.

And yes, the jolly hotdog. The famous to go meal. The ultimate youth food. So yummy it diminishes your life span. Who cares. As long as I die happy, hehe. Who can resist the grates of cheese on top, the soft bread and the brown hotdog made of I don't know what and I don't care ingredients. .

I never forgot to visit Chowking fast food as well. Chinese food with that tinge of Filipino touch. In case you're wondering, it is all quite the same. Or worse. Considering that this is part of Jollibee corporation, this must have been the bottom-est and the lousiest of all worst combined. The lousy service, the long queue over the cashier, the waiting of the food to be served, the unfriendly staff and the busy environment. The infamous food chain still has got it. And please, I forgot to take photos of the food we ordered. Good thing I saw this sign board on the way to the province.

If not for the bochi, I would have burned the fast food outlet and Robinson's Galleria with it. (In my head - this will not spoil my vacation).

I miss the food already. Hmmm. I better stop.

I can't wait to come home again and schedule the gastronomical kiosk experience next time - the isaw, the fishball, the bread with cheese, the korn kernels in a cup with cheese powder, balut, dirty ice cream and a lot more - Peyups style. :P

Trash Talk

2008-11-04T07:14:00.000-08:00

In a world where the superficial seems to rule over the human psyche, it just makes it more difficult to find for a long lost love. Or is it really?

You just don't simply bump around somebody and feel the spark of attraction instantly, at that very moment. And more often than not, the preference will not necessarily translate to the other person's liking. I guess love just doesn't come along easily. It just doesn't work in a snap. It has to be made with the right ingredients - all mixed together to come up with one zesty, jolty and consummate concoction.

A lot had tried. A lot had failed. A few had succeeded or so I think.

Some feel it in a positive and creative way while some treat it as some jarred to the heart all the way to the brain. Maybe there are just people meant to spend their lifetime alone. People who somewhat find gratification and solace within their own skin. Within their beings. Maybe this love thing is only limited to those who believed. To those who have faith in it.

I would like to think I belong to the latter. I need to be. I gotta be.

A quintessential believer of love to come not so far from now.

Cupid, if you ever hear me, deliver my heart to the person who will take care of it in this lifetime and to the next - a perennial lover.

Too Much Network Sites

2008-11-03T06:57:00.000-08:00

It was not long ago that I realized that maintaining a LOT of network sites can really be overwhelming. It takes a lot of hard ass work and a lot of time uploading the photos to each one to make everything current.

Heck, I am tired today and I don't even have the luxury to put all things in order for each account that I have. Did I mention I have more than five? Gees, I need to seriously ponder on this. It's eating so much of my time. I am turning into a BIG LOSER freak.

I just got back from my flight from the Philippines to Singapore and will start working again tomorrow. I need to sleep early tonight. There will be bloodshed tomorrow. A lot of blood and pending work load, which I am not looking forward to doing. But I have to deal with it sooner or later.

I think I just have to turn the table around and make it, how do I say it, hmm - MANAGEABLE. Just the same thing I have to do for those network sites that I have accounts under, over, whatever.

I gotta play it uber-smart. But before anything else. I need to sleep. I would have to postpone and procrastinate it until tomorrow. Same goes for my long to do list.

*DISCLAIMER
The above photo and the one below do not in any way relate to this blog entry. I just found them in my photo archive and thought of sharing these two. We secretly took these photos inside the movie house. Thanks to Paula's ever reliable camera it captured the attitude and ferociousness in us. No antagonists and envy souls please.

David Beckham what?

2008-11-02T06:59:00.000-08:00

Look how internet can keep you busy these days. With just a few searches and clicks, you get to access all the information you want. Except for porn I think, as this needs a valid Credit Card for a few bucks that's clearly a rip off from your finances.

On to my point.

Beckham got my attention for his Emporio Armani Underwear ad campaign when I was browsing the GQ Magazine in a salon. I didn't know how old this was but this obviously depicted the holy grail of all underwear ad campaigns.

I actually have no intention to look for David Beckham's photos online on this. But I could not help and do so when I read this gossip that Posh Spice (Victoria) had just been signed for a USD20M contract to do the same for Armani. Curiosity got me. I saw myself yahoo-ing the male Beckham.

And BAM! In awe, Beckham is really sexy. Everything seems perfect. Hmm, is everything real? Especially this shot. Or do we account this photo to good adobe photoshop? Or the old school method? Nevermind.

I must give it to him, and to the photographer. The black and white shots for underwear campaigns really do the trick.

If the underwear does not cost as much as a suit, I would really buy them. But then again, I am NOT that rich to buy them. I would recommend this to Superman though. They might be immune to kryptonite.

I wonder if Posh Spice can give justice to her photoshoot. I wonder if she can create the same impact as her husband. Or even surmount David's charms. She's so skinny. I hope she pulls it off.

Damn, Elle spells F-I-E-R-C-E!

2008-11-02T06:43:00.000-08:00

As part of my diversion tactics to shake off the gloomy feeling before flying off tomorrow, I saw this photo of Elle Macpherson on the web when she attended the premier night of the Quantum of Solace in London.

Damn, this 44-year-old woman still has the goods to knock the boys and men (but not me, please) dead on the floor. Hard! (Pun intended) This woman sure knows the basics of dressing up.

I guess that background in modeling keeps you ahead of the pack. I don't think botox and mesotherapy can make you this hot, unless you have a skimpy body hugging outfit with a super hot piece of ass!

Way to go girl! All hail Elle and her fierce-ness.

Last Night

2008-11-02T06:19:00.000-08:00

It saddens me that I have to go back to Singapore again after this 7-day-vacation in Manila, Philippines. It kind of rips my heart apart that I have to pack everything again in my ever reliable luggage and start the vicious cycle of working my ass off.

I think this is what happens when you go back home. You get energized and look forward to be with your family, savor the "only in the Philippines" food trips, the his and hellos to rekindle the relationship with your closest friends, the frantic and endless shopping and so much more.

But after you have gone thru the checklist and the days just come closer by the minute and it's time to leave again, you just feel the anxiety attack.

The usual program line ups you started to get used to.

The Filipino food.

The peculiar Manila urban lifestyle.

The shopping sprees, the cheap and reliable facials.

The simple rural beat.

The hugs, the kisses and the silly family baloney talk.

All of which I will miss again when my plane takes off tomorrow.

(Deep Breaths.)

I need a diversion. I need to browse the net.

Taxi Dreadful Driver

2008-10-29T10:27:00.000-07:00

I need to get this off my chest. It was just a horrendous experience going home after watching the Nights in Rodanthe movie.

I had to take a cab to get home since I was so lazy and scared to take other modes of transportation here in the Philly (Philippines). As expected, I hailed, got in a cab and told the driver where home was. I gave him directions and all that stuff. I was guessing he knew where I lived and he was only playing dumb so his taxi meter can just charge and charge me if I agree for the longer route.

I wasn't agreeable to it. I was ready to fight back, politely by giving him directions. Even if it takes throughout the entire trip just so he couldn't hustle me, I was willing to do it.

So there. I gave him clear directions and guess what. He told me that there was a traffic jam in the area and he wanted us to take an alternate route, a long and dark one. So okay, I agreed to go via Julia Vargas Avenue just so he can shut up and drive. I was playing along with him.

Hello, Mister Taxi Driver! Traffic Jam in the middle of the night, almost midnight and still a traffic jam? Are you kidding me? I am from this area, who are you fooling? All these ran thru my head and for the sake of a peaceful ride, I nodded and said yes to his suggestions.

And then after, he insinuated again that it would be traffic and wanted us to go around the Ultra Astrodome route. One of his brilliant suggestions. He also threatened me to just get out and find another cab to take me home if I say otherwise. I told him no and just stick with the Julia Vargas route.

And then the unexpected happened. He then repeated that I should just get another cab to take me home if I won't agree.

It was my threshold. I stepped out of the cab, told him that if that's what he wanted, then fine. I banged the door never looked back and hailed another cab to take me home. I didn't pay for anything. Why would I? He never dropped me at my destination. He was an asshole, why would I encourage such behavior.

The nerve of this cab driver! How can he do such a thing and just keep on suggesting things that will not be beneficial for me. Gees, now I understand why he is still a taxi driver. I wouldn't even wonder if he gets caught for theft or something. Who knows, he might have been plotting this act all along.

It's always discouraging to see your own kind do such thing to you. Hustle you and take advantage. All for the sake of money. For being greedy for money. It's a pity he does that. I hope he sleeps at night.

I just hope he reflects one time and recollect on all these things he had done to his own kind. Then change for all our sakes. He needs to. If he stays a prick forever, then he just might get what he deserves - KARMA.

Nights in Rodanthe, Bravo!

2008-10-29T09:36:00.000-07:00

Nicholas Sparks sure lives up to his reputation of touching the lives of his readers and audiences with such a heartfelt story line. I don't know about the book, but the movie sure pierced my heart big time. I am sure the readers would think otherwise as the infamous comparison between the book's story line is a whole lot better than that of the movie's. Heck, I liked it. Period. No contradictions.

I guess that kilig factor (sort of like love chills) is credited to Diane Lane and Richard Gere's reunion since the Unfaithful movie. Their magic just doesn't go off on screen. Richard Gere is still as charming as ever.

The movie is pretty straight forward. Adrienne (Lane) and Paul (Gere) were both divorced and were living miserable lives, sort of - dealing with their own personal struggle. They met at an old inn in Rodanthe, South Carolina (I guess, since the initials were S.C.) where Adrienne stood in for her close friend Jean, and Paul as the only guest who had paid double the price to have him accommodated for a few days. This was basically the place where all of the good stuff happened. The movie continues on and I will stop now because I might spoil the very touching ending if I don't shut up. So things happened. And then, you should see the movie for details. - winks, winks -

Anyways, the movie's message was very clear. Love just happens when you least expect it. Love just slithers its way to the heart and works around what's left from the previous heartbreak. It amends and repairs and betters the feeling the second time.

Love deserves a second chance. Everyone does. A person might not see how important and beautiful you are, but in the eyes of a person loving, everything just tells it all. I will borrow the line from Adrienne's dialogue and it goes something like, "you deserve a love that keeps you better".

She is right. We love at certain degrees. A one-way love doesn't warrant happiness. It has to be unrequited felt by both parties. The love that sees it all. The love that keeps you smile in your trying times. A love that sees the light in the darkness. A love that is pure, untainted.

The movie just reassured me of one thing - that even a hopeless romantic like me who might have been hurt before from a previous experience is up for something bigger in the future - a love to keep me better.

Sorry for being cheesy. I am a hopeless romantic, what can you do? :P

Harry Potter Question

2008-10-29T09:20:00.001-07:00

I know a lot of Harry Potter fans will hate me for this. They may want me dead or alive. But I'd post it anyways.

I saw a photo taken of Malfoy (don't know the correct spelling, so not worth googling) and Harry Potter earlier this morning. I was browsing thru the pages online and ta-da! This photo appeared. And boy, it was such a morning treat. It wasn't daring but rather controversial.

Reserve your OH-MY-GODS and What-the-f!@#! Here you go.

What if the two were lovers? What if the rivalry was just a front to conceal the relationship at Hogwarts. I don't know. It was just a thought. Nobody can even claim if it can happen, unless of course J.K. Rowling reads this and sends me a personal message.

J.K. Rowling, I haven't read the books, girl. I could use some free stuff here. Drop me a line. I would be happy to reply. :)

ANTM, Jumped the Shark?

2008-10-28T21:12:00.000-07:00

For ANTM (America's Next Top Model) show, I just read a few minutes ago that the show has officially jumped the shark. Well, I actually didn't know what it meant. Until I read the entire article.

For serious media critics, a show has officially jumped the shark when it has reached its limit. It's climax. And when a producer or a show struggles to outdo and outshine the previous cycles/seasons and it somewhat turns out corny, it's considered suicide.

They have a point. The futuristic stints and the silver jumpsuits didn't really pull it off during the pilot episode. It was more of an act of desperation over innovation. Who would do such plot. It was more of an anime than a top model search.

Tyra needs to do some serious thinking for plots and stints. I like the ANTM show more than anyone in the world. Or maybe I am just exaggerating. But modesty aside, she needs to go back to her roots and rock the world again.

After all, she doesn't need all those woo-haa shenanigans. She does need to realize that the focus is on how to groom a top model and not to turn the show into a circus.

I was trying to upload a photo for this blog. For some reason, it WOULD NOT UPLOAD. Heck. No photo for this blog. Stupid connection or whatever. Period.

Blah-ging!

2008-10-28T08:37:00.000-07:00

I had not been writing these past couple of days. I don't know if it was just plain burn-out or my pure sleaziness that made me not commit to writing.

Every time I go back home from work, I felt so drained. Drained from doing so much things that I enjoyed watching television and playing a facebook game every night to de-stress myself and condition again to working the next day over blogging, which obviously needed some thinking. At times, serious thinking.

My brain cells could not handle the thinking part anymore. So there, I gave up on blogging. More of like a Coke commercial over a very good program, say - America's Next Top Model. Hihihi. Meaning a temporary and expected commercial.

Now, I am back with a vengeance. And I think I owe a lot of blogging over the long unannounced sabbatical. A lot of exciting experiences happened along the way. So, fret no more. Blogs are on the way. Especially now that I am on vacation, hihi.

I just need a little time to compose my thoughts, gather them and construct them into sentences.

So from blah-ging to serious blogging, I am getting there, soon. :)

It's Edge Night

2008-10-20T08:27:00.000-07:00

Today was just those days I had to reflect on certain aspects of my life. I think at this stage I have all the right to just sail away for a bit and forget the world. Sit down. Stare at the window pane. Listen to the music. Forget everything in my head and waste time. Just being still.

I guess being so worn out from work helps to just idle around and enjoy the time for myself.

I am writing this entry while listening to Snow Patrol's "Chasing Cars". Over and over again. I know it's not the right lyrics to ponder on. But I find the rhythm very relaxing. It kind of draws me in and helps me find my centre these days, magnifying the "forget the world" part of the song. It's my version of yoga.

Winks. Winks.

I guess the moon is blue again.

It's nothing night.

It's just plain blah-blahs and yada-yadas.

It's the time I detach myself from everything again.

Enjoy my peace and quiet. Just blank. Just myself.

It's Edge Night.

Bangkok Pilgrimage

2008-10-19T08:25:00.001-07:00

Bangkok may be a shopping haven to most of the tourists visiting the country. Little do a few know that this country is a home as well for pilgrimage. Predominantly Buddhist, Bangkok has more than 30,000+ temples, seen and distributed throughout the city.

Our second day itinerary was dedicated in frequenting the best, not to mention the most visited temples and religious sites not only for tourists but for locals as well. It was a must to engage ourselves in this cultural immersion. We had to partake and involve ourselves in experiencing this one of a kind trip, this adventure.

So in preparation for this so-called pilgrimage, we had to stuff a lot of carbs so we could walk, trek, run, climb or do whatever physical activity needed to keep up with our itinerary.

The first thing in my mind was stuffing up. In a more formal term - gluttony. Please do not be mistaken, the food on my plate was just a primer on what they offered. I went for breakfast themes. This my friends was what American breakfast was all about. I did a couple of trips back to the buffet table to try some other food offerings there. My photo was just the first of my 3 rounds, hihi.

Breakfast was just plain yummy. A lot of choices from breads to cereals to porridges to rice to main courses. You name it. They got it. They had a lot to choose from, except for ice cream. Who would want ice cream in the morning? Who in the world would ask for an ice cream early in the morning? Even children know better. Chris and Chars, can you even imagine? Haha.

After the sumptuous meal and four bulging stomachs, we still managed to have a good photo taken. The oh-so-good-food needs a perfect complement - a photo for keepsake. So after eating, we could not resist the Bangkok charm. There was nothing better than the Bangkok breeze touching your face after a sinful breakfast. Pure Bangkok air from a 43rd floor balcony of what once considered the tallest building in Thailand - Baiyoke Suites. It was almost orgasmic. But then again, I can only imagine.

After a few snapshots and a heavy breakfast, we started our trip for the day. The trip to the Chao Phraya River. The river that keeps Thailand on the map for trade. Our Tour Guide - Mr. Bank was saying that the river was very clean though the water was murky. The reason behind it was that water comes straight from the mountains down to Thailand. So there was no time for the water to clear.

We had the chance to get in a boat and journey the long stretch of the river. We had seen variety of temples on our way to Wat Arun - Temple of Dawn. The temples were really lavish structures. Very well built and the details were just unbelievable. Bangkok is indeed one darn place to visit. Those temple structures I only saw in books were in front of me. Real ones. My eyes were feasting and twinkling. I was just gazing at them, in plain awe.

The trip was reinforced with so much eureka moments when we got to Temple of Dawn - Wat Arun. This is a photo of me doing the traditional Thai pose. Can you see the designs of the temple? I did mimic the pose. And boy I was so awkward. But who cares. I still look fierce. Period. No objections.

After each of our solo photos taken, we of course would not dare to leave the place without our group photo. Sharing this experience with friends just doubled the "unforgetfulness" of this experience. It maybe hot climbing the stairs and moving around the premises. But no matter how scorching hot the sun was, for some reason, it became tolerable. Getting a tan from going around Wat Arun was something anybody could NOT do everyday, except if you were working there.

After the sunbathing at the temple task at Wat Arun, we needed to stuff ourselves again. We took our lunch at a local restaurant and ate our stomachs out. We still had to go to the famous "Four-Face Buddha" destination to conclude our Bangkok Pilgrimage. We heard from our Tour Guide that it was the place to go for well-wishers and people who needed some divine help from Buddha.

We all offered flowers and incenses to the Four Face Buddha. We all had our open mind to try and respect their faith. We all did what we were instructed to do. We did what we were told. We followed the instructions in praying and asking for our wishes to be granted.

It was a solemn experience. It gave me the added kick I needed to assure myself and prove to myself that I needed it. It gave me that other aura for respect for other religion and the knack in blending with others without prejudice.

After visiting the place, we all felt revitalized. We left the place with so much respect and tranquility.

Bangkok is just simply amazing.

Lookie! Lookie!

2008-10-19T01:44:00.000-07:00

I bought something a bit expensive last week. And now that I have thought about it, it wasn't much of an impulse. It was an investment for me to look good at the upcoming event from work.

Behold, my suit.

For the record, this is not as expensive as CK or Hugo Boss suits. This is mediocre to say the least. But the fit. Oh yes, the fit is worth a million dollars. It was that fit that made me buy it. The cut of the sleeves, the hem lines and the details.

This is way better than orgasm.

The day that I bought was the time my libido went off the meter - 1. for being expensive and 2. for feeling that it was made for me.

I'll take a good snap shot when I am in it. I don't want to spoil the fun and post it here this soon.

Yes, I am a spoilsport at times. :)

No more be delicious, Hello Happy!

2008-10-17T10:31:00.001-07:00

Well, since I had started a Metrosexual talk, let me go ahead and share with you my little secret. I had gone ahead and purchased a new scent for myself. Not because I did not want my DKNY scent anymore. I recently bought a new bottle of perfume because I missed my original scent. The one that I used before DKNY.

I miss my old scent back. That tinge of citrus mixed with that light and refreshing scent, not too strong, but strong enough to make an impression. I miss the happy days. My Clinique Happy for Men scent.

I so miss it. But I don't think I miss the price. It's more expensive than the DKNY perfume now. Hmm, but I guess it's worth it. It's better than the putrid smells of the slaughterhouses. Or the smell of sweat after running without taking a bath and going straight to work. Much much better. Way better.

P.S.

The Metro's (name of the department store) tag line is so nice and suave. Are you a serial shopper? I must admit it's a good one from them.

My New Me

2008-10-17T09:05:00.000-07:00

My last Friday night was spent thinking of my own shopping list. It actually hit me when I looked at my open cabinet and my toiletries. It was just then that I came to realize that I only had a few vain essentials. Yep, a few to put on my face and things that I use for hygienic purposes.

Well, I am happy to announce that little by little, somehow, I am beginning to fit all the pieces together. The entire ensemble is not complete though. I must say that my baby steps progress are quite remarkable - from nothing to a few must haves that can be recommended to friends. My hunt for hygiene essentials is on!

I am not getting any younger. No matter how much denial face and the "I-am-so-young-face" I make every time I look myself in the mirror, that pesky gravity just justifies that everything is meant to age. That said, it made me think on how I can delay the aging process. I am 25 years old already. And I read from some magazine that this age is the birth of wrinkles! Damn, I am only beginning to explore my life and they would say that mean thing to me. I barely even exercised my right to get laid!

So having this said, I need to counter skin-aging. So I went to this Body Shop outlet in Toa Payoh, Singapore to look around. Funny enough, they have all different and new range of products. This was the second time that I got confused since my sexuality question mark! Haha.

From head to toe, they all have it. All new, all packaged nicely and with all different scents. Good thing there was a sales assistant to explain everything that I touched. Guys, spare me the question. I do frequent shops like this, but I didn't just have the interest to buy them before as I thought these were just fabricated by cosmetic companies to rob from ignorant, self-centered and egoistic people like Jennifer Lopez.

Bull Shit. I think I will be part of that ignorant population that patronizes skin products. Yeah, somehow and for some reason I need it. I can't have my skin taken for granted. It was just now that I need more than that Vitamin E Eye Cream that I bought from them a month and a half ago. I need to moisturize, too. A healthy skin is a moisturized skin. And get a lotion to revitalize that glow in me. Gees, how pathetic. I am talking about a glowing skin now. (winks, winks)

So I ended up being ripped, $50+ less than my credit limit for buying the Vitamin E Moisturizer and the lotion. Good thing I liked the effects of Body Shop's Vitamin E Eye Cream I am willing to try the entire line of Vitamin E products they have. Well, not maybe entirely now but soon. If I find the effects really working, I will start recommending them. And who knows, I might be their spokesperson or their Ambassador just like Halle Berry to Revlon and Christina Aguilera for MAC. (hihihi)

So to BODY SHOP, please contact me. I need a sponsor. I need supplies. Email or drop me a message. Or something.

CODE : MOLE MEETING

2008-10-14T09:43:00.000-07:00

Today had just been plain depressing. From the moment I stepped foot on our dear office, everything just felt wrong. I guess there are just days when the world just falls on you. Sometimes you catch it with your head - a total clash, and there are just days that you seem to make do with the situation.

I don't know why I was feeling down today. I never got the chance to momentarily ponder on it and have some quiet time with myself. I only noticed the four gigantic pimples growing on my face fast. They have their own heartbeats. I was so scared I might give birth to four kids soon! But other than that, everything just became one big, gray of blur surrounding my bubble.

Sighs.

I have not felt the acne presence for quite a while now. Maybe it's just because of stress at work that these babies of mine just keep on waking up from under my pores. I so don't want them. I can't wait to ripe them up and squeeze them in between my thumbs so they can burst out and heal quickly, hahaha. I know, it's a no-no. Just wishful thinking.

On to my story. I logged off from work 30 minutes past my working hours. I waited for Elijah (known to his friends as Fifi) to finish his whatevers. I accompanied him to the clinic downstairs to have his mouth sore checked, which according to the doctor was an ulcer. Whew. Singaporean doctors sure know how to alarm and frighten the hell out of their patients. Even though we had our second thoughts, Elijah got his prescription, went to the toilet and started applying the topical lotion for the inside of his mouth.

Miraculously, it worked. It made his mouth numb, including his tongue. But we still continued to chit chat while waiting for Ching downstairs so we could have dinner together. They knew I was depressed.

After a few siew mais (steamed minced pork wrapped in wanton wrapper) and bochi (a Chinese food difficult to describe - a soft fried thingy, fried with sesame seeds and filling inside), Ching our "disabled" friend met us. After 10 light years.

We were undecided at first where to go for dinner. Since Fifi could not take Japanese food, we ended up with the oh so famous fast food we could find - Burger King. It was always fun to unwind with friends. Talk non-sense, gossip and laugh the heart out over french fries and burgers. We ate everything we ordered. It was decent but not heavenly alright. But with friends, ordinary food becomes sumptuous feast for the Gods. You always appreciate the company and the effort.

We spent a few hours sitting over our empty trays and left overs sharing funny experiences, work related stuff but stress-free and all the yada-yadas. Prince also joined us after a few hours. We just saw him walking around the area. He joined the fun and the silly antics. Three was a crowd. But four was a riot. I had a blast. I even forgot my depression.

Thanks to my friends they got me through this day happy.

This photo is extra special. It's very rare to see four friends sharing the camera lens together, with our moles complementing each other's faces.

One tag line to say for this photo - Look at our moles!

What constellation sign do we remind you of? Hihi.

Modelesque Pose

2008-10-13T09:10:00.000-07:00

Well by now you should know that my friends and I support one another. And being friends with these retards (haha), we all have a way to de-stress in dire moments we need to do so.

We are photo addicts. We always take photos if and when necessary. Which is all the time. Remember the story of Marky's suit and how he wanted it badly? We managed to take a photo of him before trying it. Well, it turned out he was not the only one who had a picture in the fitting room jungle. The reason why he didn't have a photo with the suit on was because AJ and I were pre-occupied taking photos of our solo selves.

Yes, with all the boxes and with the hullabaloos, she managed to take a good artsy-farsty snap of myself. And boy, she was very proud it. And I am, too. Not only for her beautiful shot but also about the oh-so-wonderful subject. Ahem. Me.

Given the environment and the place we were in, which was a public place, mind you, she managed to take a good shot. With all the trash clothes stacked and some trash as background, she still managed to get them to complement me. And good thing this guy mannequin was at the background, too my reflection looked so flawless. The arched back. The legs. The arms.

Very modelesque. And yes, I am narcissistic. I so love myself. Get over it.

Saturday Shopping Bonding - Marcky's Suit Story

2008-10-13T08:09:00.000-07:00

Life in Singapore has always been this "flash"-paced. You wake up, go to work, work your ass off (do some overtime work WITHOUT pay), go home, eat, watch TV, surf, go to bed and sleep. Then the cycle just goes on again, not necessarily in that order, but more or less the same without fail. So if you have the opportunity to bond with friends, you take advantage.

I take advantage. Always work and no play makes Eric a dull boy.

I spent my Saturday afternoon after my half day work with AJ (she's a girl) and Marcky. It was AJ's first week-end off and she wanted to spend time with us, models (hehe) as it was a while when we last had our serious bonding moment. The others had work and the rest had prior engagements. So the three of us ended up together.

We met at HDB Hub, Toa Payoh and from there we went straight ahead to Orchard Road - Tangs Mall after a series of nagging calls from Marcky. (Peace!). We met him at Tangs and he was eyeing on a suit already. He wanted us to see it before anything else. He needed an affirmation before splurging on it.

It was a nice tailored suit. The coat fitted well, except for the sides. Let's just say it was a bit small for his built. So there we were, giving our "whatyouthinks" and honest opinions. And somehow, we persuaded him to at least try and look for something else. Something better. True enough, he listened.

We went to a G2000 store at Wisma to go look for something else. It was a challenge as we never knew where the store was. Can you believe it? So after a few rounds and some luck, we found it. Only to disappoint us. The suits were not on sale. And worse, they were more expensive. A coat could already buy an entire ensemble. So somewhat decided, Marcky finally bit the bullet. He would buy it even the countless reminders of me saying that it was a bit tight.

It was two against one. AJ and Marcky justified the reason for buying it. So even if I was totally disagreeing, they both wanted it. In the end, he bought it. After three trips to Tangs. We did accompany him for the last time in the fitting room and waited for a bit while trying both pieces - the coat and the pants. And here he was before the actual fitting. See below. Can you tell how in love he was with the suit. That nice suit was fitted in a not so nice fitting room, with all the boxes on the sides and next to the couch.

Oh well, Marcky said he will go ahead and diet. So the fit is perfect when he wears them. Well, friends support one another.

So to Marcky, aja!

Team Building was so fun I want to do it again!

2008-10-08T08:51:00.000-07:00

I was looking at our photos during our team building last Saturday and boy, it was so fun to look at.

Photos of me are always the best to look at of course, and the second best would be those photos taken with your co-workers - happy and stress-free.

I actually wanted to write and talk about it but I was just dead busy, even now doing a LOT of stuff - all work related. So plain boring. I better not start. I might not know I am dead if I continue with the knitty-gritty.

It was such a rare experience to come up with a get together with almost all members of the team. We were almost complete. And you know in the office, you will always have your own clique - to share stories with, leave the office premises together with a whole lot gossips to confirm, get on the train together and part ways at the designated alighting stations. But those were set aside and this was just really all about us. Working and doing activities as one big happy family.

This was so fun. This was the first time that we all got together. We spent the dinner over the BBQ pit while waiting for the food to cook . Did a game for the sake of fun and laughter. Did some wacky and outrageous things. No drama. Just plain laughters and stories.

Here is the best photo of the almost complete team that night - us. Aren't we just darlings?

I am so proud of my team. They all are just different colors of the rainbow - all mixed into one to create that beauty we see every after the rain.

Gees, this team building was so fun I can't wait for another one to happen! I am so looking forward to it.

Stress Therapy

2008-10-07T08:47:00.000-07:00

There is nothing better in this small country of Singapore than de-stress together with friends while walking in a nice and fancy mall, full of saliva-drooling retail shops with mouth-watering window displays to entice bystanders after working hours. And yes, I am so ashamed to say that I am but a victim of this fortunate (or unfortunate) scenario - forced to buy something from an irresistible shop. (Like I did NOT like it, hahaha)

Window shopping with friends just shrugs that negative energy off your shoulders. It gives you that freedom to stop, look, stare and eventually buy for things that at times you don't even need at that moment. But it makes you feel good, so refreshed that you just could not stop going from one shop after another, window shopping at first to the point of purchasing at the very end of the mall tour (artistas?).

I spent my after-work-evening with two of my friends - Jaja and Nhinya. I asked them to come with me at Harbour Front to pay homage to that great mall I missed for a few weeks already - Vivo City.

And Viva Vivo City! I was able to visit my ever favorite retail shop that offers nice office attire outfits - Domanchi. This shop at Vivo City was small, but it was easier to find than the one at City Hall. So I went together with my two girlfriends to check the goods. I ended up fitting 3 long sleeved shirts, buying one that I could not resist. It was totally a good buy. It was looking for me.

It was sad and lonely on that shelf, nobody notices it and was happy to see me. The long-sleeved shirt was teary-eyed when it was brought to the cashier counter. I was already decided to buy it. Own it. It was put in a nice box and up til the very minute it got wrapped and put inside the paper bag, it was saying its sincerest thank you. I was touched. This long sleeved shirt I will call Jack Black. Simple. But it rocks. I took a photo of it just so I can share the beauty of this simple piece of clothing.

Nice isn't it? I should be stopping now. I think you guys are freaked out. I am talking about a shirt. And I gave it a name. How sick is that.

Sighs. Heck. It's my blog. I make my own rules.

I am so HOT...

2008-10-03T09:21:00.001-07:00

Today is nothing more than an ordinary day. If you consider packing your office stuff in a box because somebody is to take over your current station, yes, it's rather ordinary. And what spiced this so called transfer up was that I had no permanent station to call mine again, yet. I think the more colloquial and appropriate term is "a hot seater".

Yes folks. I am hot-seating. I am so damn in demand everybody wants me. I wish. This is not a vulgar term. This is not even an inch closer to that. This just sounds sexy but this spells tedious. Imagine yourself setting up everyday or every other day in one station and move on to the next. Gees, if this was a sex trip, it must have been exciting. Promiscuity is a lot more fun than this.

I spent almost an hour stacking up my things in a box. Ooops, sorry. Two and a half boxes, giving priorities to photocopies and personal belongings on top of the never ending papers stacked in them, originally used to fly cans of milk with melamine from China. Kidding.

Good thing I still have the humor to crack myself up with this unfortunate incident. I just hope I get a semi-permanent station so I would not have to shift everyday. Otherwise, it's always hello stranger to me.

I so not deserve this. I am worse than a kitten led astray by an unwanted master. Blindfolded. Out in a cold winter night.

Of course I can only imagine. Singapore doesn't have winter season. I would have to pray for climactic abnormalities and a lot of La Nina for this to happen. And besides, I don't want to be a kitten.

If you know what I mean.

The Heart for Blogging

2008-10-02T09:06:00.000-07:00

I don't know if others feel it, too but for some weird reason, at times when I write about an article or just plain blah-blahs, I sort of feel that somebody writes with me. Or in a more definite description, I go in a state of trance. A surreal feeling but a good one.

Do I creep you out now?

Well, I just have this feeling. I figured I'd share. I was trying to read my past blogs in between writing and messaging friends because I got burnt out after finishing this one long blog for my Bangkok trip. Ironically enough, the blogs that I had written a few years back was so good that I could not help but admire myself. True story.

Damn, I was that good huh. That good I could not even remember what I wrote. More of disbelief. Oh, well, I better stop. I think I was just too engrossed that thoughts just came fluidly, got translated into sentences till they turned into paragraphs. One whole blog.

I figured it was part of the learning curve. That phase where learning just becomes as normal as breathing. As my heart beats, my blog continues. There may be burnt out moments, those heartburns.

But just like the heart, it beats with a rhythm, a pace. A pace that defines and distinguishes me.

Bangkok Fever

2008-09-30T10:06:00.000-07:00

My Bangkok Madness started when I arrived on a Sunday - 21 September 2008, together with my 2 closest friends. After reuniting with Chris in Bangkok, we headed our way in exploring of what Bangkok had to offer us. We couldn't wait to set our sail on this foreign land and feel the Amazing Thailand experience.

Our first stop, Chatuchak Market - the famous week-end market that practically has the best finds you could possibly think of. And I was challenged. So was my ability to bargain.

It was known to be a tourist destination. So haggling was just a norm everyone just needed to follow. There were stalls where my charms worked magic to getting a few baht savings, to reserve for more beautiful items to purchase in the future. But majority of them, I was rather inefficient. I could not work wonders and haggle anymore as the stall owners said those were already discounted and fixed prices. Thanks to my impulsive friends, I could not work a way to lower down the prices a bit. The excitement showed obviously on their faces, the I-will-buy-even-without-the-discount-face.

There were items that I could not resist to buy myself. So instead of putting up false pretenses, I ended up as a hungry wolf. No discounts, no qualms. Just the power of buying. For some so-so ones, no discount, no buy for me. I got a few good stuff for myself. And OH YEAH, I was so proud!

And if you thought we forgot to snap a photo at Chatuchak Market, guess again. We are photo addicts. We don't forget. We just snap, snap and pose, just like professional models. Yep, models. At most times, good ole runway and print ad models. But in trashy days, more like jail prisoners at some isolated country for mug shots. But this one, we look so happy. But not glammed up. Nevertheless, can't complain. Bangkok, baby!

We never got to finish loitering around that big market. I think we were not even close to covering the quarter of the place's land area. My friends were starving and scared to eat street food. Three against one is really against democracy and clearly, the odds were against me. So we went to our next destination - SIAM PARAGON - BANGKOK!

Siam Paragon is the large version of Singapore's own Paragon Mall. It is super world class that even movie houses have VIP screenings that can charge as high as 700 Baht per movie. And that's less than SGD30. FOR a movie. And it did not come with a DVD version after watching it. Besides, they don't serve buffet inside. So it was not worth it.

We decided to dine and eat our heart out after walking the long stretched of stalls at Chatuchak Market. Binge eating was a must as we had more places to go that day. So we did. We ate traditional Thai food at a mall. (Talk traditional alright, haha.) It was the safest and the most logical option for my friends. So I went with them. It was a hearty meal for both my stomach and my eyes. Bangkok was a place for tourists. I mean, you look to your right, you see a tourist. You look to your left, you see the same. It's practically a tourist invasion. It was neat. I was already recharged and ready to go for war exploration. But before that, who wants coffee? :)
Starbucks has become a lifestyle in all parts of the world. Revving up the day with a dose of caffeine has gotten more and more popular. And Bangkok was no stranger to this. And so were we. We idled around at Starbucks, in Bangkok to rest for a bit and enjoy Bangkok air. After dosing up, we went and looked for Siam Ocean World.

After a few inquiries, we were able to pinpoint the place. It was marketed as the biggest ocean world, I was just not sure if it was in Asia or the world. I have had my hopes up. I expected a better Ocean World than the one I saw in Hong Kong and Sentosa, Singapore.

Well, let's just say it was not the best I had seen so far. In all justice to the place, there were some WOW moments and there were also BOO-HOO moments. But it was quite an experience with friends though. All we did was to enjoy and savour the moment spent together and appreciate the things to see. So it called for a lot of picture! picture! Picture, picture, picture meant fun, fun, fun!

Ocean world offered a lot of interesting things to do. And as tourists, we did everything. From viewing the aquariums to riding on a galssboat to watching their very own 4D animation. You name it, we captured and got everything under our sleeves. There was not a single thing we missed in Siam Ocean world. Not one. For that 1000 Baht we paid for, it was all worth the trip.We went around Siam Paragon after that Siam Ocean world experience for ocular satisfaction. We walked around a lot and jumped from one mall to the other. We even managed to watch a movie in between. I didn't know if it was coincidence or not but we chanced upon Nicholas Cage's movie - Bangkok Dangerous. From then on I knew that we were up for more eureka moments in Thailand - both in Bangkok and Pattaya.

The tuk-tuk ride was the highlight of the night. We could not get a cab to bring us back to the hotel and this guy could not help but overhear our bargaining to cab drivers. The drivers wanted to rip and charge us for 100 to 150 baht. And this counter offered for 80 baht. We decided to say yes and experience the adrenaline rush for this ride. All for experience guys! :)

And do you remember the ad of Pierce Brosnan for Visa that was shot in Thailand? Yes, it was that fast and furious. No street rules, no speed limits. Just the tuk tuk driver in his own bubble and us at the back holding on to our dear lives.
We arrived at the hotel in one piece but at the end of it all, we needed to have a photo taken, of us of course. Thanks to the driver's shaky hands, our photo looked like a poster of a Thai horror movie.

My Thailand Primer

2008-09-29T09:06:00.000-07:00

Going to Thailand, I did not expect much. With all that was going on politically, I expected the worst. Bad news spread so fast. Even friends have their say on this and strongly urged us NOT to go. But I did otherwise. We decided to go, with travel insurance of course.

The trip turned out to be the best time of my life so far. The best trip ever. An adventure a guy my age would only dream about.

My trip started with a lot of jittery feelings. Mixed with excitement, as usual, I never got to sleep the night before the actual trip. I even spent my night before attending a surprise party for a friend. I did not drink as I was afraid of the hang over and be held at the airport for being tipsy, or has anyone been held for it? (I thought so.)

Hours before the trip, I was awake. And the time came that I, together with my closest friends needed to go to the airport. It was finally materializing. It was happening already. It was that first step and there was no turning back. We took a cab on the way to the airport. And we were excited. We were ecstatic.

Let's fast forward a bit. We arrived at the airport. We checked in and went around Changi Airport as we were there two hours before our flight - the usual practice. Unfortunately, majority of the shops were closed. So there was nothing much to see or go elsewhere. So we went to an open restaurant - O'brien's to satisfy our stomachs and kill the time. After a few chit chats, a couple of mini bites of the sandwich that we ordered, we finally went to board the aircraft. It was Jet Star, our offical carrier to Bangkok.

It was my first Jet Star experience. And it was rather a mundane but not a ghastly experience. And I was so sleepy that I endured the synthetic leather seat. It did not matter to me at all. But the employees' uniform was very unflattering. It became the issue to me more so than the actual flight experience. It was just a short trip. I was asleep almost the entire time. Good thing I did not end up dreaming about the steward's/stewardess's uniforms. Otherwise, it would have been chaotic and mind bugging. I was asleep on the way to Bangkok.

And an hour and a half plus later, hello Bangkok! Sa-wat-dee krap!

Thailand's airport - Suvarnabhumi Airport was impressive. Considering that it was not air conditioned, it was pretty cold. Thanks to this high tech method of cooling the place with pipes to ventilate it, it was not stuffy. Thailand has exceeded my expectations. It is a city of destination for me. It is a must see country.

And there started my adventure.

Next stop, my Thailand Itinerary.

Thailand Interlude

2008-09-28T06:56:00.000-07:00

I have been planning to write about the Thailand Trip I had together with my closest friends and it has been delayed and delayed as I had to update the photos we had taken, upload and share the files to all four for us. Writing captions to each one was a tedious but rewarding task. But did I say energy sucking task as well? Hehe.

And for the love of God, I had to update my friendster account, too. Updating it is as important as updating my multiply account. Facebook just comes as second priority. That explains the less pictures and less activity to my account. I wonder what happened to my virtual pet -Snowball. Does she still know me? Or has she found another master?

Anyways, I will be writing about my Thailand trip really soon. As I write from experience, I hope to justify Thailand as amazing as it did to us. I hope to satisfy myself above all else. It helps me stroke and build my ego more.

I am still a guy. I need my ego stroked every once in a while. Pathetic. Haha.

Here is a photo that proves how much I love myself. This is just me at the beach. Nothing fancy. But I like it, I look so fierce and effortless. Ahem!

Amazing Thailand!

2008-09-25T08:17:00.000-07:00

Despite of friends telling us NOT to go to Bangkok, Thailand due to some political feud and riot, we (we to include Marky, Chris, Charo and Me) still decided to stick to our plan and push through it.

Yes, my three friends and I considered postponing our trip. But as days passed by, the bad publicity just stuck its highest down to its rock bottom. We heard news from left to right saying that everyone was frantic and rallies just happen here and there. There were also news a couple of days after that showing that the political situation had stabilized. That was our go signal. We could not postpone it.

There were cautionary warnings from various embassies of different countries, but nothing grave to be worried about for us. We would not go there to make a stand for our political beliefs, we would go there to shop and see the country. In other words, we were tourists, not protesters.

After all, we paid for it. And we could not refund the money back. The best we could do was pray hard and hope for the best. And oh yes, get travel insurance, too in case something unexpected happens. In case you're wondering, we really did get travel insurance. Better be safe than sorry. Let's just say we had our reservations. But we still pushed thru.

So we did. Going to Thailand has been the best decision I have made so far in my life! Had I decided to postpone the trip, I would have missed the once in a lifetime experience in immersing myself to Thailand's culture. I would wave regretted feeling the Thais' warm welcome, the Sa-wat-dee greetings, the genuine smiles, the adventure and the heart felt experience as a whole.

This whole trip became an eye-opener for me. The trip has made me realize that I can do lots of things with faith, friends and believe in myself.

I so disagree that Bangkok is a dangerous place to go. It's not even close to that word. Shoppers consider this place as paradise. Some as a pilgrimage for faith-driven people. But above all else, Thailand, not only Bangkok, is a place of fun and a country of the free.

Thailand after all means "freedom land". No limits, no boundaries. Just imagination.

Just amazingly Thailand!

Thank you Naruto!

2008-09-19T23:02:00.000-07:00

I went home yesterday at around 2 am in the morning. On my way home in the cab at the back seat, my legs were just numb and unmoved. My brain cells were dead. My brain neurons were on a strike. I was just mum the entire time with a seat belt wrapped around me.

I was practically a zombie. And the uncle (cab driver) just could not endure the silence the entire time. He liked to small talk even to a dead fish. And I did reply back, for a few times as he was very warm and polite. After a few phrases and sentences, I think he noticed that I was very, very, very tired. So he respected my space.

I came home twenty minutes after with a $20 bucks damage right out of my own pocket. I alighted a block away from our flat. I made a mistake. I asked Uncle to turn the wrong way and I didn't want to explain anymore. So I just walked a few meters from there to our flat, then got in the lift, took out my keys and went in.

I just washed my face quickly, cleaned it with my toner and put on my night cream. I was so tired. I was decided to lie on the bed and close my eyes but then again, it got me.

The new Naruto Manga was set to release that day. So even how tired I was, I managed to exploit my brain cells to do this one favor for the day. I needed to know what happened to Naruto and Sasuke. I wanted to know if Naruto was able to master the Sage Art - Senjutsu. I could not wait to know if Sasuke was able to sustain his Amaterasu and will go on in his plans to destroy his own village - Konoha.

So I took out my laptop, turned on the wi-fi and went to this website - www.starkana.com - the site that has the newest releases for Manga, and of course for Naruto, I ended up reading the scanned copies online for a few minutes. I just didn't like the feeling of hanging by that moment, especially for this Manga.

I ended up sleeping tight after reading my weekly dose of Naruto Manga. Even for a bit, no matter how tired I was, I managed to put a smile on my face. I was satisfied. I was happy. And for some reason, I felt somehow that I rid off some exhaustion that I had felt the entire day.

Thanks to Naruto I was on the high. I slept heavenly.

Thank you Naruto!

MUTANT

2008-09-19T22:36:00.001-07:00

I spent practically the whole day yesterday at work. It was exhausting. I needed to put everything in place and endorse my tasks as I will be on leave for three days (Yes! Only for three days). And the overtime wasn't paid, mind you. It was done for the betterment of the company, not my own pocket.

Seventeen hours of staring at your computer screen is not fun if you're working. At I could not believe I was doing it. Me? And what's pissing me off was that I got thru it without browsing my friendster or facebook sites to get me thru the grueling hours of my day.

Geez, I am changing. I am becoming a corporate slave. Damn, I am becoming a mutant. I think next time I will get an award. A plaque of appreciation. A merit. Ahm, can I request for a bonus instead?

STRESS-ing on having that Filipino Power!

2008-09-16T08:15:00.000-07:00

Today marks my I am-so-drowning-with-work and I was so close to quitting. Thanks to this former colleague that made my life miserable. This guy I am talking about, we used to work together in this campaign. He had a few slip ups and the bosses decided to boot him out as he was no good after all. He was more of a liability than a mere asset.

I thought we won't be able to work with him anymore, until today. Today is my lucky, lucky day. A case re-surfaced due to his carelessness. And it was not a minor case. It kind of blew out of proportions because he carelessly put an entry on a different line item. In short, line 1 entry should have had the details of this customer but instead, he put it right below it. So, it just screwed it up.

I ended up cleaning his shit the entire day, doing the liaison here and there. Sending emails one after another. I resorted to taking up the case in my own hands to handle what was mishandled. Everything seemed to have been fixed already. I just need to monitor and make sure that this solution is carried out flawlessly.

I don't know why I did it. It's definitely not because of love. I think the main thing is he's Filipino, too. Deep inside me, no matter how irritating he is to me, it all boils down to helping him out. I didn't want to be the hero, I just wanted the case closed. Not because I wanted him to realize how dumb he was, which is the truth but hey, he just needs to do his job well and take it seriously. He just knows how to brag, but he sure has nothing to brag about.

I just hope he learns a valuable lesson over this. I hope he takes this opportunity to improve himself more and take it all in for the better.

After all, he's Filipino. He's one of us. I hope he prides himself of this fact.

Stunned!

2008-09-16T07:55:00.000-07:00

I was so tired last night that I planned to sleep early and call it a night. But guess what, I ended up sleeping at 2am+ in the morning.

Thanks to this blogging eureka for me. I already know how to put pictures in my entries! And just like a child discovering the world, I could not get enough of it. Whether to re-organize or delete and add back more photos, I just could not satisfy my curiosity. The wonders of technology. The wonders of discovery.

I honestly do not know why I did not discover this sooner when in fact, it was just right there together with all the symbols perfectly organized in line. Well, you'll never know when you'll get your blonde moment.

In my case, it's my curly, dyed hair moment.

(The photo has NO definite relation to this entry. I just think we all look good in this shot. Let me correct myself. We always look good. Even this weird guy as our background looks human, what an evolution. All because of us.)

Mama Mia! - An Inspiring Movie

2008-09-15T09:16:00.000-07:00

I was planning to go to the gym today but I then decided not to push through with my plan anymore. It's Monday-Drown-Me-Day today for sure and I would not have the time and the strength to go work out and sweat my sweet ass off. And it was a good decision as a colleague of mine offered me 2 free tickets to watch Mama Mia! at 7.20pm at Golden Village, Marina Square. I immediately asked a friend (Holly) to watch the movie with me even though she had seen it already. She said it was good.

She was right. Her saying that it was good is an under rating. Mama Mia! is the best movie I have seen so far for this month. It is something that I would consider a worth movie to watch. Meryl Streep is indeed so fun to look at. Her ability to transform and play the part just shows off her experience as an actress. And Pierce Brosnan? Well, you just try to imagine James Bond singing. Yep, singing seriously. And please, do not stand and leave immediately. Wait for the credits to run and the last sequence would be the icing on the cake for Mr. Bond. And I am not going to spoil the movie for you. So you better continue reading.

The movie as whole is a masterpiece. The message it conveys just touches the core of your being with humor. The movie knows how to condition you to feel a certain emotion, a distinct hmf that pushes you to laugh with the actors and actresses, to cry with them and to lament with them. It gives you that sense of fulfillment, that conviction to love, to live, to hope and rekindle the moment.

This movie is definitely made for everyone to enjoy. And do not worry guys, I have seen a couple of men who had watched the movie with us. Straight guys, mind you. So, in case your girlfriends ask you to watch, spare me the shenanigans and watch with them. But please, no ... (dot, dot, dot)

You'll know what I mean when you watch the movie.

P.S.

I am not the movie's publicist. I am not paid to write good review about it.

Agent PeePee, you suck!

2008-09-14T00:59:00.000-07:00

Today was the date we had to renew the rental for our flat. And funny it was the same exact person who got half of our deposit to the flat previously that we liked but decided to not push thru because of complications. Let's just call him Peepee, a twenty-something agent who seems to be good at deceiving people.

He went to the house together with the Auntie with the SPA (Special Power Of Attorney) to fix the paperwork needed for the renewal. And yeah, to get THE money from us as the supposed 'agent's fee' for supposedly 'helping us for looking' for this flat. (Get it?) For the existing flat. We are paying him to renew. Without doing anything. With getting his ass sweat. Just like that.

Well I understand that it's how the market goes. But having this experience with him for his work ethics isn't just worth giving him additional $900 more from us, and another $900 from the owner. It's a pity we are giving this scum easy money without working hard for it. This guy doesn't deserve a single penny. But he's clever. For some reason I feel that we were dealing with the hustler.

The entire time they were discussing about the rent and procedure, I was just looking at this chubby, egoistic and money-addict agent PeePee. Figuring out how he sleeps at night with his eyes shut. Or how he endures to collect money from this shitty business.

He ended up $1800+ richer when he walked out our flat. We had given him the money, yes, but has he gotten our respect and confidence in him? I don't think so. Never. Or not until he figures out how to earn and deal with people decently.

Celebrating Independence, Singapura Style!

2008-09-13T20:05:00.000-07:00

Many words just kept coming in my head randomly when I was thinking of writing this blog two days ago. But I could not seem to gel them together to even write a phrase to complete one sentence. But heck, I was impatient and decided to pend and do it later. So I am writing this today.

As cliche as it sounds, time really goes so fast. It's the flash times ten. Just imagine getting your crush's armpit hair after a few good old months of stalking. If it's possible. Maybe it is if you're room mates. Ahem... By now, I think I have conveyed the point across. *winks, winks*

Looking back two years ago, a lot has changed me for the better. All in its own pace. Some had happened drastically while a few had happened painstakingly slow.

Who could forget that day where we had to go for our medical check up after touchdown. Oh yes, this was after that sleepless night before leaving the Philippines with our loved ones. After that early flight, touching down and checking-in after at a cheap but decent backpacker hostel. And did I say brisk walking around Raffles Place to finally head straight to the clinic for some standard test? Yep, we all passed. After a few grueling hours of tension, fright and worrying of the results. We did fairly.

Let's just say that I was up for some challenge upon stepping foot on this small island. I thought I had experienced the worst, only to discover that it was just that ant bite that happens to you in one humid afternoon. An eye-opener for a more one-of-a-kind (referring to the collected one-of-a-kind experiences) learning and enriching experiences.

How I could forget the frugal moments I had on the first few days of living in Singapore. Those days where my fellow colleagues and I would sit down in our hostel room, take out our pen and paper to tally our daily expenses (converting everything in Philippine peso). Also taking into consideration the budget we tried to allot for the house we need to find the soonest as the bill at the hostel are accumulating.

God is good. He helped us (me and the 6 others) find a house. A house good enough to shelter and start our lives together - as housemates. It was in that house that I learned to share a room with a stranger (a close friend now) and share the house along with six of the girls (also close friends). That house was the witness of our pack's rites of passage - the humble beginnings. Our click. The start of that genuine friendship - the adventures and misadventures we all had. The activities we did. The endless bus rides that became enjoyable road trips. The midnight to early morning movie showings, the eating escapades, the coffee sessions, the nights of clean partying and the wasted few nights due to spur of the moment drinking. And not to mention our out of the country trips together.

Singapore had seen me in my worst, too. It saw me fell in love and eventually get heartbroken that led to serious weeping over a love interest who obviously was naive enough not to notice. It took me more than 6 months to get over the feeling. Thanks to a few instances of crying at our balcony at past midnight, a couple of bus rides alone with "Someday" by Nina playing in my Ipod and a couple of time spent at the church praying for guidance and detachment of the feelings from my personal self. And I would say all those counter-measures prevented me from getting insane. I was getting there. And I was that close to snapping and giving in. But I guess, I am one hell of a fighter. And it were my firsts - being in love and being heartbroken.

This country had taught me to be strong-er - emotionally and physically. It taught me to stand stall. Live on my own for a while. Be comfortable with my own skin. Discover and appreciate myself better. Singapore gave me the opportunity to define independence in my life, incorporate in my lifestyle the best practices I gained through experience and change me for the better. Become a better friend, a better son and a better spirit.

Imagine how this small land can change a person at greater scales. The experience - both good and bad translates to a better me - transcending my expectations not only for myself but to all the people around me. This is how this country shapes you so you can celebrate independence, Singapore style.

Life as I know it.

2008-09-08T09:02:00.000-07:00

Before going to sleep, I re-read what I wrote last night and damn, I am so screwed. I promised to write all things possible in here, especially the good ones. So here I am in my room with my lights off, squeezing my brains out to produce an article worth reading. But who cares, this is for me. And I don't owe anybody anything. This is my turf, my space and my writing therapy.

Well, nothing extra-ordinary today, except for a write-up at some office bulletin from a colleague that said, "doing ordinary things extraordinary well". I also don't know if this line has some parallelism to this entire context but I said it anyway. Besides, I write what I want. So you read and understand how you want this to be interpreted.

In life, you do things the way you want things executed. Some may not like your lifestyle but it's you who chooses it for yourself. It's just a matter of choice. You may go out in boots one day because you feel like it or dress up a ninja master the next day. People may find you weird or a fuckin' lunatic but who cares. At the end of the day, it is you who will answer to yourself whether you had fun or whether you bored yourself to death.

I guess my point is, we all make our decisions. Of course, you consider your family's say about things. Your friends may help guide you to the right direction. Your significant other might also be a factor. But sticking to a decision is something that you do yourself. Whether you choose to grieve or be happy, ecstatic or just plain boring, it will always be you. Yourself, Your ass on the line.

The choices do not choose you. You choose the choices. You call the shots.
You stand by them.
You may make wrong choices but you learn from them. You outgrow the stupid phase. You overcome the blues. You become stronger.

It may not always be a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow every after life experience. But you sure get a consolation in taking that path yourself. It may even be worth more than that.

I AM BACK

2008-09-07T09:33:00.001-07:00

I would say my English needs a lot of polishing now that it has not been used to write articles for a while. Let's just say writers need some time to park their pens and recharge to say the least. WeIl, if I consider myself a writer that is. I would more or less say that I am but ready for sharing my life experiences if my precious time permits. *winks, winks*

I have been told by a friend, (Marky, ahem) that all I write about are stories and articles that directly relate to angst of my life and how I see the world in a different light. I already explained to him that I find it easy to write about them and the fact that I see them entertaining just adds to the spice of the world fill with irony.

I better start writing soon and make it a habit to writing at least one entry a day. I have read somewhere that brain cells diminish their capacity to function when they aren't used often. And it's not a pretty good way to appreciate what God has given me, I think.

So let this be my way of saying - I AM BAA-AHHCCK! This time, I am up for that challenge to motivate myself and give myself a chance to grow and become more mature.

Hopefully.

Spell E-X-P-L-O-I-T-A-T-I-O-N

2008-02-29T19:24:00.000-08:00

I cannnot entirely explain why Filipinos get an unusually unfair deal when it comes to saying NO to people. The word is just comprised of two letters and a split second to say. But for us, we'd rather sugarcoat it in multilayers of Godiva chocolate than say it directly. It may be good at times especially in dealing with sensitive people but in most cases, the inability for us to say no is what gets us in trouble. Or in worst cases, exploited.

Exploitation is prevalent everywhere. This is a term not foreign to sales people. They use it to their advantage to convince and tap into the impulsive buying energy to milk out numbers from them. Imagine us going to malls surrounded by a lot of sales people that we cannot say no to. It's just like robbery with consent.

In the workplace, it's the exact scenario as well. Us incapable of saying no makes vulnerable to higher workloads as we could not say NO right away. And it ends up piling the workloads to us even before we can say "I have to think about it!"

I have to do something about this. Let's keep it real. Higher workloads do not really merit my pockets but my job description only, which clearly says MULTITASKER smeared all over the pages of my CV. And it does not obviously help save money as well.

Jack Of All Trades and Master Of None. I really have to seriously ponder on this.

Love Fool

2008-02-29T18:29:00.000-08:00

Many have tried to look for it. A few had been successful. Some fake it. Some really find it, for real. But once found, it doesn't end there. It will be another part of the vicious cycle of endurance and compromise for it to work out. And when it does just not work out, you're in to a one hell of a heartbreak. Silly thing they call it love.

But it keeps us together. Bonded. That what makes us human. The ability to feel the sparks, the tingling sensation, the hurt, the pain and the painstaking system of moving on. It's all part of the deal.

I am writing this blog as tribute to a friend - Ching, who recently got her docile heart broken. Suddenly and unexpectedly. She has been suffering from that constant sobs for almost a while now. A fragile heart, she optimistically tries to move forward after the aches and scars of the experience. I cannot blame her. It was a collection of her firsts. And this also happens to be her first break up moment away from her support system - family, as she is here with us in Singapore.

She is a gentle spirit. I know she will move on. She better keep on trying. She cannot be in that dark nook forever. I know she won't stay in the dark. She just needs time to process everything and sort things out herself. No matter how cliche this is, 'time heals all wounds'. I should know as I had just gotten over from a serious first heartbreak.

It was not a walk in the park. Actually, it was more like running behind a pit bull to save yourself from rabies.

Monosexual

2008-02-28T08:11:00.000-08:00

Before going to sleep and after watching American Idol Season 7, I decided to look for eye candies first before I knock myself off to bed. And there I was, finding myself doing a little bit of "ass exercises" to improve my cute and almost soggy touche while surfing on the web. Staring myself at the glass panel of my closet as I have no mirror provided in my room (Laptop loading, nothing to see yet), I couldn't help but wonder, "What Am I Doing This Damn Exercise For?"

Who would actually love this not-proportioned body of mine? Of-these-bulges-that-I-have-since-High-School-that-I-didn't-dare-to-lose-before-that-I am-trying-to-do-now-which-is-so-hard-to-do-as-this-had-been-part-of-me-since-I-started-to-notice-that-men-have-penises-and-women-have-vaginas-and-that-I-am-losing-it-and-I-better-stop-and-move-on.

*Snaps out of it*

Anyways, after minutes of exercising and looking at photos of gorgeous people on the net and reading thru juicy gossips, it just occurred to me, "Is monosexual a word or a term that is grammatically correct?" Because I completely realize with absolute conviction that I was not going to the gym or I am not trying to be fit for anyone. But for myself.

Does that make me monosexual? A term I made up to describe myself. Merriam-webster, please contact me for copyright issues if this is not in your list yet!

What if I am monosexual? A term I coined and I define as a person who loves oneself and doesn't seem to favor or long for attachment, commitment or sexual relationships at all. Or am I just being sour and bitter at the same time as up til now I am still single and uninvolved?

I would have to swing the bat again until I get a strike and hit the home run. I think I am not making any sense anymore. I don't even know what I am talking about. It must be the heavy feeling in my head as it is past my bed time already.

This would have to wait until I give it some real thought and careful analysis. Gees, I sound like a dork. It's not like I am depolarizing a magnet or separating the particles of water and salt from my sweat!

Sheesh, sleep me. Ssssllllllleeeeppp...

Zzzzz....

Looks Is No More

2008-02-22T20:09:00.000-08:00

When I was a little younger, I have always looked at the physical side of things. For a possible relationship, I tended to gear towards what others and I would say beautiful. Nice porcelain complexion, blue eyes/green eyes/brown eyes but not squinted, model-like features and the rest I left with total embodiment of a God. For things that I want, it still remains the same. I still gauge the things that I buy with the short-lived and most cliche standards of beauty. Of what I think is beautiful.

Looks was what made me swoon over this person. And during the course of the hopeful loving, sour experience of being heartbroken and thanks to that person who invented the words moving on, it's all plain history. I was just telling Marky how I was able to move on already and how funny it was that I only feel a little tingling love sensation to this naive person now. And that was a few days ago.

It is ironic because this heartbreaker I meet everyday in the office. Every second I tended to feel the sparks and the giddy feeling when I see him and when I talk to him. Funny how I was forced to move on. It wasn't the three-month-moving-on rule. It was way more than that. But anyhow, I moved on. And I can honestly and completely say that I have this time around.

I met the heartbreaker again at the gym last night. Did the usual his and hellos just like in the office but with a hug this time. With a big strong hug. With a smothering hey pal hug. And guess what. No feeling. Zilch. Zapped. Na-da anymore. The feeling that used to make me smile over my head is now something that I consider relevant to my existence to transcend into a new me.

I guess what I am trying to point out is I used to rely so much on beauty. And believe me, standards of beauty can be practiced so much in the gym where all walks of life try to exude that beauty that they thought they have. And you can feast your eyes on those sculpted bodies with Godly features, faces whom you wish did not have bodies and those bodies who need not have heads because of the not-so-desirable features.

After a while, you would get used to it and realize that hey, these people look for the same people as themselves and God knows how narcissistic that is. But they still look for it. If not better and more good looking. After observing these people (me not included as I am the observer, hihihi), these hopefuls are actually looking for heartbreaks.

Looks is not the very foundation of relationship. It's bound to fail. Don't get me wrong. Beautiful people make my head turns and go for a second look. But thats all there is to it. I have learned my lesson. The hard way.

I just don't know if what I wrote is true or if it has something to hold it together. What the heck. That's why it's called blogging. So I can blur it out.

My Valentine Tribute

2008-02-15T18:19:00.000-08:00

Quite a couple of months ago, somebody broke my heart. And the funny thing was that somebody did not know about it. Or maybe that person did and was just playing naive so that THAT somebody could have no guilt feelings and take it on himself.

I was a wreck a couple of months back. I was always crying on the bus on the way home alone and would listen to songs 'Someday' by Nina and 'I Miss You' by Aaliyah just to get by. I did not want my friends to know about it since we were living in one house back then in Upper Thomson, Singapore. Well, my friends knew that I have a thing on this person but they did not know how much I got affected and completely blown away by this feeling. That was until I broke down and cried on the terrace at 3am in the morning with the restrained sobs that eventually got heard by a few friends that completely blew up my cover.

I could still remember how everyone was so supportive and caring. How everyone would be quiet and be very sensitive about the whole thing. And thanks to them I recovered.

Recovery was the hardest part of falling in love, especially if it was a heartbreak. I had to be put through a lot of awkward situations and confrontations. And not to mention the struggles and art of avoiding, which I almost perfected along the way. My case was not breaking up with the person. It didn't even start yet for crying out loud. It was not even something that I considered budding lovers. It was more of like 'I-love-you...then...what?Are-you-ahmm...Have-you-eaten?' scenario where no confrontation and confession existed. It was more of like a one-way love. Pathetic, isn't it? What can I say, I joined the club.

Fast forwarded to the next couple of months after, I managed to survive the pains and aches but have completely missed out the tingles and sparks of what they call the power of love. Nevertherless, the incident contributed to so many firsts in my life. First love. First heartbreak. First support from friends. First drama. First confusion. First heartfelt decision. First crying marathon. You name it, it's there.

The feeling is still there I must admit. That little stubborn flame inside me that just won't go off. Time will tell.

Time will tell. But one thing is for sure. I would not fall to any LOVE SHENANIGANS no more! *fingers crossed*

Back with a Vengeance

2008-02-15T17:46:00.000-08:00

One of my closest friends in Singapore told me that he had read my blog. And I got so surprised not only because not so many people I know read about it but also the fact that I don't get to update it as often as before. In fact, my last entry was September of last year and it wasn't as "interesting and entertaining" as I imagined it to be. But hey, that's why they call it 'trial and error', right?

Hmm, well. After taking careful and a lot of thinking over running on the treadmill, I decided to take his word for it and unpark my pen for some entries that would spice up the old me again.

And here I am, semi-new with this thing that I used to do back then, getting a fresh start for the year 2008. To tell you the truth, I wanted to write days before, after I had made up my mind but time is just too short.

A lot to expect from hereon out. This time, I would like to broaden my insights over happennings of my life. Not just about bickering, ranting and being sour most of the time. I would like to post entries about my eureka moments and happy thoughts that just go randomly in my head, as well.

I was told by this close friend that it was always about not-so-good-stuff that I write. Like I am not aware of it. I find it as my guilty pleasure. It has always been easier for me to write these things than happy-happy-nice-nice things as I find no absolute relevance in other people's life to read about my euphoric and orgasmic experiences.

Like Duh! Hahaha. Oh, well. Feedback noted.

More entries from now on.

P.S.

I do not know how to upload photos. Until I figure it out, my page will still remain photo-less and as dainty as the skies painted perfectly by landscape artists.

A Hard Day's Work

2007-09-30T11:17:00.000-07:00

Perhaps all of you might be wondering about all the bickering and shit I write on here. Well, it just so happenned that this has been my therapy after a hard day's work of solving problems of other people who don't even know how to express their gratitude. But a gesture of goodbye that seems to have been the only thing to say before they put their phone down in a rush.

Sheesh, not even a simple thank you. Fucking retards! No wonder majority of all these people don't know how to party. You won't even imagine. Folks here drink at 9pm and end their party at 12mn. Few barely could walk home. Drunk. Sitting on alleys. Sleeping on the cold pavement while WE enjoy the music and the scene of people making out and exchanging tongues on the dance floor. I can't believe how much they're missing by just being drunk, haha!

I guess the saying work hard, party harder won't apply here. All they do is work from dusk to dawn. And then work harder and then just give up one day due to exhaustion. Whether they admit it or not, they're fortunate that they have Filipinos around. They could use a little humor and party action.

Singapore, get ready to be conquered!!! :)

Ancient History

2007-09-29T07:09:00.000-07:00

Ancient history. That's all I have to say. I used to update my blog everyday or every week whenever possible but due to some things, I wasn't able to in months.

I recently moved from the Philippines to Singapore for a job I had applied for eight months ago. And I think everything is doing okay. I get paid more to the things I used to do back home. But clients are more demanding and are devil incarnates. So I guess it's but a fair bargain.

All the while I thought Americans are hard-headed. Wait till you meet Singaporeans. I don't know, it might just be the cultural differences that made them the way they are. There's just a whole stretch of things that you would have to understand before getting them. It's just a matter of getting used to.

A lot had happenned since I moved that I don't even know where to begin. If I have some spare time in the future, will update and write about everything.

I need to rest my case for now as I have an early day set for tomorrow. Early shift tomorrow.

FOR ONCE we were...

2007-02-11T04:49:00.000-08:00

Convergys days had passed so soon. Soon than everyone expected. And I find myself now at the crossroads where everything seems foreign. Everything new. Everything that I used to be and used to have, now set aside to open the new chapter of my life.

I remember something that my uncle told me. And it goes like, "When you resign or retire from work, you are missed. You will be missed today. And after a few days, life would go on. Business as usual." My uncle may be right but I refuse to believe everything would be just the same without me. (ahem!)

My presence is so not to be ignored. I am a star in my own right. I invented the word spotlight. Much better, limelight. Celebrities won't be celebrities without me. And models are not the same without me. :)

My point being, I may not rock the walls of Convergys One again. Other people may try to do it. But nobody does it better than the one who made it all happen, me.
My friends would always be my friends. They will forever be treasured.

BITTERSWEET

2007-01-18T19:53:00.000-08:00

I don't know how to emphasize this enough but things had been a bit hazy for me lately. I have made major decisions in my life and never had I been so powerful and firm in my lifetime.

Two weeks ago, I decided to call it quits and leave Convergys for good. I thought about resigning before but that did not materialize, not until now. Thanks to the friends I have and the bonds that I made, I procrastinated my plan.

I am writing this blog entry as my last one while still at Convergys. It will be that last one entry I am ever going to post. The rest that would follow are entries that would pertain to the new chapter for that road uncharted. The falls, the stumbles, the rises, the joys and the grims I have to go thru, not really in that order.

Bittersweet memories are running thru my head while writing this entry. I have been part of Convergys long enough to meet and bump with some interesting friends and other walks of life. Some that became friends. Some that became an inspiration. Few that became foes and that relatively small portion that I have had misunderstandings with. And yes, that one person that made my heart thump. That one person that made me experience the shivers, the excitement and the thrills of sneaking and stalking all for love's sake. All of those are but a past. The past better off reminisced but not relived.

I have made my resignation as quiet as possible. In fact, a few people only knew about it which I wanted. It was not because I hate dramas but because I preferred graceful exits over hysterical ones. After all, I am a model in my own right.

Many were shocked with the decision that I had made. I have always been the "perky one" among the flock. The hyperactive and the jolly one could ever meet. And I intend to keep the title. I don't want friends to see me crying with tears all over my face. I want them to remember that God damn jolly person they met. That happy-faced. That guy with a genetically unusual high-pitched voice not the crybaby.

I don't know if people were really sad I resigned. But I know majority did. There will always be that marginalized few that were happy I was gone because it was minus one to competition. Genuinely enough, I felt their "I-miss-yous" and the "I'll-text-yous".

I am a firm believer of that saying, "no goodbyes only see you later". And friends, we will see each other later still. It has been fun working with you guys.

FRAIL

2006-12-20T14:59:00.000-08:00

In times that you don't expect something to happen and it just happens all of sudden would be the most romantic and funny thing fate can ever do to you. Especially if it's meeting your soulmate or a yummy to-be partner. But if it just involves yourself and your stupid posture that caused the cracking of your spines while getting in a car or a public transport, that's a different story. And that's exactly what happenned to my oh-so-perfect-spines.

It all started on my way to work when I got in in this nice-looking "vehicle-for-rent" a.k.a as fx in the third world country. I was in a rush since a lot of people were trying to get in it. Scarcity of public utility vehicles during this desperate times are evident due to the juxtaposition of people side by side, waiting to be picked up like prostitutes in the red light district. It's like Filipino diaspora in the entire globe everytime I go to work. That's how worst it is. Believe me.

Last night, it was written in my stars that I would get into this not so fancy fx vehicle and it was embedded in my palm lines as well that I would injure my lumbar region without even knowing the reason why. It was like giving a complete stranger your cellphone because you spaced out.

And there I was, seeing myself in the faces of others trying to find a perfect position without that hurt rooted from my lumbar region injury. No matter how slanted or how I do my used-to-be comfy position, still the hurt won't go away. I spent the entire time supporting my body with my both hands grasping what my hands could get a hold of so the pain would be minimized. But it was an absolute discomfort. It really was.

I spent the entire night at work trying to look for that perfect spot so the ache won't consume me. And I was unsuccessful. After a handful of pain reliever and menthol scent on the floor getting into my colleagues' nostrils (poor victims), still I failed to fulfil my agenda - to be numb.

In these trying times when you thought you were invincible, it's funny how we all become vulnerable for a disease that we never ever thought would bring us down. It's funny how we draw our strength from others. To those people that we barely know. To those acquaintances and friends. Just like how we draw our faith from God, praying religiously for everything to go away. Just like that.

Healing is the law of nature. And it needs time to heal. It's just a matter of time for my back to bloom again and fully recuperate. I can't wait to reach my toes while arching my back again, hehe.

The Haunting

2006-12-12T15:02:00.000-08:00

Everyday marks the beginning of our new haunting. From the time that we get off from bed til the time that we get on it again, it's interesting how we always see ourselves flawed and imperfect.

Mirror has always been our partner in crime. We always take a closer look at ourselves. Comparing what we don't have and hoping to have what we lack. We always find ways and routes to the road of ephemeral beauty - from our outta bed dos to our lashes to the lips to the pimple to the pore to the scar to the most uninhibited mole in the most unknown part of us, we notice. Hoping that it's gone and away. We find what we don't have and hate or hope for something that we think would look good on us. We drown ourselves with the "what-ifs" and the "I-wish" statements that draw and elicit personal disliking about one's self.

Comparison is just a contagious disease. It makes you realize what you don't have and not seem to be contented with what has been given to you. It makes you take things for granted. It makes you unappreciate the littlest graces, long and become thirsty of grave things you think important that just aren't.

When was the last time that you appreciated yourself? When was the last time that you embraced and walked tall with that wrinkle around your eye AND NOT think of botox for a second there? When was the last time that you counted your blessings?

When you look into the mirror, you see yourself's reflection. You ask about that pimple you see in between your eyebrows and how badly you want to go to your dermatologist for a facial. Oooh, that can be so soothing. And then you suddenly think of your hair, too. That it's begging you for a new do and hair color. And yeah, that hair spa would do such wonders to your scalp. But before you do that, think of children in the streets that have endured hunger whose last meal was yesterday. Those exact same children who had not taken a bath and who never dared to think of their scalp and skin tones simply because they get preoccupied shutting their eyes so they won't feel the hurt from their stomachs.

Whenever you complain about your job, think of people that badly wanted to be in your position - to earn as much and to do what you do. Those who badly need the work that you do to bring food on the table.

Whenever you long for a shirt or a pair of pants that cost hundreds or thousands of pesos, think of those people who could not even afford to buy one. Those who use cartons or grocery boxes as a "make-do" solution for their mishaps, to cover their slender and frail bodies.
I guess what I am saying is, we must learn to appreciate. Learn to savor every bit of something that is being given to us. Be thankful for the things that are provided and not ask for things that are lacking.

In this day and age when the situation has gotten from bad to worse I couldn't help but wonder, "how does an ounce of gratitude help us through life's inconsistencies? Is it really gratitude or faith that we hold on to?"

VEGETARIAN for a CAUSE

2006-12-08T16:37:00.000-08:00

My first entry after a month of shutting up. That's a shocker. Gees, it has been a while indeed since I updated my blog and Jesus Christ, I missed it.

I had been busy worrying about my health for the past weeks. I had all sorts of check ups and going back and forth in Medical City. No serious health condition though, I just panicked and exagerrated the symptons. After some stressful tests here and there, I am in my best shape ever, except for my BP (short for blood pressure).

I have been regarded as the healthiest person around the workplace - nice body (ahem) but not body-builder-ish, positive outlook but not all-smiles all the time and the friendliest among the block with the hi-hello of sorts. But due to stress, I was not able to cope up with my borderline to hypertension blood pressure.

So I am doing all the precautions possible. And as for starters, vegetarianism. It's my third week as a vegetarian already. Well, not exactly. I am more like a flexitarian. I still eat meat - fish and chicken mostly. My diet would mainly be fruits and steamed veggies, sauteed or fried. I limit my carbs intake and confine myself with cereals and oatmeals as subtitutes. It has been good so far but man, it's killing me. Bluntless of food with little or no sodium just makes me feel like eating in a garden, literally. With the goats, rabbits and cows free in the green pasture.

Thank God, my BP is still the same, near the threshold of normal and beyond normal. And it is sometimes scary. Im starting to think this is something that is caused by my poor lifestyle and too much stress in the workplace. Little did I know that it's slowly killing me like a bastard waiting for his chance for revenge. Well, there is a consequence for every opportunity in life. Life is full of surprises. You just gotta do what you gotta do.

And as for me, I would have to take care of my body more because I only have one gorgeous, smooth and flawless complexion. I have thought of getting back in shape again and enrolling myself in a gym to tone muscles and do some cardiovascular activities. I need an outlet for stress. Or better, if I can do yoga. If I can afford it. Fuck it. It is so expensive. You relax for a month thru yoga lessons for Php 4000+. And I am NOT kidding. It's that much for a relaxation. So I guess in a busy world that we are living on now, relaxation is a mere luxury not everybody can afford.

But stick to vegetarianism. He. he. he. It's good for you. :)

FREAKY FRIDAY

2006-11-17T17:07:00.000-08:00

A week of turmoil has ended. And yet again, I am burnt-out. It it weren't for the people who got absent from work today, we should have been dancing and counting sheeps in the field. It was the total opposite. All of us spent our last day of work tending with customers with no educational background, who have not even attended college. Those who do not know the word please stored in their chicken brain. And believe me, cases today are the most unusual ones. Cases that I have not encountered in my entire stay here in this program.

Everything is just so wrong today. Except for my hair. My oh-so-lovely-hair that seems to have had so much praises, more so than those low-life beings who have won the Oscars. And who's complaining, I know it's hot. Burning like hell. Sweet. I guess it was blessing in disguise that I have made my curly hair so long to let it be styled like this. I so love it.

But aside from my good hairday, everything is just so screwed up. My pimple in my chin had grown so big it looked like a damn mini-face disguising as a pimple. Those idiots had grouped in throngs and asked for reinforcements that it had made it so much like a power-ranger robot stuck in my face. Good thing my hair gets to be noticed more than my nasty colossal pimple.

Aside from my pimple, I was late for work. I was so lazy I planned on skipping working. But my charlatan brain cells had decided that hey-go-to-work-it's-friday-no-calls-today! and poor me I believed them. Right after I got comfy with my seat, calls seem to just haunt me. And people with such behavoiral problems seem to know where I am. They find me like I have this LOSERS-THIS-WAY sign screaming at their faces. And there are no supervisors. How's that for a day, huh?

(Takes a deep breath)

Gees, this is so damn tiring. I so need love. And I don't know how to emphasis enough. Hahahaha!

FRESH FROM A DAY OFF

2006-11-09T17:06:00.000-08:00

A lot had happened the last two days of my absence from work. The first instance was I was sick and the other day was my off. If you ask me, I'd rather spend my off outside the house than being bed-ridden, touching and wiping the sticky fluid off of my nose incessantly just isn't fun at all. That's just gross. That is just so not my turf.

Aside from being sick, there were quite a number of instances that made me euphoric. It is too soon to tell. :) But once everything is final, I will make sure that the whole world would know about it. Only my closest friends know about this yet and I am sure they are so damn giggling right now because not a lot were privileged enough for it. Hihihi.

As the saying goes, when it rains, it pours. It's actually quite true. Elaborating further would make me caught for the things that I should not be divulging early on. I just wish everything would turn out well. I hope. In God's time, I have faith.

RECUPERATING

2006-11-02T17:35:00.000-08:00

I thought I couldn't come to work today since I have the worst contagious flu ever documented in history of me. Thanks to a liter of pineapple juice and three pieces of oranges I am a bit better now.

I swear I could barely breathe yesterday. Well, there had been remote instances when I feel that somebody is smothering me and putting something into my nicely-contoured nostrils, hehe. Each of my nostrils was clogged by a bubble waiting to be bursted. And I could not speak well. I sounded like I am a big walking harelip. Having bedroom voice is acceptable. But distorted speech like a drunk is a no, no.

I spent the entire day dealing with my predicament. Trying to recuperate, and at the same time, entertain calls with all out cheerfulness. Gees, no wonder call center agents sometimes end up in mental institutions for treatment. Schizophrenia. Paranoia. Dual Personality Disorder. Insomnia.

Good thing I have no work for tomorrow. I have all day to rest and recuperate. Too bad though I won't see the retards on the floor for that well-publicized Halloween Costume Party.

Bummer.

THE RAIN AND MY NOSE

2006-11-01T16:59:00.000-08:00

The sudden pour of the rain had made my nose red today. Thanks to my itsy bitsy little black umbrella I got wet from the rain. And not to mention the strong wind that almost turned my umbrella an inverted mushroom.

This is just unfortunate. I got off to work thinking that the rain won't be as harsh since I waited for it to subside right before I left. But still, it got me. Just a few steps away from our door, the rain pelted hard on my oh-s0-frail umbrella. I could not go back, thinking it would stop any moment then. Yes, my theory was correct. It did stop, after I GOT WET. My so tiny toes got soaked and splashed from stepping on water holes strategically placed on the pavement. My pink shirt got wet from raindrops and the drizzles mixed with the wind. My fabric body bag was wet as well. I could not do anything but wait. And wait. And wait again.

The rain finally stopped. My body was shivering because of that cold darn weather. The hem of my jeans and my slippers were wet. Afraid to get leptospirosis from the water holes that my toes were soaked in, I decided to buy a bottle of alcohol to cleanse and prevent myself from getting future skin diseases. Who would have wanted fungi dwelling in between your toes? Or smelly feet? Shheeeesh. The minute I came to the office, I immediately did my cleanliness routine. Thinking that I weathered the rain, I was completely blindsided.

I started sneezing and water-like fluid just came dripping from my nose all of a sudden. My eyes were watery and I felt cold of a sudden. Darn it! I got a flu from that quick exposure! I hate it. I hate being sick. I hate being taken care of. I hate being bed-ridden. What I hate about it the most is the constant wiping of your nose til it gets red and get tired from doing it over and over again. Every second.

I hate to spoil Christmas but I hate it more when I get to be compared with Rudolph. I need to drink a lot of juices now, a lot of water and start getting medication. I have to be treated soon. I have to be better soon! If not for this darn rain, I would be jumping rope by now and helping out with the decoration in the office for halloween. Great. This is just great.

STAYING POSITIVE

2006-10-27T10:20:00.000-07:00

A day rest from work can do wonders, at least for me anyways. It's not about going out that lightens me up, but the sleep that I get - undisrupted since it's not everyday that I get one. Not thinking about the pressure and the mishaps that I get from stressful calls is something that keeps my mind off of things that constantly bug me from the moment I open my eyes til the time that I close them. How poetic! (and a bit exaggerated! hihi.)

So, whenever I have the time to somehow recharge and get as much sleep as possible, I take advantage. It keeps me positive, and watching movies that I buy in bulk everytime I go to the mall just reinforces that feeling.

You see, I do not go out a lot. I prefer watching movies at home and lying on our comfy couch the entire day til my eyes get weary. And close them. Snore. Wipe my sleep spittle. Wake up in the middle of the day and pee. Then sleep again. Watch movies after. And it's a vicious cycle, what can I say. Nevertheless, a simple life.

I am shallow. I know, I need to get a life. AND I don't want to grow old to be a grumpy grandfather or a loner in some retirement institute (I know it's not gonna happen!Filipino here, HELLO!!!). Somebody who never experienced to exercise and who has lived with the most disgusting body ever recorded in Guiness Book of World Records is definitely not my standard of beauty. I want to be called a hunk sometime in the future. Who doesn't?

(Thinks, aloud)

I have been called so many names already and I managed to live up to them. I have been called gorgeous always. I have been mistaken as a Hollywood celebrity. Some regard me as perfect. Some a model on a pedestal. And those terms are just music to my ears. Who's complaining? I will never get enough of those. You just can't help but appreciate those people that can admire true beauty.

If any of you bump into me in some high class promenade or some elite leisure haven, please, please, please, just be inventive in calling me such names. Being colloquial and Shakespearea-like won't hurt you, you know.

Can somebody think of another word for me? A word that would truly embody me.

ME. Geez, I am patronizing me. Self-preservation. I like it. If that's gonna make me stay positive, it ain't gonna hurt yah, yah know!!!

THE ART OF LETTING GO

2006-10-24T18:19:00.000-07:00

Last weekend was the best weekend I have ever had in my lifetime. It was somewhat paradoxical since I have not been into reflections and soul-searching much my entire life. For some weird reason, a friend sent me a message and wanted to meet with me to chitchat. And so we did.

Upon meeting, we had our usual exchanges - the common "how-are-you?", kisses, hugs and the eagerness to see a friend for ages. But not the things that 'friends with benefit' do, hell no!!!But it was nevertheless such a fun moment, like a saint on the verge of his epiphany.

And so, after our darn greetings, we decided to watch a movie - The Banquet starred by Zhang Ziyi. Loved it. Fell in love with it. Don't you just love the martial arts mixed with such ultimate grace? It was so refreshing to see people flying. And fighting. Flying and fighting at the same time. But of course, there's so much more than that. It's such done with great taste. I truly recommend it.

Well. On to my story.

Right after the movie, we decided to satisfy our tongues' urge for the Italian palate. Piadina became our witness for the conversation that became my eye-opener. Like me, She has gone thru a lot of risks. Risks that made her weigh her options and somehow choose the lesser evil. The lesser evil that would be more beneficial in dealing with life.

She mentioned her brother during our conversation over the quattro formagi (spell check, please), a thin-crust pizza made up of four kinds of cheese and carbonara on our table that somehow influenced her in a good way. She has made me realize things that are far more important and sort out my perspectives as well. I think it is my sole responsibility to impart that realization to you guys as these might help you go with the flow of life, and not go against it.

These are just some of the few good things to ponder:

1. Life is not all about career. Career is just a pseudo-goal most of us are preoccupied of. At twenty-something, we go thru the quarterly crisis. We compare ourselves to our peers and contemporaries, especially to those who became successful in their chosen careers, abruptly. You pity yourself for staying stagnant and become envious for people who seemed to be living their dreams.

What you must remember though is that God made plans for us. Plans that do not happen the same day or date your rival at school got his/her glory just as quick as exercising his/her knuckles.

WE DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT A CAREER IS. We were just laid with the possibilities, just like picking a trinket in that wide-stretched stalls in Divisoria. Options. Meaning ephemeral. Not lasting.

At most times, we get drowned thinking 'what-might-have-beens' or 'what-could-have-beens'. Our shoulda, woulda, couldas. Our aspirations in life. We were placed in awkward situations we never ever thought possible. We encounter people and friends. Colleagues and acquaintances. Friends and foes. All for a reason.

Don't be that person who has a career but never ever got to live a life he wanted. Be that person who lived the life he wanted and eventually got a career in the process. Look within yourself and contemplate. If you don't know the skills that you're good at, stop looking. Begin honing and treasuring each experience you pick up along the way. It's not all about the career, it's the process of getting there that makes the experience worthwhile.

2. Learn to appreciate the littlest things. Cherish each experience. Don't be such a haste.
Remember that an experience, no matter how sweet or bitter is worth every pain and joy. Cherish every heartache. Every smile. Every giggle. Appreciate that you have two legs and ten toes. Appreciate and embrace what makes you YOU. Discover and rediscover. Remember what Friedrich Nietzche (I think it was him, not sure though. :) ) had said, "that doesn't kill you makes you stronger".

Life is not always walking on the rainbow. It's not about discovering the pot of gold at the end of it. Sometimes, you have to work double as hard to unearth something to expose its true beauty. Like a heartbreak, it's a given. But still, one chooses to love. It's not anticipating the heartbreak, but picking up the shattered pieces and glueing them all together after. It's not the before. It's the after that's more important.

3. Let go. Letting go of something is somewhat the best exercise to be free. Be free from constrictions. Free yourself from pressure. From emotions that tire you. From thoughts that wear you out.

Letting go of a dream is achieving your dream. Events unravel themselves to your advantage. Leave everything to the Lord and loosen up. I am not saying to slack off and bum around like a sloth. But instead, make short-term goals instead of the long-term ones.

Live life as it unfolds itself. Live life one step at a time. The future is the uncertain. The uncertainty of life is what spices it up. Don't strip yourself from that, you owe yourself at least that.

Pieces of Me

2006-10-19T18:11:00.000-07:00

I was absent last night from work. I tried to get up and prepare to come to work but my body just could not endure such harrassment anymore.

The lack of sleep and the nocturnal lifestyle wore me down eventually.

The puffy eyes indicated that I am not invincibe after all.

The low blood pressure, emotional battery and mental shocks had visited my thoughts everyday, knowing that such a job with the so-so compensation would toll grave penalties.

I am but a candle lit with flame that flickers toward the direction of the wind. I am but the embers of the bonfire deeply buried into the sand for containment. Thus, a ripple that suddenly livens the water in the stillness of its serenity. I am but a wanderer during the day and a worker by night.

I am a creature that wanders. Whose thoughts fixates on inanimate thoughts and worthless ideas. A phoenix waiting to rise from the ashes. I am the warm breath that everybody covets. A star bragging its twinkle from the rest. A treasure waiting to be discovered from the test of antiquity.

I am no different from a diamond on the rough. The imperfections that define its perfection and beauty.

I am but me. I can offer no less or no more than who I am. Love me or hate me. It's just plain black and white.

Rawness defines me. I am the stain of blood that trickles in the sand. That endures time. That embodies tainted innocence.

TRAUMATIZED

2006-10-17T07:52:00.000-07:00

I have not been enthusiastic enough to write interesting stuff lately primarily because I am undergoing a relatively deep and grave amount of trauma. A trauma that started from stress. Stress that was rooted from work. And it's painstakingly aggravating me, A LOT.

Recently, I found out that we have this perfomance action plan that reprimands people in the workplace, and that would be ME, US. People that have not reached and met one metric on the program - a satisfaction survey metric (a grade incurred from surveyed customers) would have a memo or a corrective action plan issued to them. A survey that is based and executed thru random sampling. That one metric that we have no control over. And we get reprimanded for it. For a survey. For a survey that we have no control of. A metric based on mere luck and timing.

AND GUESS WHAT, irate callers are so eager to fill out the surveys. To make matters worse, people that you have "helped" and considered you an "angel" never bother to fill the surveys out. Pathetic. So now, they give you some kind of a warning for something that you have NO control of.

Bottomline is, even if I perform well and pass all the metrics with flying colors and flunk that one metric which is actually the case, you're in for a big trouble. I got one already (Can you imagine? Double duh!), and this has been the first warning I have received and signed my entire life. Not just me actually, but most of us did. That just speaks a lot about that stupid thing. THAT that is NOT a valid criterion to measure or gauge one's performance. It's based on judgment. Unfair judgment. That's what's ticking me off real bad. You get this love letter from your Team Leader stating that if you don't comply and manage to leverage your game, you're out of the company. Meaning, Termination. FOR A SURVEY. FOR A SATISFACTION SURVEY. For a God damn survey that irate callers are so eager to fill out. And that would cause the termination of your employment. Sweet. So just and so becoming. Ew!

Considering the fact that we abide by the rules and procedures given to us by our superiors and the clients, we have no choice but to follow them. We do. At least I do, I strictly comply. In most cases, we get surveyed for calls concerning a policy or a procedure that customers are against with. And we are helpless. We get fried for something that we follow. For policies that could not be bent. Policies that we risk our asses off just so we can be reprimanded to result to termination.

(Typing with fingers pressed against the keyboard) (Translation - Annoyed)

What can I say? Need I say more? Injustice happens. I think, I would have to thank the people behind this brilliant idea. Without them, I would not have come to the realization that I am better appreciated in a program that actually recognizes me. WHICH is not this program.

(Sighs with desperation)

As frontliners in this business, we protect our client that we represent and the company that we work for. But neither is protecting us. We are always put on the spot. It disheartens me that there are no actions made to protect our interests. I guess I just have to wait and see what's gonna happen.

Just for the record, I am not the blonde stupid boy who doesn't know the difference of black and blue. I am not the male version of Paris Hilton.

-------------------------
Anybody can say whatever they want. This is what I am feeling now. I'm sure I share the same sentiments with others. I don't need assurance or whatever. So get lost. hehe.

TIMES are HARD but...

2006-10-11T15:45:00.000-07:00

I have contemplated and resorted to the idea that everybody strives to earn as much money as possible, especially in this era where money is all that makes the world revolve around its axis. So if you do not have the dough to pay for whatever service you can possibly render, then you're screwed.

Both services and commodities that vary from simple to complex need money to function. Horses and carabaos were replaced by wheeled-vehicles for transportation. The latest model of the car or an SUV, the better. Water that used to be free had been marked as the most profitable means for income production. Yes, you can still drink tap water. But do not expect to be all normal and jolly after that liquid intake. Consider yourself lucky if you're diarrhea-free after 24 hours which is not exactly always the case. If you are really, really unlucky you'll have amoeba swimming in your intestines as a bonus.

From simple kiosk to as grand as fine dining. From simple walking to full-tanked engines of four-wheeled vehicles, sometimes with two or three wheels. From simple and inexpensive sweet pleasures to lavish and money-driven activities. Massages that used to be free had been re-packaged to be as a profitable means to generate income and has been prevalent today hiding behind spas and lairs of leisure. Strategically stationed in mall promenades, blind people just seem to jump in the bandwagon as well. Capitalists have a haven for a used-to-be-free-relaxation to somewhat a luxurious activity for the rich and the famous. A peso could not even get us anywhere now, except for jueteng (a kind of gambling here in the brownass land Filipinas) and buying a local-made candy, I think.

Everything is being modified and molded to provide a better and money-driven society. But the question is, is it for our own betterment? Or is it just an indicator that we have managed to raise the bars even higher to satisfy our insatiable desires for things that can be bought by money? What happened to barter system and neighbor looking out for one another? What happened to us? What had made us monsters and money-whores?

Times are hard, yes. We need to look back and reflect on what had happened to us. Money may buy almost everything, but it should not be the reason for living.

A CONCERNED CITIZEN

2006-10-04T17:33:00.000-07:00

Earlier this week, so much had been going around my head. I was planning to write about things that would NOT normally come out from my true self. Topics that spark for hope, love and dreams which I do NOT usually think of since I am so screwed up. (Kidding :) . I am SO PERFECT. I could not ask for something more. :) I just thank God I was created in a perfect mold, hihi.)

(Chuckles) I get deranged easily. My thought just flies by me whenever I don't take notes of them. So they're just like dust in wind. Just in limbo. I wonder when I can afford a laptop, a good one just so I can write down anything that comes to mind right after I had watched a good movie, while drinking a Venti Mocha frappucino at Starbucks or even in the stillness of the night where crickets hum and create some sick melody. I think that would be super.

I wanted to write something about what happened last week where a lot had been damaged due to that typhoon. Poor us. Trees were uprooted. Roofs were detached from the ceiling of houses. Billboard steel railing mounts were bent and crushed. We were a complete wreck. A lot had died. Some homeless in just a matter of hours. From bad, it became worse. And from worse to worst. And you know, I could have dwelled and expanded on this topic but I just had no time to even explain this in detail. Good thing I tried. And you get the picture. Words like uprooted, detached, bent, crushed, wreck and died pretty much say it all. It's just like giving a flyer in malls.

Besides, there was nothing much good fruition from that experience. Just homeless people, flooded homes and damaged structures. I think the only good thing were those politicians who came out again from their burrows to media-whore around! Assholes and Bitches! They really know when to step forward and be recognized. It's not like they would get my vote. Crazy and greedy suckers! Dream on!

PROWLER

2006-10-03T17:38:00.000-07:00

People are leaving, FAST. I don't know what it is or what lies beneath this oh-so-nice program of ours but people just seem to come and GO (all in caps). People just can't seem to get enough of this.

What are they complaining about? I see no problem with this program (dumbfounded), or maybe I am just overlooking it. I can't deny the fact that people are somewhat suffocated. Some had expressed such disdain to the account. Some who have the courage to endure such disdain serve the thirty-day-notice. Some who just can't stomach the run-arounds just disappear like a bursted bubble in the air. And to others that remain are just waiting for the right moment to express "issues", so to speak like a scorned woman waiting for revenge.

And you know what, I don't know. Maybe I am just naive or something. I somewhat do not feel such pressure in the air. Maybe I am just new in the account and I just haven't experienced such "hmmmf-ness" or encounter any adversaries along the way. There is definitely a little bit icky-ness about some things that I am not comfortable in sharing. Sorry guys. :) But nothing grave, really. Just a little bit of this and that.

I am not numb. I just prowl and watch over for now. I am new. So there's that prowling that I need to do. Yeah, just prowl. Otherwise, I'd be trapped in a quicksand like an innocent and careless low-life unimportant being on top of the earth. I wouldn't want that to happen. Afterall, my curly hair is slowly growing little by little. And I am loving it.

SABBATICAL

2006-09-29T16:01:00.000-07:00

Maybe a lot (?) of my readers are wondering why I have not posted a single new entry for the entire week. One word for you guys - BUSY. What a week that was!

I have not even tried to open a blog site to post something on the net. It has been ages ago already, I know AND DON'T MOCK ME BITCHES!!! It's not going to help.

Hmmmmm. How can I explain this. Well, it's like this. I know that I have been busy the entire week. That's a given. But I don't even remember the things that I got busy with. Even how hard I try to twitch my brows and crease my lines on my forehead, nothing just would pop up on the top of my head. Maybe it was just a way of my oh-so-brilliant head to forget things that are not pleasant, therefore, emulating a burial ceremony in the deepest, darkest part of my virgin soul for a memory not worth keeping.

Wow, I like the sound of it. Let me repeat that. Maybe it was just a way of my oh-so-brilliant head to forget things that are not pleasant, therefore, emulating a burial ceremony in the deepest, darkest part of my virgin soul for a memory not worth keeping. Oh gees, I am hallucinating now. I need to end this nonsense and get some sleep because this is absolutely going nowhere.

I want to recharge my brain. Sabbatical is what I think is the perfect adjective for it. Or maybe that was exactly what I did. Or so I thought. I need to meditate and sort out my priorities. I need some real inspiration, not the kind that you see in the pages of a porn magazine. Thank you very much.

VICTIM

2006-09-22T16:51:00.000-07:00

I do not know if I am just plain unlucky or I carry this curse in job applications and job interviews. I got an email just this week about a job vacancy that I thought was cool and was very reputable, from JobsDB.com. It was an Advertising Copyright Specialist. For one, it sounded like a royalty. It was something that I would love to do.

I checked the website and tried to further research about the company details. For a while there I thought it was very promising, and I was enamoured by it. So silly me applied for the job vacancy online.

After just a few days, I got a call from one of the HR personnel and was invited for a job interview. And of course, (like I said before) as a common courtesy, I confirmed my appointment. No matter how hard it was to wake up and prepare two hours early before work, I showed up. The least that they could do was to have the decency to show up and be professional enough to come up to me and give me the time I deserved.

Waiting was the name of the game. So I did. Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock. And bam. There was a lady in blue uniform approaching me whom I thought was from the janitorial services. (Oooops) She was telling me her boss was in a meeting and she was informed to do the interview. I said fine. Whatever works for you. And there I was, in their receiving area with people coming in and out being interviewed in one of the coffee-bean-like chairs. OUT IN THE OPEN. NOT in the conference room. But in a common area. Where people are. Period.

The interview lasted for a few minutes. Shorter than expected. Lousier than anything bad combined. No comparison to any of the interviews I have had. And that was it. It all happened in their common area. It will all end there. I would never go back to that pit again. Ever.

*****
Lesson learned : Not all pretty women are women. Some are homos. Some are lesbos. Some are just pretty men but not homos. So relate that to this experience.

The sound of the phone ringing, music to my ears.

2006-09-21T13:23:00.000-07:00

I have not had much sleep today. When I got home this morning with my Max' one whole chicken to go order, I had my meal "microwaved" just so I can have my breakfast meal the soonest possible time. I work from nine to eight. It's from pm to am. Not the other way around. AND IT'S TIRING. So you can imagine how my life is during the day. And you get my point.

Right after my meal, I washed my face, had my teeth brushed and prepared my bed a.k.a couch in the living room since there is a huge possibility that I won't get up if I sleep in my room, for a well-deserved peace and quiet time after a hard night's work (emphasis on the night word, please). I always leave the TV on and program it to turn off after thirty minutes. It is somewhat my lullaby now lately.

So there I was on the couch, enjoying my serene and tranquil moment when the phone rang that disrupted the only thing that makes me happy these days - sleeping. One ring. Completely ignored it. Second ring. Didn't mind it. And then on the third and the nth ring, I was pretty much all grim and ready to pull the phone cords out of the wall. Thankfully, the caller somewhat felt that it was pointless since nobody was answering. Literal translation, nobody's home!!! That should deliver the message. But no! After some hours, the phone rang again. And this is no joke. I was sleeping. And sleeping = me happy. It's like seeing a dancing banana man mascot to Shakira's Hips Don't Lie song. But no! I got interrupted again. This better be a real call for me and not some silly prank or a nobody dialling the wrong number. Otherwise, I would totally wreck the couch.

Thank God, it was for me. But still I was unhappy. Sleeping = me happy. This disrupted my sleep and since I was up already, might as well answer the damn thing. The call was for me indeed and some freaky man answered the call. He was looking for me. It was me who answered the phone. I confirmed my identity. But still, he was looking for me. Or maybe I just sounded so gorgeous over the phone with my bedroom voice. Still, how much does it take to actually buy a brain in black market these days?

After a few minutes of conversation, the turmoil has subsided. Or so I thought. I then again got a phone call from my sister inviting me to do the grocery with her because she got this eerie feeling that it was my off again. And guess what, not gonna happen. I don't run the company. I work for it.

The next thing I heard was my cellphone alarming. I didn't wake up. Logical reason, not much sleep. I have been bugged so many times the least it could do was shut up and let me be. I was planning to not go to work but due to my golden heart and dedication to my job (loser, I know) I went for work.

Here I am, palpitating and the only thing that keeps me awake is friendster. Getting thru the day with so much caffeine in my system. My heart doing overtime. With eyebags circling my oh-so-perfect black eyes and curly lashes. Good thing I look good today. Better than usual. Perfect like a god. (Giggles)

(Smiles) (And giggles again) ...

VIP Ticket to Hell

2006-09-20T17:40:00.000-07:00

Working in the call center industry is like working for Satan's father. First, they'll lure you with money. Then, they bombard you with phone calls. And after that, you'd be dead for phone calls right before you know it.

Call center is fun. Yeah. For the first few months. It's fun when you seldom get irate calls from people you don't even know. Solve their problem everyday. And the least that they could do is say "thank you" which they find difficult to say. Talk about etiquette.

Come to think of it, the pay is very well worth it for the job that we do. Nobody has ever been paid this less as "Professional Shock Absorbers". The last time I checked, psychologists and psychiatrists are paid by the hour and are paid real money by just talking to their patients, big time. I never ever looked at it that way. Oh gosh, we are so lucky (in monotone). Then sighs. Yipee! (Again, in monotone).

AND OH MY GOD, our benefits. I can't wait to talk about them...

Since we, people are considered to be the highest paid individuals for an entry-level position, we are the targets of the hungry, deranged and money hooker predators who hide in the likes of robbers, snatchers and crazy bad-ass out there. People that like to leech and not flex a muscle since they find it more tedious than just plain terrorizing and targeting the poor, the nocturnal and the sleep-hungry "us" for money. And what do they give us in return? Well, NIGHT DIFFERENTIAL that ranges from 10%-30% of your salary. And that's just like saying, Come to work and I'll give you a lollipop! So rewarding. That makes me come to work eagerly everyday, risk my life, weather the storm and fingers crossed, not end up dead in a dark nook in some cheap alleyway. And not to mention the transporation allowance and the meal allowance to make up for the shortcomings of the job. That makes me feeeel so important.

Hospitalization is included, too since there's a higher risk of being stabbed, ran over and being admitted in ICU. But for just P100, 000, why not, huh? Some companies have higher medical insurances. It just depends. But for us, it's just a hundred gran and if you're lucky, the services are reimbursable.

In the call center industry, culture is another thing. It seems that it has a life of its own. It just continues to grow and evolve into something that has this huge impact to the ciruit of people in the business. You'd learn to smoke cigarettes. First, a stick til you reach your one pack per day limit. But of course, I am not speaking for myself. I am speaking for the majority. Smoking while hanging out in Starbucks. Spending all the money, money for multiple coffee breaks to keep the eyes open for the day, or the entire night.

Talk about sex-hungry people as well. Married men act as single men and as for women, mmmn, yeah they do the same. At least some of them. It starts with flirting. Oh yes, flirting is the name. Sex is the game. They act as if casual sex is just like eating pancakes in the morning. A part of a daily regimen, like brushing the teeth and peeing. Maybe because of deprivation. Also because of the smothering testosterone and estrogen level in the air. You know men. Men like to mark their territories - rubbing their pheromones all around the globe. No wonder Darwin concluded that we came from apes. Sex hungry apes, polygamous animals. Sheesh.

I hate to spoil your smiles and your laughs while reading this blog entry since I know a lot of you relate to this one way or the other. Whether you admit it or not. You know who you are. I guess the point is, we have to deal with toxic bosses everyday, the evolution of culture and the vicious lifestyle. I think the survival tip is just knowing where you stand so you won't get consumed by it. Otherwise, you'll be earning a VIP Ticket to hell just like that.

WRITERS

2006-09-20T10:20:00.000-07:00

My friend used to say, "If you're creative enough, you can absolutely write anything under the sun". All the while I happenned to believe that friend of mine, until I realize that not everyday is sunshine day, especially if you're in Alaska. And I find it hard to believe - the things that my friend is telling me since THAT friend is ME. Weird. I know. Narcissistic even to some point. But I can't help it. I SO LOVE MYSELF.

So let me start again. I used to say, "If you're creative enough, you can absolutely write anything under the sun". All the while I happenned to believe myself, until I realize that not everyday is sunshine day. (Psycho, I know. But just play along) Well, there maybe a gazillion topics to write about - all good things about myself (ahem!!!), a lot of people to lambaste, the putrid smell of the slums, the oil spill in Guimaras, the fashion slips of stars and co-workers and the list goes on, but there are just quite a few topics that just run in your head worthy of your writing.

There are frustrating times when you try your best to squeeze and juice out creative juices from your oh-so-precious brain cells. But no matter how hard you make an effort to write a sentence, it just won't come out right. It just won't come out with substance.

Writers to some extent in their lives reach their saturation point. And in order to be reincarnated, they needed to go sabbatical to refresh their so-called imagination and feel the urge to write again like a sweet child who just discovered the wonders of porn and masturbation. And gees, I ryhmed. Imagination and masturbation. Nice.

And since I don't consider myself a writer (or am I?) and somebody that DOES not write novels and short stories, I therefore conclude that it would be impossible to run out of ideas. I hope. There maybe times that I feel so lazy writing something at home since my PC is like the rendez-vous of 900-something trojan viruses - all kinds of it. I so need a laptop. But up til such time comes when I can afford it, I have to make do using our company's PC, hihihi. What do you have to say about that, huh?

My Eureka Moment

2006-09-15T18:25:00.000-07:00

1. Love yourself.

Saying "I love you" to oneself is a manifestation of self-preservation. It's a way to value one's own worth. It is never considered a narcissism. Loving one's self is loving and rediscovering what you can do. Discover your fullest potential. Give time to pamper yourself and admire yourself in the mirror. BUT NOT TOO MUCH. Learn to appreciate your flaws. Hone your talents. Rediscover your gifts. Embrace yourself. Once you find yourself, that's the time that you can impart smiles to others. Share love to others, unconditionally.

2. People bring you down.

So what. People always have something to say about you. Whether you're overweight because you have lots of money to pay for cappucinos and lattes or underweight because you have a pack of ciggies for breakfast, lunch and dinner, people would always find a way to scrutinize you. Scorn you. Make you feel inferior. Whether it's acne, bushy eyebrows, curly hair, protruding eyes, flat nose and flat chests, they are reinforced by prejudices and biases. People would find ways to make you seek refuge in the black hole inside of you. They would bring you down. Make your heart beat faster. Make you not look in the mirror anymore and start crying in your closet for scorns that take time to heal and recover.
Everyone has their secrets. We all have flaws. Successful people have managed to channel these inferiorities as driving forces to success. So what if you're fat. So what if you're underweight. So what if you're zit-faced. So what if you're a midget. These are just words of the insensitives, whose opinions are detrimental to anything good put together by saints and angels.

3. Trust Issues. Know your friend. Know your enemies.

Juveniles often interchange the word acquaintance and friendship. People we meet often are regarded as friends. But are they really? You barely know the person. You barely know his/her background. Were you there when his father got rushed in the hospital due to a heart attack? Was s/he you considered friend cried with you and laughed with you during the highs and the lows of your life. Do you remember his or her weak spot? Do you ever know why s/he fidgets around whenever s/he gets around a person he regards as a long time friend? Does s/he ever love you? Does s/he shows his/her concern to you when you get bed-ridden? Friends stick together. Acquaintances stick together when the world keeps on revolving. Friends are friends even when the world falls apart. Even when earthquakes consume the ground. Or tsunamis drench and crush cities. Friends are your sunrise and your sunset. Acquaintances are drizzles. Acquaintances are the aftershocks. The waves and the ripples you picture in the sea. The mirage in the desert. That what makes one different from the other.

The Devil Wears Prada

2006-09-15T15:18:00.000-07:00

During the course of our life in the corporate world, we do encounter real Miranda Priestly (the toxic boss in The Devil Wears Prada) in the workplace. If you're lucky and if you smell the toxic boss from afar, then you are considered the privileged child of God. But if you are the dumbfounded and innocent employee who just can't seem to read the cues posted on your co-workers tortured-faces, then goodluck to you. You are up for the biggest challenge of your life.

It happens in all kinds of industries. This happens in companies known to man that have this smell of terror, threat to control, colossal issues of power and rubbing elbows with the known and the most successful. And yeah, this would be very common in the dog-eat-dog-world of the publishing industry and in the fashion world, too, where people stab each other in the back multiple times til it becomes a bloodbath.

Working in the magazine industry is so fulfilling. It takes so much work to complete a single issue but everything is all worth it once you see the final product. It takes a lot of closed-door meetings, fashion shoots here and there and a LOT of walking, running and sometimes tumbles along the way in accomplishing the tasks assigned to you. Rush is the game and the adrenaline rush is just so consuming. I actually miss it. A LOT.

The movie made my eyes open some more. It made me see through the eyes of the characters. It has been a dream of mine to still pursue a career in the magazine business. I like the pace. I like the rush. I like seeing the end result of my assignment. But apart from all of these factors, I ask myself questions. Do I have what it takes to survive? Do I have the gutts to swim in a shark-infested pool with nobody to turn to? Can I backstab people and participate in a bloodbath for a step ahead in my career? Will I tolerate such barbaric behavior? Will I get lost in the dark? Will my flame flicker or die out eventually? I guess I will never know if I don't give it a shot again. Knowing myself and what my heart beats for, I know I'll get there. Somehow. In one piece. The way I know how. My way. No matter how steep the path is. I'll get there.

For every journey, there is always a beginning. AND THAT is the hardest and the most crucial part. Finding yourself. Picking up the pieces and glueing them together. I have to initially immersed myself again in the business. And be in the business. All I need now is perfect timing and after that, it's all good.

Enlighten me, please.

2006-09-13T18:13:00.000-07:00

These questions have long bugged my head for hours now. It has just been now that I am able to construct my thoughts and reword my questions in a way that they won't be as offensive to conservatists as they don't often hear the terms as we do in everyday living. But no matter how simple or how discreet I arrange my words, they simply just sound rubbish to these people. So read my disclaimer at the bottom.

On to my questions. Why is blowjob the term used to refer to sucking men's privies? When and what word did it originate from? We refer to blow as a verb or a noun. When used it blow a candle, and it would be defined according to m-w.com as "to eject moisture-laden air from the lungs through the blowhole" or to pertain to something that would explode or erupt among other meanings. But to refer it to THAT is quite preposterous. It is quite obvious that it's not the act of blowing. The word job I would understand since it's something "that needs to be done". But blow + job = sucking men's privies is such quite an amazement. Seriously, why is it called blowjob? If it has been termed as "LOLLIPOP", it would have made much more sense since having a lollipop inside the mouth is much more the same motion as sucking that darn stupid thing! Damn it!

Another question. Why are private organs termed as pussy for women and cock for men? A cat never resembles a vagina. A flower is even way over the top. A bean sprout would have been better. Vaginas don't have canines. I think. And cocks are better termed as tongue-less one-eyed snakes. A cock is a rooster. Roosters have beaks. Cocks secrete and splurge white, opaque liquids called semen - a very deadly weapon for genocide. :) And what's up with all the names and all the euphimisms. Can't two just be termed as concrete terms for easier recognition? You can't describe a cock or a vagina to a blind woman or man, since they have not seen a snake and a flower just yet. Sheesh...Too many terms to remember... Absurd.

Last question. Sex is referred to fuck. Suck is refered to an alternative fucking. Cock is referred to penis. Cunt is referred to vagina. Is it safe to conclude that anything that sounds or rhymes the same would refer to sexual activities? Like for instance, fuck-suck-cock-fuck-cunt and pick-lick-or-fuck-by-dick-that-goes-to-cunt. Think about it. They all just sound the same to me. Okay, maybe my examples are not perfect. But hey, there's no harm in trying!

***DISCLAIMER***
Not suitable for conservatists. Keep out. Extremely offensive. (DUH!)

BRAIN CELLS UNDER CONSTRUCTION

2006-09-13T10:41:00.000-07:00

There are just times that you don't feel coming to work at all. Often times, we feel braindead. I feel braindead. For some reason, my little brain cells are not in the mood to function. And it is a fact.

I woke up on the wrong side of the bed. I don't know what it is today that my body just doesn't seem to cooperate with my head, I mean the real head. I have had my regular sleeping hours, which is about 5 or 6 hours at the most and these past weeks, I am happy with that. And since normal people (the category that I don't belong with anymore) get an average of 7, 8 or more hours of sleep, I just try to make up for it during weekends. I am a loser, I know. I have no life. Thank you very much for reminding me.

I woke up like a dude that got overdosed with liquid meth and vodka, both taken together less the hangover. I was so disoriented, and when the lights were on, I looked exactly like a shrimp that has been boiled twice in champagne. I think the better description would be a buffed dude dressed in drag with net stockings and stilletoes reinforced with horrible make up and the style exactly like Marilyn Manson. (At least you get a better picture!) I was a total wreck. And after everything, after taking a bath and after grooming, off I went to work.

Everything was so off when I left the house and the only thing that kept my heart pumping would be this cutie I saw on my way to work, hihi. He was going to Makati, too. Too bad he got off earlier but he nevertheless made up my night, at least for some time. (Sighs) Was that cutie single? Too bad I forgot to establish rapport and get the number like what I always do with my customers over the phone. (Sighs, again)

Gees, this is a concrete and absolute proof that my brain cells are under deep reconstruction and reconditioning today. My poor babies. They are slowly dying because of my abnormal schedule.

So lesson learned about this experience - when the going gets tough and your brain cells are in coma, a cutie will keep you going!!!

HAVAIANAS - Perfect for my flawless feet

2006-09-12T17:32:00.000-07:00

I spent a relatively amount of my time thinking if I would envision myself and eventually be drawn to wearing havaianas in the future. I mean, I know what that was since I was one of the people who kind of advertised that in a magazine I used to work for back in March or April of 2006. And yeah, the colors that vary from simple to flamboyant and the designs just are irresistably mouth-watering. But if you think of the price, well I am all mute there.

It turned out that this rubber craze had started way, way back in 1962 and got its inspiration from a Zori, a japanese style sandal. Well, that's all I know. On how or what it looks like before, that's way out of my league. Anyways, It was just recently that it got introduced here in the brownass land where everybody just seems to put it on a pedestal.

Regardless of how much havaianas are loved here, people seem to mispronounce it. We call it ha-vai-YAH-nas, when it should have been ah-vai-YAH-nas all along. Now talk about language and speech problems. Long live the Kapampangans!!! No pun intended.

I actually made up my mind of buying a pair. As a matter of fact, I will buy one soon once I find that perfect pair destined for my feet with no calluses. As they say, when you put your mind into something, you'll succeed. And my mind is set already. In fact, I see myself in my dreams wearing trendy and soft rubbered havaianas while going to the mall, beach or even work during dressdown days. Sweet. That's just sweet.

BACK to BASICS

2006-09-12T10:43:00.000-07:00

It would have been nice to get back to basics these days now that everything has been gauged and bought by money. It is so nice to enjoy the free things in life, which are STILL considered to be the best pleasures it can offer. It is always refreshing to enjoy the long walks again with tree shades covering the pavement with leaves dropping from these old living things.

When was the last time that we bathe in the rain? When was the time that we tried to relive the games we used to play when we were kids? When did we start laughing at silly things again?

If only we can relive the golden moments of the past and somehow stop time, we would not have been so overly occupied with the hassles of our busy life trying to worry about what we would wear for tomorrow for work or how much we would earn from working overtime.

It is so nice to go back to basics when everything was not corrupted and just plain simple. When people were genuinely sincere and honest. When neighbors were treated as family. When favors were just favors and not accepting anything in return. When everything was all good and not complicated.

Those were the days.

Greedy Capitalists + Existent Elitists = Satan Incarnates on Earth

2006-09-08T18:05:00.000-07:00

There are just people born out of lavish lifestyle without exerting any effort at all. Thanks to Carl Marx and his theory and to other philosophers who educated mankind to take advantage of the inequities of life and the infamous greed for power, people are born with attached social hierarchy and social discrimination.

Lucky are the children who came from rich families. Luckier are those born with business tycoon parents, leaving them nothing but a choice to do and live the life they want. They do whatever pleases them. Their fat wallets are filled with paper bills made for carefree spending - either splurge or impulsive shopping of the most expensive nail polish to the diamond embellished trinkets. Their tummies are served with the finest hors d'oeuvre for appetizers, expensive champagnes and wines for liquors, sumptious entrees for main dishes and luscious and only the finest of all desserts, anytime they want.

They enroll themselves in any hobby they could think of and when they want to learn it depending on the pace they like, too - from polo to golf, from ballet to figure skating, cooking to baking, etcetera. They manage to afford the best hair treatments, best facials and best cosmetic surgeons in town, and even the most extensive manicurists and pedicurists (like there's such a thing!).

Sadly, such a small percentage can do such things. These would pertain to the favorite children of God belonging to affluent families. They work hard, yes. Or MAYBE NOT! They must have inherited an extremely offensive amount of money that only God knows how to count. They probably had their share of sleeping with a lot a paperwork underneath their butts at some point in their lives but not as much work compared to employees that are overworked but underpaid because of no available capital to start their own business.

So, I thererfore conclude that greedy capitalists are the type that get the most money in the end - dead or alive.

Job Invitation...

2006-09-07T17:23:00.000-07:00

Just yesterday, I got this sms message from the company I submitted my resume a long, long time ago for a job interview. It was weird that they contacted this late and due to common courtesy, I replied and confirmed that I would come to be interviewed.

Right after my log out time, I didn't even bother to wave goodbye to colleagues and silently made my graceful exit. I was minutes late for my appointment. I needed to clash with somebody from the escalation department because he was giving me wrong instructions.

On to my point. I arrived there and was immediately given a sixty-item grammatical exam which I did not mind. Right after that, I waited and seated on one of the mediocre chairs provided. Then I waited. And waited again. Til my eyes were droopy I couldn't stand it anymore that I had my catnap.

Somebody called my name, I think it was the receptionist. She was goodlooking but didn't have the mmmf factor. Didn't have a butt to begin with, like a dough that underwent the power of the rolling pin. Anyways, I was called in to sit with the interviewer.

And there goes the power / miss universe questions. How the hell do HR people rephrase or reword "Tell me something about yourself". How do I even market myself? It's like dealing with Satan. Building yourself up with a total stranger who might perceive as somewhat retarded is totally not my turf. And for someone like me who prefers silent confidence over bragging my accomplishments written on a marble tablet is totally absurd. I don't get the point of bragging something that is evidenced by a resume. That's just totally pharisaical.

So there I was being interviewed by a total stranger baring my soul to her. Giving her details about my career and my interests while she converses with her friends thru yahoo messenger. How professional. And check this out, I was applying as a Profile Writer. And as such, I have the option to write for companies AND the OPTION to write for adult material sites a.k.a. PORN SITES for US-based companies. More of like Carrie Bradshaw with BALLS, luring poor souls to sign up for the website of flesh eating and money eating industry. I have yet to think about it.
It's either I become a pure self-satisfying, juvenile-corruptor writing all hanky-panky stories and erotic stories for people who get money from masturbators and net browsers OR be like Carrie Bradshaw with BALLS talking about erotic stories with substance, be famous, be a S-T-A-R and live a Sex and the City lifestyle!!!

L.I.F.E.

2006-09-01T18:05:00.000-07:00

People always think of all the possible things in the world. I still remember when I was a kid, I would always think of the most absurd and most unattainable "wanna-be-jobs" I wanted to become in the future. There even came to a point that I wanted to be the President, but that's just way over the top. I don't intend to run a country of corruptors, liars and people who like to play games of deceit all the time. And then I wanted to be a doctor to save lives. After that an astronaut to discover things in space and the like. You name it, I envisioned myself almost in every famous job I could think of in their respective trademark clothes. Money never became an object. Kids were so pure and innocent. Even me, hehe.

Here I am now, kind of in between jobs and hanging in limbo thinking of what I want to become. The stage of becoming the president, doctor, astronaut is so way overdue. It have started embarking on a new journey. A new chapter of life where money speaks louder than heartfelt care and humanity have long been buried in dirt like spoils of war.

Facing the cruel and cold world where selfishness touches the skin like the air that we breathe is definitely overwhelming. Everybody looks for themselves. There may be friends around to help out a bit but it all boils down to you looking out for yourself, watching your own back. Having that said, I think it is just right to safely say to follow your heart.

Life begins when one decides to live it. Make decisions for your own sake without excess baggage. Life begins when one grows up, smiles at mistakes, move on, learn from them and to not hopefully make them again in the future. Don't just wake up one day regretting the things that you might have done. Live the way you want but live the way you know how.

DUMB PEOPLE WOULD ALWAYS BE DUMB FOREVER!

2006-08-31T17:28:00.000-07:00

I definitely DON'T understand why people try their best to sign up for SOMETHING that they don't know anything about. They call you and ask you questions pertaining to an account that they didn't even set up in the first place. Then they call you, and when you try verifying information on the account, they start laughing and giving you stories that they could not remember. What is this? A game? "Oh boy, I-totally-forgot-what-I-put-there!" is just like saying "Oh-darn-I-forgot-to-put-the condom-on-Sorry-bitch!"

First of all, what's the point of setting up an account and just forgetting it. For OLD people, it's totally fine. But for middle aged-people who in fact are impossible to have Parkinson's disease just yet or even Alzheimer's disease at this point in their lives, just one advice. DON'T FABRICATE INFORMATION THAT YOU WON"T REMEMBER EVER!

And in case you somehow forgot what you put there, DON'T blame US because WE were NOT there when YOU set up the account. Don't give us lame excuses that it was a long time ago or you don't trust the net in data trafficking. Have the decency to admit that you are dumb and just plain stupid. And GET OVER IT!

I would have been so ballistic if not for my curly hair growing nicely from my scalp. Had it been kinky like a pubic hair, it would have been worse!

Bloody Pissed...

2006-08-30T17:27:00.000-07:00

This has been the most laxed time for our work here. Right at this very moment, phone calls are scarce up to the point of extinction. There aren't so much calls today but I got so bloody pissed by this one special phone call.

My caller happens to be a 79-year-old man. A 79-year-old-man that doesn't know anything about computers. An old man already experiencing his second childhood with nobody to talk to and nobody to play with. How unfortunate. And out of nowhere decided to just try and use the net and set up an email just to be hip and "cool". And bam, decided to bug us for a problem that is not even "solve-able" and "company-related". Like a big DUH to him.

He apparently was pissed off, but probably not as pissed as I was when I got him as my customer. He then decided to rant and vent out his anger for something that could not be controlled and for something that we didn't have a say to.

His problem was signing in to his account and hated the fact re-signing in every after three or four hours because the log in session has expired. He also hated the fact that he sees yahoo plastered all over his screen when in fact he was not using a yahoo mail account. Well, two words for you mister - SECOND CHILDHOOD. Just because you don't like seeing yahoo signs plastered on your page doesn't mean that you can have that removed upon request! Like, double DUH! Moron! That's called tyranny.

And the nerve of this old man. He told me that I sounded like a robot and I should speak conversational english. Like what english was that? It's not my problem anymore that he wasn't sent to a good school to study. What kind of english did he like? Baby Talk? He's way over that. He's actually old enough to pee in his pants and wear an adult diaper for crying out loud! Good thing I look good with my hairstyle today. Otherwise, it would have been a bloodshed.

Old bloody men like him who has no respect for individuals should be hanging around inside a casket to get used to the idea that he'd be lying on a rectangular box surrounded with cushioned white satin-like fabric anytime soon.

P.S.
Don't worry. I will send him flowers.

Zombies at work

2006-08-30T14:55:00.000-07:00

If zombies are beings brought from the dead and fresh from the grave, I must say, we also have zombies at work. Brown people like me is exploited by white people like whomever. Me, being part of that majority, refuses to believe that I am paid relatively high compared to the "traditional companies" we have to over-exploit young workers.

Reality bites. Unfortunately, there is NO other option a young working professional like me can ever do in choosing a career when in fact all that's left would be an industry most people wouldn't even dream of establishing a career on in the future. Making calls is hard enough as it is. What makes it harder is the volume of calls you get in a day which is so much one can handle. That excludes the irate calls that you get, hard customers, morons, idiots and customers who refuse to hang up the phone because of a request good enough to be in Santa's wish list.

I, for one can be regarded as a zombie, lest the decaying flesh and eyeballs out of the eye sockets but getting there. Rotting flesh replaced by a hollowed body caused by inactivity. Eyes filled with eye bags due to lack of sleep. Customers who seem to test your temper every now and then. Zombies are better than me. Zombies don't have feelings but duh, they don't have a rather pleasing appearance, too!

WHAT'S UP WITH THE DRAMA QUEENS?!?

2006-08-10T17:34:00.000-07:00

We have always liked Drama Queens. We find their "kakikayan" cute - their posh attitude, their mix and match dress codes, their glossy lipsticks, their way of talking which at some point is beyond retarded and their well-polished nails. Oh yes, those oh-so-nice-long-nails, more of hooker-like just to say the least.

But as they say, anything beyond the cute-meter is aggravating. Worse goes to those who actually pretend to be like drama queens that exactly make them well-hated by almost 99 percent of the population around the world. Filipinos, mostly.

Brown ass people like us pretend as white ass people even if it kills us during the process. We pretend we like Roberto Cavalli or Louis Vuitton even if we can't afford to have one. Or we pretend we understand an english joke but deep inside could not even decipher what the punchline is no matter how hard we hit our heads on a concrete wall. Funny, but true. Understanding an english joke sometimes is like understanding a message written in Korean characters rewritten and translated in brail.

There are subtle ones who seem to go with the flow. Rich fashionistas who copy fashion statements from Italy are incomparable to drama queen wanna-bes who get ideas from Ukay Ukay shops or tiangges and try to deny it whenever asked where they bought those. Pity.
Drama Queens bring color to life and to the world. They are the ones that make snobs' and judgmental people's (Ahem!) lives easier in terms of panlalait. They are always the topic of the conversation. We don't have anything good to say about them and we love lambasting and stabbing their backs. Always a fun, fun, fun thing to do.

So long as there are Drama Queens a.k.a. beyond-retarded-citizens of this third world country, life would always be supercalifragilisticexpialidoscious. I just hope my spelling is correct (fingers, crossed).

Yes to Yoga, or No to Yoga?

2006-08-10T13:10:00.000-07:00

Well I have been thinking for over two weeks now about the yoga classes that my friends and I inquired about in some "sosyal" place in Makati City. That kind of yoga is called bikram yoga.

Maybe you guys are wondering how much it would cost me to actually "pretzel" my body and distort it in a way I wouldn't get hurt. P900 for three sessions and after that, less than P5000 for a 30-day unlimited body twitching. Pretty nice, huh? I just don't know if yoga in other countries are THAT expensive or is it just because of the heated environment that makes is so darn elitist.

Yoga has always made made me interested. I did try some basic yoga and pilates classes way, way, back and boy, it was so refreshing - not just for the body but for the mind as well. It somehow uplifts the spirituality of the person. It may somehow be related to the environment and the music that relaxes the body and mind with only one voice to hear which that of the instructor. And speaking of the guru, I think it's also one thing that makes me so eager to attend the class. The guru is a foreigner and so damn hot. Clothes-wise, the guru just doesn't wear as much. Take off the shirt, wrap around that tiny lean body with a towel and voila - show off that sinewy arms and toned body with just this little, tiny boxer-like spandex trunks which makes it more interesting. Talk about yummy, :)

I still have to ask my friends when "our yoga escapade" will start. Come to think of it, the place is nice and especially the locker with a state of the art medieval-slash-asian inspiration. I can't wait to picture myself in the shower drooling over the guru's physique just like that, hihihi...
And come to think of it, does yoga adds more libido? Let me ask you this, having that said, is it a yes or no to yoga? :)

P.S.
I was trying to post a picture together with this blog posting but damn windows xp professional. It's not letting me do it. Heck!

Is Masturbation good for me?

2006-08-10T10:30:00.000-07:00

I have this weird feeling that the reason why I feel like a sloth with no absolute physical activity would be me not being able to masturbate everyday. It is so ironic that I don't get to do much extra-curricular activities these days. And I somehow relate it to masturbation.

What good does masturbation bring to mankind aside from population control due to genocide. At least, that would the purists would say. But seriously, is IT really the reason why I feel so lazy these days. And come to think of it, I have not done it on an everyday basis.

Whacking off needs so much concentration to actually "feel" it. Apart from that, it needs so much energy and palm reflexes to savor the moment. Otherwise, it's not going to work. It is so much work. Well, I mean in scientific terms, mastubation to sound more formal. After all the concentration and exercising the palm, fingers and knuckles, there goes the fluid in a squirting and rocket-like motion. And then you feel tired and you feel like sleeping. I guess that's the whole point. You get tired and then get sleepy after.

I guess I need more sleep than more masturbation. But if I can get both, what the heck! Let's go for the gold. :P

Just Plain Burnt-out!

2006-08-05T12:20:00.000-07:00

Work never seemed to be soooo draining like this before. Back in the Ortigas site where I used to work in was just plain easy and no-brainer. Not to point out the obvious, it was so easy to get there. Just one ride and you're done. No hassles of crossing the street or no brisk walking involved with risks of getting tossed by reckless drivers. AND we never failed to entertain ourselves there - random gossiping, eating crispy pork skin (aka chicharon), and talking about non-sense would get us thru the day (or should I say night?).

Now, aside from the toxic program I am in, which I thought at first was challenging and fun, creeps me out. There are just so many parameters. With the extremely expensive fare going to Makati and random asshole drivers who don't want to take you to your point of destination because of congested service roads and greed for passengers for another round trip AND a relatively risky way to cross the street away from the pedestrian lane since the company building is opposite the drop off point, there are way lots of things to consider and point out.

The program is so not my turf. Technical questions about domain names are like encrypted messages from Krypton. Although we have technical support, at times we are misjudged plainly because we don't know what the customer is talking about. Most of the time, bugs or glitches are evidently there to consistently remind us that the systems are NOT perfect and make us realize that we are paid to take in calls. We don't even have idle time anymore. Bug equals more calls to take. The progam I am in now is relatively simple. What makes it complex would be the scope of support that we offer. I REALLY DON'T KNOW what this program has but at the end of the shift I just feel so used up that I feel the company underpays me A LOT.

The environment here is needless to say smothering. I feel agents are choking me to death with their two hands wrapped around tightly on my neck, especially the tenured ones. They feel they are so much better than us, which is totally quite the opposite.

Talk about pressure in the work place. I smell and embrace politics everyday. It's in the air that I breathe. It's all around us that I can't even express it enough.

People here mostly based on character are tolerable and genuinely nice. But when it comes to work, there goes the pride and ego. They don't want to be outshun and are so hungry for promotions. Poor low-life-egocentric-promotion-hungry citizens of the company. And some due to frustration just emit that frustrating atmosphere that affects us all leading to low morale and high absenteeism rate.

I am completely burnt out now. It completely depletes my energy and it's just a matter of time that I go and pack my bags again. Maybe go for a lateral transfer or some other companies that would make me worth my skills. Had I have options, nobody would have ever seen me around here. I deserve more than what they are paying me. If I am not treated and recognized right eventually, it's goodbye Convergys and hello world for me!

Just my Luck, Week-End Escapade - Part Duex

2006-07-30T12:44:00.000-07:00

It was lunchtime today when my dad together with my mom drove me to the bus station. I got on a bus going to Pasay to go back to a Manille, again (sighs).

I was seated two seats from the driver and it was good since I have some "perishable goods" (food supplies) on board. I considered myself lucky. I figured it was a good idea so when I get off, I won't ever have to walk that long stretch from the far back end of it. So I stuck with my plan.

All the while, I considered myself lucky not until this person who collects the fare stepped on my of so dear toes, on my four toes to be specific. I was on the verge of getting that nap I was trying to make for 30 minutes already and this guy playing innocent just stepped on my toes so hard they almost got murdered! I screamed. NO, I SCREAMED HARD. His shoes were like hiking shoes, with defined soles and two inches made of rubber.

My left foot was not wandering around. It was safe, or so I thought. He apologized. I didn't say a thing mainly because I am pissed off at him stepping on my toes with his shoes shaped and weighed like anvils AND him interrupting me in getting my sleep. It was not like he could take it back. I spent my ten minutes massaging my toes, and up til now, they still hurt. But maybe I am just exagerrating.

So, to make things simple. I got over it. That entire trip, it was raining. And people tried to point the airconditioner vents away from them because duh, it was so cold. It wasn't a bad idea but when people try to direct the a/c vents TO YOU just so they won't point or direct to them, it's pretty much the WORST idea. And guess what, all a/c vents were pointing TOWARDS me. People have a way of saving their asses off in expense of others which happenned to be me. Poor me. Damn it.

To my dismay, I asked one of the passengers opposite to me to direct the vents elsewhere since my armpit hairs are freezing to death as well. And she did but the passengers in front of me I could not ask. One of those two passengers was an old man. And I knew he was frail, so I sacrificed. Poor grandpa didn't have a jacket so I endured. And you guys call Manny Pacquiao a hero? And what would you call me then, huh?Huh? Kidding.

That bus I was on was cursed. Dude, could you get any luckier? And to think during my entire trip I was dodged, bumped and my hair was pulled ocassionally. And oh boy, it loved to pick and get passengers along the way which is okay if it were faaaaaaasssssttt. It was not.

I spent almost 4 hours to get back home in Manila which supposed to have been 2 1/2 hours ONLY. And that long trip I would say is the most and unwanted ride I don't ever plan to relive again.

Week-End Escapade, Part Une

2006-07-30T11:44:00.000-07:00

Today is such a lame day for me. I just got back from Nueva Ecija late this afternoon. I did come home to spend some quality time with my folks since it has been 2 or 3 weeks I think that I have gone home. It was a busy weekend for me.

Saturday, straight from my 9pm-to-6am shift, off I went to Nueva Ecija. My ETA was before 12 in the afternoon. The minute I stepped foot on our house, I quickly requested for food, hehe. I didn't have time to sleep because of my rendez-vous - my niece's birthday party in Jollibee (bee-happy :)) at 2pm with the entire family.

I was totally beat up. No sleep yet - 15 hours awake that time. As for any kid's party, games were the biggest part of it. And thanks to the emcee who happenned to have that i'll-put-an-S-to-everything-speech problem, I managed to laugh and be awake at the same time.

Mingling with cousins was my main priority, even I was half-dead and half-boring. I think I did okay. So after seeing the gigantic, monumental and colossal one of a kind, odd-looking and most colorful bee in the planet - Jollibee which happenned to be the highlight and the sign that the party was about to end, we went to Robinson's Department Store.

It has been ages since we have gone to loiter together. And that was it. We visited shops and looked for interesting items. We bought some items, since almost everything was on sale. So we figured, we'd take adavantage. Most of items that we got were not ours of course but gifts for people who celebrated and would celebrate their birthdays. We tried to looked for items to shop for ourselves, but nada. Zero. Not much choices anyways.

The moment we went home, I was like a withered veggie. No energy and so, so tired. I washed my face, got my sleeping clothes, brushed my teeth, kissed my parents good night, went upstairs, surf the channels and before I knew it, my saliva was dripping on my pillow case. Just like that. And that ended it all.

I woke up and it was already Sunday. Tiring as it was, I enjoyed the time I spent with my family. Around lunchtime, I needed to get my ass back here, in Manila. And here I am now and about to start my new week again.

Updating my MySpace account....

2006-07-22T10:15:00.000-07:00

I am in the middle of updating my mySpace account as we speak. Unlike friendster, MySpace has so many features. God only knows how many buttons and links I have to go to for me to actually and completely make changes on my account.

I only have one friend on my account, not because I am retarded. I just have no time to look for my friends in MySpace. Afterall, I have Friendster. I don't need to make up an account to each and every website that offers the same service. But, what the hell. I don't know why I am updating it anyways.

Odd as it is, MySpace has so many account details. Even the income I am earning I have the option of putting and typing in. What is this? Bureau of Internal Revenue? I don't see the point of having to put it in there. So people can see how much you earn and then take advantage of you? I may be stupid at times but I AM NOT THAT STUPID. It's like suicide. It's like a straight guy watching Queer as Folk or a gay guy turned straight or something.

Friendster is still number 1 for me in terms of use and functionality. MySpace doesn't even have Philippines as one of the options in choosing and adding the school that you come from.

Regardless of what was said, I am still updating it. Period.

Paris Hilton is a bitch served on a silver platter!

2006-07-16T09:15:00.000-07:00

The all rich and famous dumb blonde - Paris Hilton is one hell of a bitch. Could you imagine Paris singing her heart out to the tune of "Stars are blind"? I did. And my skin almost separated from my muscles. It was like a hen smothered to death by a rooster in the middle of their hot kinky sex. A morbid scenario huh, but more or less accurate. It was so bad I got traumatized the whole day that I skipped my meals and locked myself up in the attic.

Paris being known for her nothingness is cute. We admire her for that aside from sequels of her sex videos. She best exemplifies the all-american-blonde and can be compared to the likes of Britney Spears and Jessica Simpson, one on the brink of losing her marriage with a rapper-wanna-be and bloodsucking leech K-Fed and the other almost out of the started-as-happy-newly-weds-now-undergoing-a-nasty-divorce type respectively.

If only they could think, life would have been more wonderful and generous for them. As for Paris, she's enjoying tasting penis. Es. Penises. From one man to the other. Sometimes, both at the same time. No wonder Paris' mouth looks so distorted, it must have been overworked for her taste-testing.

Paris Hilton might be an heiress but she sure is one classless bitch who lures poor men to her overworked pussycat decorated with diamonds and fancy jewels to look awesome. Paris is a sexual predator with an insatiable appetite to semen and penis. Oh, yeah. Penis. Es. Penises.

I think she just has to do what she does best (which is making sex videos) and not singing, oh please.

Keanna Reeves is lucky

2006-07-09T11:15:00.000-07:00

I watched The Buzz earlier this evening, a local kind-of-ET here in the Philippines and I almost could not believe that Keanna Reeves was dating, according to the show, Andrew Wolffe.

Andrew Wolffe, (google him, please) is just one of the 20-year-old hotties gay men and girls drool over. And as for Keanna (google her, too), she's a rather mature woman who at first lied about her age when she first came out and joined the showbusiness industry. I don't recall or maybe I am just in denial. The fact that she is going out with Andrew Wolffe whose body is almost as sculpted as that of Adonis is almost farfetched.

Well, come to think of it, Keanna might be Andrew's type after-all. Well-endowed breasts (with silicon implants) and so-so buttocks. She's like Pamela Anderson, without the ahmmm, oooh, let's not get there. She's perfect for the young man's type. In all fairness to Keanna, she is a smart girl. She may not know English very well but once she gets serious, she knows what she's talking about. He'll learn a lot from her, both in bed and in life's choices. Yeah, baby!!!

I think if there is a woman who would understand him better about his issues, it would be Keanna. Let's just say they both had their fair share of the dark and grim past.

What the hell, I am still jealous. And Keanna is one lucky mature woman!

My PC is painstakingly SLOW and TERRIBLE.

2006-07-09T10:48:00.000-07:00

I have wanted to post something early this afternoon. And when my errands were suspended and set aside that this prehistoric PC won't even let me open an internet browser. How unfortunate, I have so many things to write and vent to my everdearest blog site and now I dont remember anything anymore. Thanks to this PC that downloads pop ads all the time, especially porn sites I don't even visit.

All I want to write now is how to dispose of this old piece of junk and figure out what PC requirements I need to just check and write to this site without delaying me 15 minutes 48 seconds to open this stupid damn thing.

And the worst part is, I have tried early this afternoon to write and it had taken me to restart this PC I am using now about 3 times. First, it won't even recognize I have a modem. Second, everytime I open it, this mother fucker porn advertisement stuck in this PC today and God knows how many times I tried to delete and look where the hell it was hiding from just won't quit popping and saving in my hard drive. If it were a free porn site, I won't even mind. Well, it's not and it's in Italian. So I don't know what it's saying. Fucker! And thirdly, I had some interesting things to write on here that I don't even remember anymore because I am preoccupied (and still am) with this unfortunate predicament.

So to my readers, if I have one, hahaha!, donations are accepted or better yet, a new and up-to-date PC is very much welcome. Just ask me where to send it to.

A TL made from China

2006-07-01T10:18:00.000-07:00

Almost everybody knows the fact that I already transferred from my previous program that got closed because of some weird and undiscussed reason to a totally established program in a new environment.

I chose Yahoo! as my new account because I THOUGHT (please take note) that it would give me room to grow and prove to myself that I can swim in a 54-foot deep ocean without a life vest.

Everything was a complete wreck since we got absorbed eventually by Yahoo!. The Communication Culture Training was okay though. Our trainer was like Simba's equal, only a female, rightful to be called as "the Lion Queen" with balls, but was able to deliver a top-quality training amongst all of us.

Immediately after that, we were required to go thru the Product Specification Training, which we thought was going to be as hard as walking on a pile of charcoal embers. But we were deceived. It was harder than that. It was that plus pounding our heads off til our brains come off of our earbuds and nostrils. Not because Yahoo! was so difficult to understand but because our "trainer" needs some more intensive training in delivering the subject matter. We mainly breezed thru the manual, and thank God I asked questions. Otherwise, we'd all be in bad shape, big time.

And so after all the training that would 'suppossedly give us knowledge' and some 'hands-on-training', we were directly put in production (on the floor) to observe and have a feel of the account. There we were, like lost kittens with no absolute acquaintances.

Hardly enough, we were dissatisfied. I personally felt the unwelcoming and bad vibe on the floor and guess what. This TL (short for Team Leader) that I think should not be a TL but a factory worker making plastics and selling them in Divisoria or Tutuban oriented us with no idea what she was doing. She couldn't even pronounce the words right and yes, she's a supervisor. And that's not the best part. Aside from her malfunctioning tongue that obviously has a Level 10 difficulty in English Pronounciation AND GRAMMAR, she could not make and deliver a sentence without the pauses, stutters, ahhhs, ahmmms and the rolling of her eyeballs in her eye sockets. Talk about EFFICIENT LEADERS in the company. She'd be a perfect example.

This TL that I am talking about is also a TL made from China! At first, she would be nice to you in front of her bosses and peers, hugging them, exchanging cheek-to-cheek "besos" (kisses from Satan) and some simple chit-chats, and once she's through, she'll be this TL that grows an unusually long claws and canines ready to fiercely devour you and make you feel that she's in control.

I could not even describe how evil she is. I know China is a country that capitalizes in cheap labor and mass production that results in low grade end-products. This lady is exactly the same, or should I say, WORSE. She'd ask you to laugh discreetly or not-so-loud when she in fact flirts and laughs like a classless bitch you can hire in exchange of a dental floss or a "jolly-jeep meal". She's a low grade, classless and a dumbass bitch who just got lucky for a promotion.

Grrrrr... She's getting in my nerves... And we were just on the floor for how many days. I just hope I can ignore her and make her invisible long enough. But on a positive note, thanks to her I made an interesting blog entry. And why would I be worried about her, she's just there to make my life interesting, I hope.

P.S.

OTHER THINGS YOU SHOULD KNOW ABOUT HER

1. She doesn't have a fashion sense AT ALL. She lives by the
all-shades-of-brown outfit a.k.a. brown-kung-brown
2. She doesn't even work hard.
3. All she does is send text messages. That's why she looks
like a big infected thumb with pus.
4. She looks at her PC and works on something for hours, even if
it's just a MEMO, an excel document or a Yahoo!Messenger chat box.
5. She acts a total classless bitch laughing and giggling with her
peers and superiors projecting an image totally different from
her real self.
6. She's cheap and is not worth an ounce of respect.

And MY GAME PLAN!

1. Play her game and get close to her.
2. Stab her in the back soon.
3. Make her life a living hell.

Saturday Mayhem

2006-06-17T01:41:00.000-07:00

Today is such a lame day. Today is the official start of my weekend and my friends are just not in the mood to go out and have a good time!!! Do they ever know what nightlife is like? All my friends are nowhere to be found. They're either in their state of hibernation (sleepyheads!!!) or God knows what they're doing... Partypoopers!!!

Damn it... I am so bored to death. I have pratically watched all day. Scanned channels and what's worse is there is nothing interesting to watch. Can just anyone shoot me in the head to end my misery?

I practically utilized all my options and done everything from my to-do list. Watched tv while having my lunch, check. Prepared my laundry for later, check. Thought of my crush, check. Checked my email, done. Talked with strangers through Yahoo Messenger, done... And now here I am in front of my old PC, updating my blog and writing all this non-sense blah, blahs.

(Sighs) Now that I am stuck at home, done watching all my favorite koreanovelas, I don't know what to do next. I just have to make do with what I have. Hmmm, since I am all alone I can watch porn all night and jack-off til my privies sore. But I am not going to do that. That is not very becoming, people might think I am some sick virgin gone delirious because of zero sexual encounters. But come to think of it, that's not a pretty bad idea afterall. Haha! Kidding! There's no fun in that either! :)

Buffet a la PIMP-les!

2006-06-14T01:23:00.000-07:00

Just when I thought I have outsmarted puberty that it suddenly visits me again out of nowhere. Don't you hate that curly hair growing on your legs until they become public pubic hair everytime you wear those shorts? Don't you just abhor that soft and silky skin turned into some grim and dark mudpit you get from exposure mostly from the sun? Don't you just LOVE your armpits growing those vicious hair that get wet whenever you perspire? Don't you LOVE them?

Well there are certain things that I liked transforming from a little boy to a guy, a term they call puberty, which by the way is confusing since I think there's just little relevance to the word compared to transformation of the body. For one, it made me a LOT taller that I was before. From the first to the middle in line is not a bad improvement at all. And that's because of puberty, too. Had I known masturbation is encouraged to boost your height at an early age, I would have done so in the past in my early years. What's there to lose than an excess teaspon of immature, sticky semen? Height is everything. Semen can be reproduced hard core by the two hardworking balls especially when horny.

Puberty also causes hormonal changes. Kids my age who used to have the soprano and operatic suddenly got stuck with the heavy, deep tenor vocals. And as for me, I got stuck with the pitchy and loud voice because of genetics. Bone structures change as well. Guys become more mascular, girls become more feminine. Girls start to go thru menstruation, and as for guys, they learn to sneak and crawl to their father's lair of porn, dirty and nude magazines with male and/or female bodies to pleasure themselves, hahaha!

But apart from all of these, what I hate most about this silly metamorphosis are those little and sometimes volcano crater-like zits that don't seem to stop from growing in the face, back and everywhere. Ladies and gentlemen, let me introduce to you the worst and my archenemy - buffet a la PIMP-les!!!

Pimples are like your enemies, they sometimes treat you nice and good. But once you diss them off and argue with them, the sudden ungodly inflammation and wrath of these tiny mother fuckers would just grow from your hair follicles til they become gigantic life-forms! They would fill your face up with zits and pus til there is no room for confidence! And they get the best of you. And after these crazy mother fuckers subsided, these scars would be left to scorn you for life! Just like your enemies.

Yes it's part of puberty, the good and the bad to balance it. But the truth of the matter is, I AM NOT transforming anymore. I AM DONE WITH PUBERTY! And still these tiny little lumps filled with bacteria just won't leave me alone. Sometimes, they let me be for a few days but these tiny, deadly and unmerciful zits just retaliate again, not just one or two but in groups. And boy they like to cuddle in one exact area, giving you a one big red bump and lump that looks like a burrow of an anthill or a cocoon. Fuck!

I have tried absolutely everything. From ointments to going to top notch dermatologists for facials and treatments. Thanks to Dra. Vicki Belo it made my skin a lot better. Thanks to that Vitamin A overdose intake that almost got me broke and scared of cholesterol as this medication does something from the inside to screw your gland secretion. It made my skin better but still, I have them, not in throngs but only mild breakouts this time. What can I do, I have an oily skin, my skin secretes too much oil that mainly causes my break-outs mixed with the worst environmental conditions in the country. Anyhow, thanks to my oily skin as well it makes rejuvenation and my youth intact, hihihi!!! I am still lucky...

I must admit it brings you down and it wrecks your self-confidence, it's true. BIGTIME! But all of you suffering or had suffered and still choose to live unnoticed, consider yourselves lucky and beautiful. Channel that negativity into something else and rediscover yourself. Focus on what you can become and not what you are at the moment. Great gifts are wrapped simple, sometimes even undesirable to conceal it's worth. Caterpillars are given the chance to become butterflies. And you, what more!

After all, beauty is just skin-deep. But it's important to be comfortable in your own skin, too with or without the Buffet a la PIMP-les!!!

A Fallen Leaf

2006-06-08T22:56:00.000-07:00

I am as good as a leaf that has fallen from a tree. I am no special.

God created me like everyone else. As normal as I can be. I am physically endowed, pretty much the same as everybody else. I have eyes, arms, legs, feet, a heart and a brain just like most of us. In that case, I am no special.

I am dissed off at times. Worse, Maltreated. I maltreat someone, too. I am misjudged. I also misjudged people. I have lustful dreams, and a few times, nightmares. I am just like you.

I am no different physically. But in the outside, I am a totally different package. I maybe Asian, termed by most by the uncivilized as a brown monkey but I am no different than a Caucasian, European or African guy.

I am unique in different ways. I think, unlike most males who use testosterone for judgment. I act according to my will. If you think you know me, you better think again. You are in for a surprise of your life.

A leaf, once fallen from a tree goes places. Once airborne, it can even reach the skies and kiss the clouds.

Sex and Something more

2006-06-08T01:33:00.000-07:00

It never fails to entertain me whenever I think about sex. The word sex, the three-letter word that seems to mean a lot of things is just so amazing. Who would forget the burning sensation of capital S-E-X in the verge of bursting and exchanging bodily fluids between you and your partner, ahem! basing this thru the books that I read and not-so-dirty mags that I pick up every once in a while of course. (And pls, don't ever think that it came from a personal experience. I am not a classless asshole bitch, at least not yet. Haha!) Who would forget that aggressive couple who all of a sudden are parents because the guy just was so caught up in passion he forgot to put a condom on and suddenly impregnated his girlfriend. Who would forget that one crazy little boy who tried to rape his playmate just because he wanted to put his small dick in that little girl's skirt all for the sake of fun. Who would forget that married man who all of a sudden was cock-less because he was caught cheating by his wife. Geez, how does he even piss? Well, the list just goes on and on. And all of these because of this three simple letters, S, e and x.

Sex is a feeling. In fact, a burning sensation. Who would not want to experience that? Even Catholic priests and nuns could not contain that sudden urge of "mmmfff" feeling. Sometimes, that vow of celibacy would just have to be set aside. Who are we to blame them. They are after all humans with cocks and pussies. All after sex.

As with my case, there would always come a time that I think of it. Sometimes if not most of the time, even more. From a virgin's point of view, yes my friends, I AM, (Get over it!) it's so ideal. We always like to picture sex in some lucid and surreal dimension. No hassles, just pure satisfaction. No diseases, no ungodly misconduct but ungodly things and all for the sake of pure sex.

But the things is, everytime I think and I tell myself I want to do it, that's just the time that I back out. So many things pop in my head. The "what-ifs", "how-abouts" and "in-case" phrases just keep on going forever. There was this one time that I wanted to have sex and one step closer of doing it, it just gave me butterflies in my stomach. There goes the "what-ifs" etc. again. What if my sexual partner isn't safe? What if we want it unprotected? Will I end up one day in a hospital with a needle stuck in my right hand, having myself treated from AIDS just because of that one stupid mistake? Or will I walk away clean, divirginized brown-ass guy who just could not stop smiling because of that unforgettable sexual encounter? Will I like it? (duh!wrong question) and my worst what if... What if I like it so much I get so hooked up to it? Will I be some heartless sexual predator hunting alleys and streets for sex? Will I be caught most of the time in cheap motels with multiple unknown partners to satisfy the urge? Will I ever stop? You know, things like that...

Sex has became somewhat a responsibility for me. Yes, it can be so consuming and somewhat splendor but you can also end up in a hospital for an STD-treatment. A penicillin and a coconut juice can only do so much for you. Aggressive as youth can be, we can always take precautions and yes, sometimes be carefree.

Life may be a one, big red-and-black roullette (spellcheck, pls), but it's up to us to play it. Sex consumes you. Sex can also make you sane, happy, blah, blahs. I am not saying it's bad or anything. As for me, as long as there is my hand as my company, masturbation would do for me until I meet that selfish, drop-dead georgeous special someone who's diseased-free, stylish and clean-looking. And whoever you are, hurry up son of a bitch, will you... I met get tired waiting for you I might end up hiring a sex slave to satisfy my bursting, uncontrolled and unleashed sexual drive!!! All my waiting for nothing!!! Hahaha!

Change

2006-05-03T22:04:00.000-07:00

Thing have definitely changed. The only thing that motivated me to come to work has been take away from me. Today is the third day of having to go to work without my former team members. They, too got transferred to different teams. I must say I do not miss all of them, but I definitely miss the things that we do together. The things that we argue about, which were mainly nonsense.

One thing I miss the most would be the noise we all create together during avail (avail = when there are no calls) time. We just try to kill time and just laugh at something that we think is funny. Though now I could get to feel the vibe of my new time, it still won't be the same. There won't be familiar faces anymore. No distinct laughs. No definite things in common we used to share together.

I guess life means moving on. Getting to accept change as it is. And try not forgetting the good times. And speaking of change, there would definitely be a big change in all of our lives. After we have been dispersed in different teams, this is much worse. XM RADIO, the program that we work for has not renewed its contract to Convergys. THEY say Convergys was too expensive, but I guess it's deeper than that. Reasons that we don't and will never know.

So here we are again, starting from scratch. Trying to choose a different program to work for, again. A whole new environment, a whole new experience. New friends, new faces, new challenges. Though it may be good, I can't seem to ask myself, "What's going to happen next?"

I don't know what the future holds. I don't know what I will become in the future. Everything seems to have been all smoked up and hazy since I started to work and taste the dog-eat-dog environment. But no matter the situation is, all I know is I am destined to do something big. Something bigger than what my heart tells me.

So hang in there and watch me get it slowly. It may not be no yet, but I will surely get there.

The Diary of a Call Center Slave

2006-04-11T20:27:00.000-07:00

Time flies.

A couple of months ago, I just started working and now look at me, I am nearly reaching my sixth month - about to be regularized and about to lose most of my co-workers. Most of them have plans of resigning. It's either they found a better job (or at least would find one) or just plain burnt out of what we usually do for customers - solve their problems and sometimes even worse. But knowing the job vacancies in the Philippines where most of the people earned a college degree, THERE IS NO BETTER JOB. JOB FAIRS offer call center employments. Nothing more. I know so, been there, done that!

In a call center world, it's normal to burst into tears. Not because of joy but frustration. It's normal to hear agents shouting and cursing because of bad calls. It's absolutely normal. A perfectly abnormal setting in the outside world is the absolute normal setting in the call center world. You are paid to be the Americans' shock absorbers. You get to be blamed, shouted at and cursed for something that you did not do. That my friend is the cost of a good paying job here in the Third World Country. We work for every single penny we get. And mind you, most of the time even more. We don't get to have that downtime and idle time where most employees get in their eight-hour-jobs. Our worktime is closely monitored, no time to socialize with co-workers and lunchbreaks are the sickest thing. We go on lunches separately and at different schedules. And no overlunches and overbreaks, otherwise, salary deduction!

In a call center world, we do almost everything. Get to answer calls, one after the other with absolutely no stop. Sometimes it's so sickening you just wished no phones were invented or phones were busted. But whichever the case is, we still would do it all over again all for the sake of money. Money that keeps the world going. Period.

(Sighs.) Gruelling as it is, my job I mean, it pays the bills. It gives me a rather convenient life. If only phonecalls could get me rich, I am now a billionaire. I might be in Carribean even as we speak tanning my butt off and feasting my eyes with men's sculpted bodies flaunting and floating on the sand beaches. But reality check, it's a harsh world. I am not one of the fortunate ones who come from a rich family. I am not bryanboy who constantly travels from one country to the other and regards his journey as just a trip from his house to Starbucks. I am not Paris Hilton whose brain floats in tequilla and goes spending my parents millions to party and be drunk all night everyday. I am not like her whose hobby is to do a sex video and get it available online just because I could not do something more. Unlike the rich and the famous, I need to work to survive. I need to work to pay for the conveniences of life and basic commodities.

Had I known I would be in this business, I should have never studied and squeezed my brains off to graduate, earn a degree and be in this mudpit.

Call Center is a good business. And I am not saying it's an easy job. Hell no!?! It takes a lot of patience to deal and make it in the business. You'll learn to smoke cigarettes (some like crack better), curse while on mute and get back to the customer with all smiles pretending you're unaffected, bitch around after a very bad call, practice the art of selective plasticism (Selective plasticism, a term I used to refer to being good to people who can influence your way up because brilliance and hardwork won't get you there!. In laymans term, sucking up to your bosses.) and to some, get a whole lot of fucking buddies. It takes a lot more if the company you're working for does not recognize your potential and your superior just milk out money from you with her butt tied to her chair doing absolutely nothing!

A lot happens in this business. But that's life - harsh, cruel and selfish. You have to set aside your ideals and principles in the meantime, go with the flow and learn the tools of the trade. That my friend is the bitter truth of the Call Center Business. Very glamorous, huh?

Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus. Homosexuals are from ...ahm...eh...ahm...?!?

2006-03-28T19:04:00.000-08:00

When you go thru books at a bookstore, browse thru the pages and read privately on purpose since those books are so damn expensive, you browse thru the covers. And whichever has the best cover would catch your attention. It is true among all of us, but few nerds just know how to pick good books from a single glance. That's just beside the point. Anyways, do you remember the book "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" or is it the other way around? That one book that was published how many years back that distinguishes and explains the difference of men and women? Well, judging from the cover and how dainty it looks like, I am assuming (because I haven't read the book yet!)that it tries to explain the obvious. In literal translation would go like, women have vaginas and men have penises.

I don't know if I would be happy of having that book published since it tries to explain the nature of opposite sexes. Yes, it sheds some light to naive people who just couldn't seem to be sensitive enough to figure out and read between the lines. But, this is just for heterosexual people. How would somebody explain an action a homosexual does when in fact that person is a half-bred of a man and a woman in one body, emotionally or physically and vice versa. How would a book explain the nature of somebody that could not be explained yet, or so I think it couldn't.

I am not discounting the fact that the book has some value, and I would have to give it a benefit of the doubt since I have not read it yet. But if it is true that Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus, what would you call the planet that homosexuals are in?Would it going to be something like Marnus, Pluto or the planet that had been kapooshed during the infamous Big Bang?

Friendster Testimonial + Big Crush on Sam = Jealousy

2006-03-22T23:06:00.000-08:00

Having been new with this falling in love thing, I can only imagine how a heart breaks. I just turned 23, still single. It sucks to some people, yes but it has somehow became my defense mechanism to go thru with life.

I recently had a crush, or so I thought it was. I first saw this bastard at the company's christmas party, all-groomed up but with a gargantuan apetite (in Filipino layman's terms, MATAKAW!). He was not the typical guy because he's short. I hate to site the obvious but he is really short. Short limbs, cute eyes, short limbs, nice hair, short limbs and nice smile. Since then, he caught my heart without even him knowing. A mere infatuation? I believe so.

The tables were turned when I checked his friendster and this lady made him a testimonial, like it was a big deal. I read and yeah it was mediocre. But the bad thing was this flirt guy made her a testimonial as well. It was short, sweet and nice. What bothered me the most was the last of the sentence I could not even decipher. What the hell did it mean? What the hell does this mean, and I quote, "She's an amazing girl and I am proud to have her with me." Can somebody tell me what the hell does this mean? I know that I can not compete with her since she has those gifts of puffy boobs and a VAGINA. And the bastard is a flirt! And who would compete with a VAGINA? I don't have that and I don't plan on having one! I love my PENIS hanging in between my thighs thank you very much!

I just turned 23, and the nerve of having that posted a day after my birthday was just so aggravating. Did they do that in purpose? Does he even know I exist? Or is he so damn pre-occupied flirting with this Rochelle Ann that he did not even think before he posted that!

I don't know what a heartbreak feels like but I think I have an idea. Before I stangle this poor girl, dice her into pieces and feed to the goldfish and skin her alive, can somebody explain to me what that last sentence means? Does that mean that he is very fortunate that he had the chance to know her and work with her as a colleague or he is proud to have this bitch with her as a couple? But I guess not, they're both single on their friendster profile. I just hope they're telling the truth. I will watch you two! Better be good or else, I'd beat you two to death.