FRAIL

In times that you don't expect something to happen and it just happens all of sudden would be the most romantic and funny thing fate can ever do to you. Especially if it's meeting your soulmate or a yummy to-be partner. But if it just involves yourself and your stupid posture that caused the cracking of your spines while getting in a car or a public transport, that's a different story. And that's exactly what happenned to my oh-so-perfect-spines.

It all started on my way to work when I got in in this nice-looking "vehicle-for-rent" a.k.a as fx in the third world country. I was in a rush since a lot of people were trying to get in it. Scarcity of public utility vehicles during this desperate times are evident due to the juxtaposition of people side by side, waiting to be picked up like prostitutes in the red light district. It's like Filipino diaspora in the entire globe everytime I go to work. That's how worst it is. Believe me.

Last night, it was written in my stars that I would get into this not so fancy fx vehicle and it was embedded in my palm lines as well that I would injure my lumbar region without even knowing the reason why. It was like giving a complete stranger your cellphone because you spaced out.

And there I was, seeing myself in the faces of others trying to find a perfect position without that hurt rooted from my lumbar region injury. No matter how slanted or how I do my used-to-be comfy position, still the hurt won't go away. I spent the entire time supporting my body with my both hands grasping what my hands could get a hold of so the pain would be minimized. But it was an absolute discomfort. It really was.

I spent the entire night at work trying to look for that perfect spot so the ache won't consume me. And I was unsuccessful. After a handful of pain reliever and menthol scent on the floor getting into my colleagues' nostrils (poor victims), still I failed to fulfil my agenda - to be numb.

In these trying times when you thought you were invincible, it's funny how we all become vulnerable for a disease that we never ever thought would bring us down. It's funny how we draw our strength from others. To those people that we barely know. To those acquaintances and friends. Just like how we draw our faith from God, praying religiously for everything to go away. Just like that.

Healing is the law of nature. And it needs time to heal. It's just a matter of time for my back to bloom again and fully recuperate. I can't wait to reach my toes while arching my back again, hehe.

The Haunting

Everyday marks the beginning of our new haunting. From the time that we get off from bed til the time that we get on it again, it's interesting how we always see ourselves flawed and imperfect.

Mirror has always been our partner in crime. We always take a closer look at ourselves. Comparing what we don't have and hoping to have what we lack. We always find ways and routes to the road of ephemeral beauty - from our outta bed dos to our lashes to the lips to the pimple to the pore to the scar to the most uninhibited mole in the most unknown part of us, we notice. Hoping that it's gone and away. We find what we don't have and hate or hope for something that we think would look good on us. We drown ourselves with the "what-ifs" and the "I-wish" statements that draw and elicit personal disliking about one's self.

Comparison is just a contagious disease. It makes you realize what you don't have and not seem to be contented with what has been given to you. It makes you take things for granted. It makes you unappreciate the littlest graces, long and become thirsty of grave things you think important that just aren't.

When was the last time that you appreciated yourself? When was the last time that you embraced and walked tall with that wrinkle around your eye AND NOT think of botox for a second there? When was the last time that you counted your blessings?

When you look into the mirror, you see yourself's reflection. You ask about that pimple you see in between your eyebrows and how badly you want to go to your dermatologist for a facial. Oooh, that can be so soothing. And then you suddenly think of your hair, too. That it's begging you for a new do and hair color. And yeah, that hair spa would do such wonders to your scalp. But before you do that, think of children in the streets that have endured hunger whose last meal was yesterday. Those exact same children who had not taken a bath and who never dared to think of their scalp and skin tones simply because they get preoccupied shutting their eyes so they won't feel the hurt from their stomachs.

Whenever you complain about your job, think of people that badly wanted to be in your position - to earn as much and to do what you do. Those who badly need the work that you do to bring food on the table.

Whenever you long for a shirt or a pair of pants that cost hundreds or thousands of pesos, think of those people who could not even afford to buy one. Those who use cartons or grocery boxes as a "make-do" solution for their mishaps, to cover their slender and frail bodies.
I guess what I am saying is, we must learn to appreciate. Learn to savor every bit of something that is being given to us. Be thankful for the things that are provided and not ask for things that are lacking.

In this day and age when the situation has gotten from bad to worse I couldn't help but wonder, "how does an ounce of gratitude help us through life's inconsistencies? Is it really gratitude or faith that we hold on to?"

VEGETARIAN for a CAUSE

My first entry after a month of shutting up. That's a shocker. Gees, it has been a while indeed since I updated my blog and Jesus Christ, I missed it.

I had been busy worrying about my health for the past weeks. I had all sorts of check ups and going back and forth in Medical City. No serious health condition though, I just panicked and exagerrated the symptons. After some stressful tests here and there, I am in my best shape ever, except for my BP (short for blood pressure).

I have been regarded as the healthiest person around the workplace - nice body (ahem) but not body-builder-ish, positive outlook but not all-smiles all the time and the friendliest among the block with the hi-hello of sorts. But due to stress, I was not able to cope up with my borderline to hypertension blood pressure.

So I am doing all the precautions possible. And as for starters, vegetarianism. It's my third week as a vegetarian already. Well, not exactly. I am more like a flexitarian. I still eat meat - fish and chicken mostly. My diet would mainly be fruits and steamed veggies, sauteed or fried. I limit my carbs intake and confine myself with cereals and oatmeals as subtitutes. It has been good so far but man, it's killing me. Bluntless of food with little or no sodium just makes me feel like eating in a garden, literally. With the goats, rabbits and cows free in the green pasture.

Thank God, my BP is still the same, near the threshold of normal and beyond normal. And it is sometimes scary. Im starting to think this is something that is caused by my poor lifestyle and too much stress in the workplace. Little did I know that it's slowly killing me like a bastard waiting for his chance for revenge. Well, there is a consequence for every opportunity in life. Life is full of surprises. You just gotta do what you gotta do.

And as for me, I would have to take care of my body more because I only have one gorgeous, smooth and flawless complexion. I have thought of getting back in shape again and enrolling myself in a gym to tone muscles and do some cardiovascular activities. I need an outlet for stress. Or better, if I can do yoga. If I can afford it. Fuck it. It is so expensive. You relax for a month thru yoga lessons for Php 4000+. And I am NOT kidding. It's that much for a relaxation. So I guess in a busy world that we are living on now, relaxation is a mere luxury not everybody can afford.

But stick to vegetarianism. He. he. he. It's good for you. :)