I never imagined that going to work last friday was my last day for STATEMENT. I was awakened by an SMS message from my boss stating that I did not have to report for work for the meantime. And that they would just ring me if ever there was a need to do so.
For some reason, I felt that it was my time to go for the 'meantime', like I know what it means, hehe. I accepted the fact that the magazine is not doing so well. It was not a top priority. We lack that magazine workforce and that's something that cannot be taken for granted. The magazine, no matter how aethestically we want to put it together, it was still a cost-inducing endeavor.
Amidst all our shortcomings, I was euphoric. I did enjoy everything I did, almost. I loved the people I was working with. I expanded my network of people. I knew a lot of interesting personalities. I cherished the whole experience.
It became my comfort zone for a period of four months. It became my life and my true blue product. Now that it's coming to an end by a plain text in less than an hour to get to work, it had happened, like a tree that withers and sheds its leaves during autumn and winter.
Spring time is coming to me soon. Or do i call what had happened to me as the start of my spring?One thing is certain, one thing I am assurred of. I am a better person. Just like what Nietzche said, 'what doesn't kill you make you stronger'.
Sunday, April 17, 2005
Saturday, April 16, 2005
Freaky Friday
Upon going to work last friday, I sure told myself that I would be hooking up with "long time, no see" college friends to see and have a chat with them to know what had gone and what happened with their lives. For no reason at all, I called two of my college friends I had never seen for a long, long time, like the mesozoic era. So I really had to contact them and just sit down, talk and enjoy, like what we always do.
So with that plan in mind, I acted as the organizer. I started to call both, one after the other, disclosing my plan for us three for the night. Each one agreed to meet up at Glorietta, a place jampacked with jologs, I know. But that was the most mundane meeting place and most accessible in the Makati area. And after all, it will just be going to be the meeting place, not THE place.
Everything seemed to be sailing smoothly, not until I was ready to leave. My boss called, which happened to be my friend's mother that made it so, so (with a strong, grave emphasis on this one) hard to refuse an order from. She wanted me to do a step-by-step procedure on how to pull-out and bill the consignees of the magazine that we have, which I found a not-so-vital thing to do during that time. It got me perplexed for having to need that list on a friday evening because no company is willing to be billed on weekends. And right before I get off from work? But since, I value and give a high regard for her, I did what I was told, also thinking of my friends' predicament once they find out that I was still there at the office typing something I was not sure to be useful and urgent on a friday night.
I was totally pissed off that all I could do was to do constant deep breaths everytime I finished typing a word. I never felt so restricted in my whole life. That was my first and only job that made me that obedient. What happened to devious and 'I-speak-my-mind-me'?That entire hour I stayed there, I could hear my mobile phone over and over for those SMS messages from my friend who happened to be there already, indignant and worried.
The whole time I was there, I felt helpless and possessed that instant that I could not voice out what I wanted to say considering and keeping in mind my friend and I was working for her mother. It kind of complicated things in instances that you have to say no but couldn't. It is fun staying and working for somebody you know that is close to you somehow, but in instances where you have to refuse, say something totally different and just give out simple comments, it is not easy at all.
I ended up staying for one more hour in the office to finish what was asked from me, pissed the whole time. And it caught me thinking, is it bad to actually be good at what you do? When do you say no and how do you say it when you know for sure that a certain tie is going to be on the line?Will it be better if you knew and work for a boss whose not totally related to you, just plain professionally, I mean?
So with that plan in mind, I acted as the organizer. I started to call both, one after the other, disclosing my plan for us three for the night. Each one agreed to meet up at Glorietta, a place jampacked with jologs, I know. But that was the most mundane meeting place and most accessible in the Makati area. And after all, it will just be going to be the meeting place, not THE place.
Everything seemed to be sailing smoothly, not until I was ready to leave. My boss called, which happened to be my friend's mother that made it so, so (with a strong, grave emphasis on this one) hard to refuse an order from. She wanted me to do a step-by-step procedure on how to pull-out and bill the consignees of the magazine that we have, which I found a not-so-vital thing to do during that time. It got me perplexed for having to need that list on a friday evening because no company is willing to be billed on weekends. And right before I get off from work? But since, I value and give a high regard for her, I did what I was told, also thinking of my friends' predicament once they find out that I was still there at the office typing something I was not sure to be useful and urgent on a friday night.
I was totally pissed off that all I could do was to do constant deep breaths everytime I finished typing a word. I never felt so restricted in my whole life. That was my first and only job that made me that obedient. What happened to devious and 'I-speak-my-mind-me'?That entire hour I stayed there, I could hear my mobile phone over and over for those SMS messages from my friend who happened to be there already, indignant and worried.
The whole time I was there, I felt helpless and possessed that instant that I could not voice out what I wanted to say considering and keeping in mind my friend and I was working for her mother. It kind of complicated things in instances that you have to say no but couldn't. It is fun staying and working for somebody you know that is close to you somehow, but in instances where you have to refuse, say something totally different and just give out simple comments, it is not easy at all.
I ended up staying for one more hour in the office to finish what was asked from me, pissed the whole time. And it caught me thinking, is it bad to actually be good at what you do? When do you say no and how do you say it when you know for sure that a certain tie is going to be on the line?Will it be better if you knew and work for a boss whose not totally related to you, just plain professionally, I mean?
Sunday, April 10, 2005
What a week that was!
Events had come to pass from the last time I updated this blog of mine. Events that will predict my future endeavors from the tasks I vowed to fulfill in the present. And from the way I utter words that have been rather rhetoric and formal, the language I am using now is so Lord-of-the-rings-ish, which is both cool and mind-challenging. Thank goodness I paid attention to Galadrea (I think I mispelled her name, but what the hell!) a.k.a. Lady of Woods.
My work had got me tangled for the past week. No Ragnarok for me, no internet and exchange of mails from real and friendster friends, none of those as I had been busy preparing and seeking advertisers for the magazine. I had to work twice as hard and twice as fast because we were a couple of workforce short. I was way busy also preparing for last friday's shoot which, went pretty much okay. But, I would have done better if I had more time to prepare. It happened so fast I lost track of time and lost my planning skills along the way, too, hehe.
Aside from work, I went to the province to attend a very special event. Yesterday, we attended my grandparent's 60th wedding anniversary. Can you believe that?They had been together for more than sixty years and they literally have grown old together, still going strong, not physically of course. I am so proud of my grandparents. It is an accomplishment as it is. A celebration in its own right.
The celebration gave us the chance to mingle with our cousins that we haven't seen for quite a while now, nephews and nieces as well. It also served as a get-together for our grandparents' sixty-something predecessors, too. We belong to a humongous extended family since most of my cousins conceived my would-be nephews and nieces at pretty much a justfiable age, pretty young but not old enough to enjoy being single. Or is it just me that thinks quite that absurd notion? What's done is done. And they seem to be enjoying what they chose for their lives. I would just be happy for them then. So, that pretty much added our family tree branches.
I had an interesting week. No grudges against anyone since this morning that got me all-fired up for a death bout. Shoosh, I better keep my mouth shut. I don't want to ruin the moment of joy and euphoria.
My work had got me tangled for the past week. No Ragnarok for me, no internet and exchange of mails from real and friendster friends, none of those as I had been busy preparing and seeking advertisers for the magazine. I had to work twice as hard and twice as fast because we were a couple of workforce short. I was way busy also preparing for last friday's shoot which, went pretty much okay. But, I would have done better if I had more time to prepare. It happened so fast I lost track of time and lost my planning skills along the way, too, hehe.
Aside from work, I went to the province to attend a very special event. Yesterday, we attended my grandparent's 60th wedding anniversary. Can you believe that?They had been together for more than sixty years and they literally have grown old together, still going strong, not physically of course. I am so proud of my grandparents. It is an accomplishment as it is. A celebration in its own right.
The celebration gave us the chance to mingle with our cousins that we haven't seen for quite a while now, nephews and nieces as well. It also served as a get-together for our grandparents' sixty-something predecessors, too. We belong to a humongous extended family since most of my cousins conceived my would-be nephews and nieces at pretty much a justfiable age, pretty young but not old enough to enjoy being single. Or is it just me that thinks quite that absurd notion? What's done is done. And they seem to be enjoying what they chose for their lives. I would just be happy for them then. So, that pretty much added our family tree branches.
I had an interesting week. No grudges against anyone since this morning that got me all-fired up for a death bout. Shoosh, I better keep my mouth shut. I don't want to ruin the moment of joy and euphoria.
Monday, April 04, 2005
My Worst Fear, unfolding...
After having to work on the advertisers for the past weeks for the magazine I am working on, it's slowly getting to me now. The reality that good things never seem to last is my motto for the last couple of weeks. Phone call after phone call I was praying and hoping that advertisers would sign up for a media placement in the magazine. But, crap, it was a lot harder than I thought.
I was not hired to be the advertising leg of the magazine, but I kind of help and assist the marketing and advertising people for we are in dire need of advertisers' mercy for the second issue of the magazine. It turns out our efforts are a foot short from that elusive media placement.
So, as a result, I think we won't be printing copies to sell. The publisher will be printing enough copies to give to sponsors, models, staff and the people who have worked for the magazine's second issue. I just hope I can secure two copies for my portfolio and personal unmutilated copy.
It is fun to be working in the magazine industry. It signifies more people to meet and a better turn-out of your craft because of practice and harsh criticisms you get everyday. It's a dog-eats-dog world and only the strong-willed ones survive. It's the modern day bloodless pit-bull fight, only you get to see humans fighting for their lives and careers, but, nevertheless, worth the animosities!
Who cares. Everything happens for a reason. This is just something that I have to deal with. After all, it's all about conquering your fears and learning to use that fear to your advantage.
I live for the moment. I see no reason why I have to deal with such pitfall, if you can even call it that! Period. I mean, exclamation point.
I was not hired to be the advertising leg of the magazine, but I kind of help and assist the marketing and advertising people for we are in dire need of advertisers' mercy for the second issue of the magazine. It turns out our efforts are a foot short from that elusive media placement.
So, as a result, I think we won't be printing copies to sell. The publisher will be printing enough copies to give to sponsors, models, staff and the people who have worked for the magazine's second issue. I just hope I can secure two copies for my portfolio and personal unmutilated copy.
It is fun to be working in the magazine industry. It signifies more people to meet and a better turn-out of your craft because of practice and harsh criticisms you get everyday. It's a dog-eats-dog world and only the strong-willed ones survive. It's the modern day bloodless pit-bull fight, only you get to see humans fighting for their lives and careers, but, nevertheless, worth the animosities!
Who cares. Everything happens for a reason. This is just something that I have to deal with. After all, it's all about conquering your fears and learning to use that fear to your advantage.
I live for the moment. I see no reason why I have to deal with such pitfall, if you can even call it that! Period. I mean, exclamation point.
Friday, April 01, 2005
APRIL FOOL'S DAY!
April Fool's Day was the best day of April for me this year. It did give me such an incredible feeling to know that it was my arch enemy's lasy day of work. There will be no Estee Lauder Kikay kit for us in the office, no social climber, no try-hard-sosyalista and definitely, no eyesore for me.
I will sure miss his wrong grammar and sentence construction among the gargantuan things he SHOULD NOT HAVE DONE when he was there.This is better than him around. I would not have trade it for the world!
It was macabdre, I know. But who says masochism is not THE best form of revenge!
I will sure miss his wrong grammar and sentence construction among the gargantuan things he SHOULD NOT HAVE DONE when he was there.This is better than him around. I would not have trade it for the world!
It was macabdre, I know. But who says masochism is not THE best form of revenge!
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